My friend made a confession to me a while ago. To make a long story short, I have a friend who cheated on her husband and got pregnant. Her boyfriend said he wouldn't take care of the baby unless she got rid of her husband. She pressed spousal rape charges on her husband. He was convicted and she's moved on with the new guy.
When she admitted it was a lie, I felt bad that he was convicted, but he was a pretty bad husband. He was even abusive at times. That's why she cheated. But he's innocent of the rape charge. What can I do? Should I tell someone? I don't have actual proof and it might just make it worse. It would definitely end our friendship. Should I mind my own business?
2007-12-01 06:29:08 · 42 answers · asked by Aileara 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The moral and right thing to do would be to tell the police. Just because he was abusive doesn't mean he deserves to be put in jail as a rapist. He should be punished for what he actually did, and in this case, he doesn't deserve punishment for a crime he never committed.
Eventually, you will get over the loss of your friend and find new ones. However, you will never lose that guilty feeling on your conscience if you don't do the right thing and clear the husband's name.
In addition, you could get in trouble by the law for not giving up this information. Telling the truth would save your own hide as well as the husband's, but not saying anything would get you in trouble and the husband in jail for a very long time.
Also, maybe you could offer this information to the police and not mention your own identity. This way, everything will be set right, but your friend wouldn't know that it was you who told her secret.
Remember, never be a bystander. You have to speak up and tell the truth. Good luck!
2007-12-01 06:50:18 · answer #1 · answered by Adelaide S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What kind of a friend is this anyway....I would certainly call the police dept in the city where he was convicted, and let them know what she told you. Being a bad or lousy husband is one thing and being convicted of a crime he didn't commit is entirely a different story. I would do what is right. Regardless of the so called friendship.....Just think maybe you will piss her off someday, and she will accuse you of theft, or abusing her kid and file charges....Yeah this is really a good friend...NOT....think about it.....do what is right......find your inner conscience....Maybe she will do the same thing to your husband.....then what........???? You really don't know her as a friend do you?....you just thought you did.
EDITED: I just read by two other answers that you may have posted this before. If you have to post this 2 times to figure out an answer, then you either are the one lying, or the one that put your Husband in Jail and you are having trouble with your own conscience...AGAIN, JUST DO WHAT IS MORALLY RIGHT.........AND BE DONE WITH IT.
2007-12-01 06:38:09 · answer #2 · answered by Toffy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bad husband or not, no one deserves to have their life wrecked by such an event. Think about it, your friend committed willful perjury, perverted the course of justice and brought false charges against her husband. Due to her lies an innocent person is now behind bars, he lost his job and his future by her lies. When he is released he will carry the stigma of being a rapist and will be on the Sex Offenders register for the rest of his life.
Indeed you should, you must speak up against this. Either find out who his lawyer is and go see him, or discuss the matter with your local police who may or may not be interested depending on where you live. Not acting on the information could lead you to be open to a charge of aiding and abetting a crime as you are knowingly withholding information about a crime that has been committed.
2007-12-01 07:10:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think a wise person would stay away from stuff like this. Clearly your friend is not honest and probably lied her way into another relationship as well. Question is should you remain friends? Leave her husband alone. Dont get involved and keep far from this situation. I get the idea you like the man subconciously but once a jerk always a jerk - that is of course if your friend was telling the truth.
This whole thing is messy and quite frankly I would seek better friends! Move away completely - shes no firend trust me!
2007-12-01 07:00:54 · answer #4 · answered by uniquechild 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to think that this man is suffering because of something he never did. But your friend has got away with something wrong that she HAS done. And if it slipped out that you knew that she had lied to the police then you'd probably get into trouble to.
You can always tell the police anonymously and they'll hopefully sort it out from there.
I really think you're going to have to say something to the police, or even better, encourage her too.
Yes, it will end your relationship but she has to know that what she did was terribly wrong and just because her ex-husband wasn't the best, it doesn't mean he should have to go through whatever sentence he's been given and of course, rape is a pretty serious charge - he'll have a sex-offender's criminal record for the rest of his life. A criminal record that isn't even true.
2007-12-01 06:34:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 1⤋
I think it's very simple.. Do the right thing. If you lose your friend because of it, then chances are she's not really the kind of person you want to be friends with anyways. If she wanted out of her marriage, she should have just filed for divorce, instead of accusing him of rape. He was convicted, and unless they overturn that, it will follow him for the rest of his life. It doesn't matter what went on in their marriage. She lied, and had him convicted for something he didn't do to her. That's wrong on so many levels..
So yes, do the right thing and talk to the police immediately.
2007-12-01 07:20:08 · answer #6 · answered by arkiegirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To me she has done what she have to do...some times it may be the wrong way.
But she had complicated her life that bad...she don't have much choice.
If she choose to break from her bfriend and stick with her husband will her husband able to look after hers and the future baby's need. And if she live the husband just like that, do you think the husband will accept it easily.
And now after she confessed the truth to you and if you tell the truth to the authority or any of your friends, does it benefits you?
To me just leave it as it is....let her pay the price for what ever she did....whether it is the right things or wrong things to do, it is not our right to judge her.
2007-12-01 06:46:57 · answer #7 · answered by ein 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are doing the right thing. Don't let that bastard any where near your kids. I have been in the same boat with my two boys. I found out that my maintanice man was convicted with sexually liberties with a child and I moved out. Keep your children safe no matter what cost. If you have to keep them from their dad for awhile to make your point then do it. Great parenting. Keep it up.
2016-04-07 01:59:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, how would you feel if someone accused you of something like that when you did absolutely nothing to deserve it. You pick poor girlfriends. Imagine what she could or would do to you if some circumstance arose where she needed to to blame someone for something they didn't do. You need to go to the authorities and defend the innocent man. Your only evidence seems to be the fact that she told you what she did.
Whether he was a bad husband or not is no reason for someone to be falsely accused.
Please do something about it.
2007-12-01 06:48:29 · answer #9 · answered by Yner 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to the police immediately. An innocent man was wrongly convicted of a crime. if you don't do anything, you're just as guilty as your friend and her new man. A friendship with someone that snaky is NOT worth holding on to.
2007-12-01 06:38:48 · answer #10 · answered by blue_angel29 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋