I am so mad at my husband, we have a business together, but sometimes he is just "squashing" me?

Question

right now I hate him, we have the same arguments over and over. he is irrational , too jealous and speaks to me as if I am working for him. I cannot handle it any longer. and no I give him no reason to be jealous, I am fat but I have good business sense and get along with everybody. I have tried to change the roles...but then I get the "silent" treatment...how do I change him for the better of our relationship...how do I get to love him again? I just don't like spending time with him anymore...should I leave...that is how I feel. what about our business, we have a 50/50 partnership

when I suggested that I go and work I was told that then it is the end of our marriage. I am not trying to change my husband, I am trying to change the situation. why must we woman always be the underdogs...hell we live in the 20th century and if my husband had more money than me and supported me financially, gladly the he could be my boss!

Answer 1

There is a book available on the market called "Men who hate women and the women who love them!" This book is about men who have issues with women because they had bad relationships with their mothers. They like to control manipulate and make a wife feel inferior. The worse she feel the better he feels and the more in control he feels. These men are referred to as misogynists. They need help!

I dont say this is the case with your marriage, but he may have similar tendencies. On the other hand we are often to blame for allowing men to be rude and abusive to us as women. We are too afraid sometimes to say something. You need to first of all begin to realize that you are someone and you are unique and you are special. You are talented and possibly a threat to your husband.

Most husbands and wives should not work together, because generally they take home work with them and there is never a break away from its clutches either.

You also sound like a peoples person and he might not be. Usually in cases like yours men are threatened by your popularity and even envious. He wants to be charming and also wants good business sense and probably resents you for it.

My first suggestion is that you try behaving respectfully towards him regardless of whether he is disrespectful towards you. One of you has to yield and usually its the wife who does the yielding, but if you want to get off the crazy cycle of resentment and disrespect, you need to choose to override all the negative feelings and emotions and choose to bounce back and stand up for what is right. Tell him what you respect about him.

Look I just want to put you in the picture that I had the same thing as you have and by changing my attitude things really came right again.

I think my best recommendation is that you go to a christian book shop or exclusive books maybe enven Wordsworth and look for a book called Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs and follow all instructions
This book is awesome and will really help you. I used it and applied it and it really made an incredible difference.

I am also from South Africa.

You can change everything around. Dont think divorce. Its silly. COntact me if you would like me to help you with this. I really can do this for you and it would be a pleasure. You can contact me through yahoo.

Nothing cannot be changed. All it means is that if you choose to fix a thing you need to be dedicated and committed to giving this your all. Most marriages go sour around the 10 year period of marriage or even the 20 year period. One really has to fight for ones marriage these days but you can fix this.

You will love him again, you actually do...you are merely frustrated right now. Trust me you dont want to get divorced.
Its a terrible process and I think worse than death. Fight for your marriage my girl - dont give up an dont listen to negative answers on this channel either. People give up far too easily these days. Your story can improve.

PS if you get the first book recommended, I would tell you not to take it too heart because it reall tends to go a little over board, but the basis of it is pretty true. THe second book about Love and Respect is brilliant and comes highly recommended.

God bless you and look up for where your help will come from.

Answer 2

The problem is you can't change anyone, you may have to do the changing if you continue the relationship.
It is stressful to maintain a relationship when you are together all day in business and afterward, and it has affected your feelings. If he feels you are the "hired-help" he may not be able to change.
You may want to take a break from the work relationship if possible. Can you get a job somewhere else and let him hire someone to help with your business? That might give you some perspective on whether you can restore the loving feelings you once had. If not then try to get him to see a counselor, or go alone.

Answer 3

I hate to tell you this but some fat people are very attractive, some men really like bigger woman.
Is he jealous because of men or because you get along with everyone?
Flat out ask him why he does the things he does, maybe you are doing something that makes him feel like he is not a real man, and you don't know it.
He could be insecure about your marriage, or over stressed, or maybe something that was said or done has just got him down, ask him you have nothing to lose, if you don't ask you could end up leaving and I am not to sure that is what you want right now.

Answer 4

These great articles will give your perspective. Good luck and hang in there!

Is Your Relationship Healthy? Some Questions To Ask Yourself
http://www.hearts-and-kisses.com/relationshipadvice-is-your-relationship-healthy.html

Stop Arguing and Start Communicating: Communication Tips That Can Save Your Marriage
http://www.hearts-and-kisses.com/relationshipadvice-basic-communication-tips.html

Should I Stay Or Go? Knowing When To End A Marriage
http://www.hearts-and-kisses.com/relationshipadvice-should-i-stay-or-should-i-go.html

Answer 5

what about the business?
either one buys the other out
or the venture is sold and the proceeds split 50/50
it's a tough thing running a business with your spouse
as money and politics ( as who is the boss, who takes the lead ) often get in the way of love
and from the onset that, ( the rules of the business ) should have been predefined BEFORE you got into business
so you understand what is expected of your role and how to solve the problems once conflicts in the business arise\

this is why it's often the mantra NEVER to mix love and money
they are not compatible

Answer 6

You can't change him.

First you need to accept that, and then you can be rational, too. Women who think they can do something to change someone else are just fooling themselves.

If you don't like the way he treats you, quit. Go to work outside in another business.

Changing the roles???? Please...that's the fastest way to piss off a man.

I'd quit and get a job, or find a counselor/mediator who can come in and see how you two operate together and help to counselor you into making things better, or go right into a counselor's office.

If you keep trying to change him, you'll keep hitting the brick wall.

Answer 7

You can't change him, you can only change yourself. You are approaching this the wrong way. Perhaps your attitude and the way you treat him leaves him feeling 'unmanly.' Perhaps he feels that you don't respect, admire, or trust him and he gets upset. It's difficult for some men to realize that their woman is just as capable and intelligent to run the business because all the man 'hears' is that you aren't supporting him and agreeing with him, instead you are simply having your own opinion. But that's not what he hears. He needs your admiration and respect in order for him to feel better and then perhaps he will change his attitude.

Answer 8

precise is sweet, i myself trust oprah on the college in Africa. Oprah had skilled fairly some actual racism turning out to be up. you could seek for youtube clips of it. human beings calling her on an identical time as she became into ON her tutor and telling her she became into an inferior monkey. Oprah is an somewhat good lady and Africa desires as lots help because it may get. they are too stupid to assist themselves.

Answer 9

i don't think you need a divorce. I think yall shouldn't do business together.