how do you move on after a bad relationship?

Question

i have been with my partner for 12 years and i am considering ending it we have 4 kids, i feel like he does not put me and the kids first, he is always putting his friends before us, he says it's not like that but i think it is. i have tryed talking to him but he does not get it, i am at the end of my rope and i don't know what else to do i am physically drained and emotionally unstable. please can someone offer me some advice on what to do i can't afford a therapist but i am willing to take some good advice if anyone has any

Answer 1

If you think your the only one with this problem check out my problem my man for the longest time told everyone i was after him lol after that when we were together he told on me with my cousin that i was after him lol after that when we were in a relationship he put his friends first dont ask after marriage so your not the only one with this problem he has to grow older when his friends leave him hell get to his senses

Answer 2

well, what woke my husband up was me moving out of the house and then moving to another state....(try 815 miles away from him). we didn't live together for 3 years....(the first two we were still messing around and i was only 20 minutes away). we have 3 wonderful kids. if he will not listen to reason, then you may have to take drastic action. I do recommend some sort of therapy....sometimes you can find it thru the health dept for very little. communication is key when it comes to making a relationship work. I know since we have been back together, i have had to put my foot down a few times to get my point across.....all i know he is really trying b/c he doesn't want me and the kids to leave again. he said that when i left last year, it killed him....he couldn't work, eat or anything...it killed him.....i really do wish you the best. 12 years is a long time (i have been with mine for 13)....give it a go and try everything....a romantic dinner, candles, etc...before you give up.

Answer 3

Check with your local church for counseling services; check with your health insurance carrier for counseling service coverage; check your employer for an Employee Assistance Program referral. Just because you do not have money does not mean you cannot find services. That is going to be the only way for you to make a life changing decision that will be in the best interest of you and your children. Don't throw in the towel and leave, your kids are depending on you.

Answer 4

I really think you should end it. No relationship should have you both emotionally and physically drained. You have warned him about the problem you have with him and he hasn't fixed it. That could mean he doesn't care, because if he did care he would make an effort to change. Just end the relationship and move on life is too short to spend it trying to make something work that won't work.

Answer 5

unless he is beating u or betraying u it can be worked on, seek therapy at some church it may not cost u a penny. this can be worked on if he is willing to listen to u, and let u have your say. but u will also have to listen to what he thinks too. marriage has its ups and downs, u will have to look at what is good versus what is wrong and try telling him exactly what u need from him first before leaving.

Answer 6

Don't leave him or your children. All you need to do is read some other questions on here to realize that your version of "for better or for worse" is not that bad.

If you do leave him, you will need help to move on. This is not something you will be able to do alone and remain emotionally healthy.

I recommend if you leave that you attend self help groups for separated and divorced people. You can find them at Churches or if you ask around.

Good luck. I will pray for you, your marriage, and mostly your children.

Answer 7

tell him what you want and if he wont listen then take steps to move out.