Should we be strict about our 13 month old's sleeping routine?

Question

My son is 13 months old and has slept with us since he was born, I love it but my husband wants him out of bed and in his own room idealy. I am terrified of him being in another room out of reach and where I cant get to him or protect him. We have a packnplay in our bedroom but he climbs out to get in bed with us. He goes to sleep at 11:30 at night, ONLY if we are both in bed with him and wakes up at 10:30 or 11:30am. For naps during the day he will only usually go to sleep in my lap or the car. We try to put him in his crib for naps but he screams like crazy. For example he is in his crib right now and has been screaming for 2 hours. He is crying profusly and wont stop. were trying to be strong but he is so miserable. We dont know if this is just his personality to be codependent or if he can really handle this. He is terrorized of being alone. But has no problem with babysitters or going to the daycare at the gym. Just at home for naps and bedtime. We dont know what to do anymore

he has slept alone maybe 5 times in his whole life and thats when he was younger, my husband doesnt like cuddling, but me and my baby do. Hes most definitly a mamas boy and i see nothing wrong with that. Hes been screaming for 3 hours now. Im NOT afraid of screaming, but im afraid of him being scarred from this, if we have to keep doing it. Our intamicy has not suffered from it either. We are intimate when he sleeps. im just worried that if this is his personality, (his need to be physically close to us) i dont want to cause mental health problems. And as far as the protection i was talking about, i worry about fires, suffocation and him freezing at night, it gets in the negatives here and he constantly kicks his blankets off even when he sleeps with us. the few times he has slept alone he wakes up sick.

Answer 1

First of all, that's an awful sleep schedule--in two years you're going to be putting him in preschool (most likely) which will probably start around 8 or 8:30 am. Slowly push his schedule back to accommodate that time. Buy a crib tent and put it over the crib so he can't climb out. Do that for a few days. Then, leave him in the room to sleep by himself. Yes, he'll scream--he's testing you. You know he's fed, dry, and ready to sleep. He wants things his way--welcome to having a toddler. Let him cry. Reassure him every fifteen minutes or so. If it makes the screaming worse, then just let him scream. After you get him to sleep in your room by himself for about a week, move him to his own room. The risk of SIDS is extremely low after a year and you're not protecting him at night--he's sleeping. What does he need protection from? Get a baby monitor so you can hear him. You'll all sleep much better and if your husband is really concerned about this issue, it's going to become a strain on your relationship if it hasn't already. Don't give in and each time you let him cry, it'll be shorter than the day before. I promise!

Answer 2

I can't believe you let a baby stay up that late, or sleep so late. Put him in his crib when you want him to go to sleep (let's try maybe 9 pm at the latest He's going to cry, until he realizes nobody is going to take him out. Then he'll go to sleep. This will probably happen for a week or so. He's not terrified of being alone in his bed, sounds more like you're terrified of hearing the crying. And he should be waking up around 8 am or earlier, with a few exceptions. And by the way you shouldn't be letting him sleep in anything he can easily climb out of at that age. This will be hard because you've let him sleep with you so long. Your husband must have the willpower and patience of a saint.

Answer 3

I would personally skip foundation because you're 13 and dont need it everyday :) - If you have dry skin, put your moisturizer on before putting on makeup (make sure it is oil free or it wont mix well with your makeup) - Apply a BB cream or tinted moisturizer, the drug stores have came out with many of these that are affordable. A good one from the drug store is Maybelline dream fresh BB cream ( it doesnt give great coverage but it does what a BB cream needs to do) BB creams correct the skin and helps even out skin tones to make them looking fresh - If you would like you can apply a powder with a coverage, which means not getting a translucent one but one with a colour in it - Apply your mascara to your upper lashes only, you can curl them if you want - Lightly apply some blush on your cheeks - put your favourite lip balm on and you're ready to go!

Answer 4

This is a dilemma, but you can get through it. I'm sure your hubby misses the intimacy you and he could once freely share. Still, your son will only be tiny for so long and then it's over.
The 11:30pm to 10-11:30am sleeping is great. He's just used to having you guys around. It has to do with your scent and breathing and just what makes you his parents. If the crib will allow, try putting down the side and half-lying in it with him until he calms down. Putting him down while he's half-awake is good too. Try to pick up on his cues to when he's tired (fussy is too late, look for eye-rubbing or other signs) and get him in quiet place sooner. Start with half-lying with him and soothing him. If you can't lay with him, pick him up and soothe him and then set him back down. (You may have to do this 100 times before he'll rest, but next time it'll only be 57 and then 26, etc.)
I'm a firm believer in NOT letting them cry it out. It only fosters and encourages the child's feeling that you won't be there when they need you (part of why they fuss in the first place is for attention/soothing). So, if you prove to him that you'll come when he cries and soothe him then he'll trust that and cry less. Also, try having him spend time in his crib by himself while he's happy and alert. Playing by himself (watched from across room by you) will help him to know that the crib is an ok place that isn't just associated with the frustration and upset of naptime. ;)
Good luck.

Blessings to you.

Answer 5

Some babies have a high need to be close and need extra help to get to sleep. Personally, I'd never let a baby scream like that. Hold him, rock him, or nurse him to sleep, or put him in the stroller, sling, or car seat and go for a walk or drive until he falls asleep. He'll learn to fall sleep on his own when he is developmentally ready to do so.

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070100.asp
http://www.kellymom.com/parenting/sleep/index.html

Answer 6

Put him a crib in your room. You really ought to get him to sleep by himself (yes it will be hard) But you don't want him to be 5 years old and still sleeping in the bed with yall. I know that it's hard, but just keep tryin and you have to have faith in it. Soon enough he'll get the hang of a new sleeping habit and he will be just fine. Good luck.

Answer 7

I'm strict about my 9 month old's sleep routine.

Answer 8

1)Do you want to stay married?
2)Do you ever want grandchildren?

Put him in his own bedroom ,like, yesterday?SICK!!