I have a question about my husband's personal hygiene?

Question

Before we got maried he showered everyday, brushed his teeth, and was generally clean. We have only been married 4 months and ever since he has become disgusting! I mean he won't shower for days! He never brushes his teeth! His breath will wake me out of a dead sleep! I am not kidding! I have asked him, begged him but he he always has an excuse, like he is too tired. He smoked when I first meet him and I thought that would be the main disgusting thing, but this it killing me. I have with held sex, food, and scream and yelled till he took a shower. I know this sounds extreme but I am at my wits end. I love him so much, I just want the clean man I marred back! If anyone has any ideas please help!

Answer 1

With-holding and nagging seldom help change any behavior, he is just tuning you out. Obviously he just got too comfortable with your situation, and reverted to the lazy habits he had prior to marriage. He was on his best behavior before and now sees no reason to continue since you are "his".
Most of us wonder why anyone would prefer to be dirty and smelly, it is mystifying. It seems as if he would want to clean up so that you would find him desirable.
I think a serious talk are in order. Tell him calmly that you prefer the level of cleanliness he maintained prior to marriage, and ask him why he has changed. If he can't or won't give an answer, tell him that you just can't seem to accept the changes, you feel hurt that it shows a lack of respect for your feelings or that he no longer wants to maintain the physical attraction between the two of you. etc.
If he won't budge, and you just can't stand it, move into another room and tell him that you are going to do some soul searching about what you can live with...and ask him to do the same. Sometimes a very calm "I am going to do what is best for me" change of approach can shock someone into the belief that you are going to do something drastic, like leave!

Answer 2

without knowin a little bit more about him, it's hard to say.

Does he have a job? Generally people with a job tend to ensure they are presentable...even auto mechanics or factory workers take showers regularly. People also generally brush their teeth at least once a day...

If your husband has suddenly started neglecting himself and his personal hygiene, you might want to look further at the cause of it. Was he a slob before you met him? Ask his family if he has any relatives around. If he was 'normal' before you met him, and while you were dating, then you have to find out what is causing this sudden change. Bottom line, if he doesn't care enough for himself to take care of himself, he isn't going to care for you or for the marriage either. It might be time to kick him out and move on. Try a trial move out...and find out what is causing this...it could be drugs.

This is all assuming that your side is 'reasonable' and you're not an anal retentive clean freak that has to wash hands 25 times a day and brush teeth 50 times a day.

Not showering for days or ever brushing teeth is pretty disgusting

Answer 3

Does he show little interest in the things that he used to enjoy, and generally seem hopeless and unhappy? Sometimes people let their personal hygiene go when they're depressed. If that's the case, maybe he should get counselling & try medication.
Also, isn't not showering a problem in his workplace? Or is he unemployed?

Answer 4

is your husband homeless? employed? albanian?
if not, then there is no excuse. make sure you have mouth wash hidden all over the house, little bottles. the fact that it is constantly around, and you have a terrible reaction to his stank breath, motive and opportunity will come together and he'll have fresher breath.. not just mouth wash, mints, everything. flood the house with it.

also, I've read that the faint odor of citrus will subliminally interact with a person's subconscious desire to be clean. but he can't be aware of it, or it won't work!

this may sound crazy, but some people like their own smell, no matter how rotten it may smell to you. make him lick his hand and smell the spot he licked, ask him what he thinks of that smell... it is a true thing that each man enjoys the smell of his own farts. it may not be a stretch to say that he also likes the smell of his own sweaty pits.

Answer 5

for some reason men don't like to shower or take care of all their hygiene ...the only way I could make my man shower is to not have sex. Any other problem I might have. I just nag him all day until he do it rather it's brush his teeth, shave, take a bath, wipe his azz(<-- no i'm kidding on this one)..lol...but serious just nag him ...I've been married for 2 years now and I'm 23 he is 29 and he still does sometime.

Trust me it's not just your man

Answer 6

typical man pretends to be something he is not in the beginning of the relationship, of course he seemed clean when you dated he was trying to make a good impression, that didn't mean he kept a good hygiene.

and beside that time, he was use to being dirty who knows for how long so its a hard to break a bad habit.

Honestly i don't think hes going to change.

Santa will bring you a clean Hubby for Christmas

Answer 7

Tell him since he refuses to brush his teeth, tell him you're going to use his toothbrush to scrub the rim of the toilet cause that would smell better than his breath, and don't feel ashamed to tell everyone about it. Then maybe he'llclean his dirty @ss up. Get him soap and toothpaste and deodorant for X-mas.

Answer 8

Bad hygiene is a sign of a mental problem..He should talk to someone. I bet theirs more going on with his personalty then your saying. But as a quick fix for you . you can get into the shower and call him in their with you.and you guys can wash each other. but you should have him talk with someone
good luck

Answer 9

Ewwww. If you have to do all that to get him to shower you are not his wife you are his mother. See if it's grounds for annullment. Do not have kids with him, you so not want this man to be their father figure, you don't want to have to parent your husband along with your kids and heaven forbid it's ever up to him to get the kids bathed and their teeth brushed.

Answer 10

I agree with Wise that's sooooooooo gross! I had and ex like that before. He was super ugly but dressed and smelled like heaven it's self. After we got together he stopped. That's why he's an EX! Good luck.