Can you write a funny story with these words/lines in any order ? (just 4 fun..NOT H.W.!! LOL!!)?

Question

Mensa
primordial soup
skillet
Holy Mackerel
blancmange
bismark
Peach Melba
plethora


So I'm hungry..what of it???

BA is looking impossible to me on this one!

Answer 1

Peach Melba had been the cook for the Church of the Holy Mackerel since she couldn't remember when.

"I think I've been working here since man crawled out of the primordial soup," she sighed to herself as she slung some more hash from the hot skillet onto a waiting plate.

"If I hadn't confused Mensa with menses on my application form for ambassador to England, I'd be dining on blancmange right now and having high-brow discussions with the Queen about Kaiser Wilhelm and the Bismark."

Ms. Melba stood reflectively with one hand on her hip, holding the big spatula in her other hand like a scepter.

"Instead, I'm in this stinking church basement cooking for a bunch of dried up nuns. And Sister Mary Plethora is the worst....."

Answer 2

Ever since the first creatures climbed out of the primordial soup there have been written a plethora of articles in renowned and respected Psychological journals regarding the link between the mind and the stomach. Now a Mensa alumnus has created a cookbook called “G is for Gastronomy and Genii” which mixes the two forms. The juxtaposition of the writer’s theories encompasses the question “can a cook think and can a thinker cook?”
Further sub-questions are raised including “how did the creators of the Peach Melba and the Blancmange know when to stop adding ingredients?” Was it a tested theorem or a hit and miss guesstimation in the creation of these 2 puzzling dishes? Did the humble skillet precede the pots and pans as we know them today or is it a modern creation? So many previously unanswered questions appear under the microscope in this excellent book.
Historical conundrums are examined and ancient terms explained. This book looks at a humble fish and tells us the history of it’s religious symbolism in Central European countries and it metamorphosis into the term we use today “Holy Mackerel”.
In part 3 called “Vessels, Visitors and Vassals” the tradition foods served aboard ships such as the early slave traders from Africa to America, the Bismark, the Titanic and the QE2 are examined in depth to answer the question “does dining on a ship dull the mental agility of passengers and cause them to overspend on shore visits?”
A challenging tome for any thinker and cook alike.
It’s available from Monday from Mensa or leading booksellers and selected restaurants.

Answer 3

"There are Mensa and there are Womensa", said Vittorio, the chef at The Primordial Soup Kitchen, at Lexington and Center Streets in downtown Phalderal, Tennessee. While sauteeing some greens in a skillet, he was talking with Herbie Zebulon, his sous chef, in training. Herbie was an orphan and he had come to Vittorio to learn about the birds and the bees, as well as, about cooking. Ginny Stompanato was the owner of the restaurant and she was the one responsible for the name of the place and for the names of the entrees, such as the dish she called, Holy Mackeral Bouillabaise. They had some great desserts there and Ginny, with the help of her two employees, was trying to come up with more wild names for them. So far, the Blancmange was going to called Creamony, the Bismark got the name Air Biscuit and the Peach Melba would be known as Peachy Keen. There was a plethora of other dishes that needed naming and after his talk with the chef, Herbie wanted desperately to name something Adam's Apple.
C. :)!!

Answer 4

The local chapter of the (1) Mensa were having their weekly meeting, this time in the basement of the local fish market. The first order of business was to discuss the meal they had ingested at the last meeting which was held at Sister Mary Margaret Magdelinski's home. The (2) primodial soup she had served had caused severe lower intestine complications to several of the priesthood.
Sister Mary Margaret Magdelinski :"I swear by my unmanicured nails that I did NOT do anything wrong. It might have been the work of that new priest from Italy. He was also in the kitchen that night.......I have always suspected that damn "Wop" to be dangerous! I thought I saw rodent entrails in the (3) skillet!"
She did 5 Hail Mary's as her penance for swearing and sat
down quietly.
Father Kevin O' Scalawag:"(4) Holy Mackerel !! I THOUGHT I saw remnants of a tail in my bowl!!"
Sister Silva St. Sister then walked into the main room, having been to the kitchen........"Why must we have racists among us?"
Father Kevin: "Huh? What are you talking about, Sister St. Sister?!" Under his breath...."She ALWAYS gets things fouled up!"
Sister Silva St. Sister :" What I mean is.... Our entire repast is (5) blancmange. Everything is white, GET IT?! WHITE! NO OTHER COLOR........BLANCMANGE !!"
Father Kevin:"Yes! Yes! We GET IT !! It so happens we are having Communion and we needed white bread, you idiot!"
Sister Silva St. Sister: "Ooops! My bad."
All was quiet.......Until a "Nun -To-Be" by the name of Sunshine MacGillicutty waltzed into the room singing that old Johnny Horton classic, ♫ "We have to sink the (6) Bismark (bismarck ) to the bottom of the sea,♫" while eating a bowl of
(7) peach melba that had a (8) plethora of chocolate covered raisins.
Mother Superior Teresa Mary Joseph tapped her foot, looked at her watch and glared at the Nun wanna-be.

Sunshine abruptly stopped and looked at all the angry faces......." So I'm hungry..what of it??? ....Jesus !"

Answer 5

Holy Mackeral Silva, I'm with Star City Girl. Can't you find some food and words we could chew and digest on ourselves? Mostly they are too big of a mouthful, except the Peach Melba. That sounds good.
Enjoy your stories. The second one was cute.

Answer 6

Once upon a time, four members of Mensa decided that though they'd had a plethora of different foods, they needed more. So they consulted the Holy Mackerel in the temple.

"Great Holy Mackerel! Tell us what foods we need to eat to become the most well-fed among our people!"

The Great holy Mackerel boomed lusciously, "I SAY UNTO THEE, YOU MUST NOT EAT FISH. CHOOSE INSTEAD A VARIETY OF DESSERTS, SUCH AS THE BLANCMANGE, OR PEACH MELBA. WHEN YOU'RE FINISHED, TAKE THE REMAINS AND CRUMBS TO THE DECK OF THE HISTORIC S.S. BISMARCK AND HAND THEM TO THE DEAD CAPTAIN JIMMY JAM! DO IT NOW!"

Leaving immediately, the men went to do as they were instructed. After finding and eating the desserts, they went to the Dead Captain Jimmy Jam, and asked him what to do next.

But the Dead Captain Jimmy Jam did not answer... for he was really, REALLY dead.

So instead, the men went back home, unfulfilled, and had some Campbell's Primordial Soup with oyster crackers.

The End? (Dramatic outro music)

Hope you like it, lol.

Answer 7

Out of the PRIMORDIAL soup in an area near what is now BISMARK, North Dakota, Og and his friend Uga, the most intelligent cavemen on earth and probably the original members of MENSA, pulled a strange species of animal from the water while seeking food one day.

Being the only two people in the world at that time who had any thought of exploring, they has seen a PLETHORA of animals, but never anything like this. It resembled some of the creatures they had pulled from the water before but those were all much smaller than this. Og was so taken aback he remarked, "Ugha smooly ram a lama ding dong" which archeologists and linguists now agree should be interpreted as "HOLY MACKEREL." Indeed the creature itself is now known as a mackerel and grows up to 66 inches in length.

Taking their prize back to their cave, they decided it would make a great feast for their tribe. They were probably the first gourmands and took great pride in displaying their cooking ability to the rest of the tribe who simply thought they were weird but were glad to be fed anything as they were to dumb to figure out how to catch or find any food. Many of their descendents now eat only at McDonalds.

Having already discovered "babooma juice" (now known as milk) and sweet substances resembling sugar, they had already invented several dishes. Mixing milk and sugar with almonds and chicken, they had invented a snack type food resembling the BLANCMANGE discovered in the middle ages. They sometimes used this as an appetizer for feasts though it was generally used to treat illness.

Living in the far north, the milk they gathered had occassionally frozen. They found mixing sugar with it made for a tasty treat resembling ice cream of today, but with many less flavors. They mixed ice cream with berries and other fruits to make a tasty dishes they served following the main meal. This was the first recorded use of desserts. While they may not have been as tasty as PEACH MELBA, they were quite advanced dishes for those times. Of course, the lack of refrigeration except in the coldest times of the year, meant these were not served to often.

Og and Uga had also invented several utensils to cook with. Quite by accident, they learned that meat heated with fire usually tasted better than food eaten on the hoof, when a huge chunk of brotosaurus fell in their fire one day while the tribe tore at it with their teeth.

Experimenting on ways to accomplish preparing meat this way all the time, they discovered early on holding it over the fire with bare hands was not a pleasant experience. They ultimately invented SKILLET like tools to hold food as it was cooked which led to the first neighborhood barbecues ever recorded.

On this occassion, they filleted and cooked the huge fish in the largest skillet they had while everyone stood around the huge fire having some of the prehistoric version of BLANCMANGE as they waited for the main meal.

Afterwords they all sat outside in the cold enjoying their desserts while watching real Lions and Bears battling in the valley below. The battle lasted nearly 3 hours by which time the tribe members were all full and had fallen asleep.

This was of course the precursor of the traditional US winter weekend sports gathering.

Answer 8

Holy mackerel, I would but I don't even know what most of those words mean!!!