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We've only been married a month and we have been fighting like cats and dogs ever since! I can't stand the way he is behaving. We both said that we want to divorce and get this over with....Are we being to harsh or should with just end this?

We dated 9 years prior to the wedding (and lived together for 5). I just don't want to be miserable....Life's too short.

2007-12-01 05:37:55 · 28 answers · asked by NoTurningBackNow 5 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

He has just been terrible and nasty.... Very mean spirited and I don't need it.

2007-12-01 05:40:39 · update #1

I do love him..... but I also respect myself and am not willing to allow someone to speak to me so nasty and hold this negative umbrella over our lives. That's so way to live.

2007-12-01 05:43:57 · update #2

28 answers

Oh yes and 7 years later think about it monthly! Our first month together was rough! He didnt expect things to change since we had already been dating for so long and had already lived together but I wanted our lives to take a different direction. Dont worry it should get better soon. Relax and breathe. Do you have kids? We had a daughter about 4 years ago and that totally changed the dynamics! I hope the best for you and you are right life is too short to be miserable. I hope you make the decision that is right for you.

2007-12-01 05:42:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

You need to examine why it is that you're fighting. The first five years of marriage are truly the hardest but it's because you've joined your lives together. In your case, you have already, in essence, joined your lives together though. What you have to analyze is what has changed since you said I do.

Some might say to do what makes YOU happy. But this is not the point of marriage. The point is to be in a partnership and do what makes you both happy.

You have to ask yourself if the situation that you're currently facing existed before. If it did, perhaps right now you just feel trapped because of all the negative things that people say about marriage. If what you're experiencing is something completely new, then you have determine what has caused it. It just doesn't make sense that something is wrong now and it wasn't before, especially given the length of time that you have been together. Then again, if the both of you are feeling pressure because you got married, then discuss it and be patient with each other. However, if there is a abuse, then you have to go.

2007-12-01 05:43:31 · answer #2 · answered by c d 3 · 1 0

Take some time and both try your best to give in a little to the others demands or complaints. There's a lot of stress that is falling down on you right after getting married. I am not saying that you have to put up with it the rest of your lives, but at least give it time to work before you just give up. If in six months, you both agree that you don't belong together, then start to think about something more serious and permanent. Almost all marriages start of rocky, but with patience and love, most problems can be worked out.

2007-12-01 05:46:04 · answer #3 · answered by joycolson 2 · 0 0

My husband filed for divorce less than 3 months of being married, we ended up not divorcing then having another child, 5 years later we are divorcing again this time we are going thru with it our divorce will be final within 20 days. We lived together for 9 years before getting married and had 2 kids prior one would have thought it would have lasted.

2007-12-01 06:45:20 · answer #4 · answered by rhonda c 2 · 0 0

It would be interesting to discover how you were happy enough with each other for 14 years to get married and then suddenly become miserable right after getting married! If you had just met recently, I would say, give it up...but you have invested a lot of your life for a reason. Try to find that reason together! Make a list for each other of the five things you each like most about each other and focus on those things! Good luck!

2007-12-01 05:44:37 · answer #5 · answered by truthisparadox 2 · 0 0

Well you either fought like this before marrying and ignored the warning signs, or he wanted to live in a non committal shack up relationship forever with the option of bailing anytime he wants,and felt badgered into marrying you which would explain the resentment.
Give him the divorce.Most shacks up divorce anyway if they ever marry because usually at least one of them had no intentions of ever marrying the other.Learn from your mistake,date a guy for a yr or so and then marry,no more shacking.
One other option is marriage counseling if you want to do the right thing, but chances are he doesn't want to be committed to you.

2007-12-01 05:54:51 · answer #6 · answered by Joe F 7 · 1 0

If he's worth it to you, then consider a counselor. My gf got married to a guy that everyone hated. The day of her wedding, we were standing in the back of the church getting ready to walk out, the guys were already on the alter. Her mom reached over and closed the door and said, "If you don't want to do this, no one will be mad. I'll take care of things here, we'll all pile in the limo, go to the hall and have one hell of a party." My friend got mad and opened the door. 3 weeks later they were legally separated. Luckily no kids, so the divorce went fast. Either way. It happens. Do what you have to do.

2007-12-01 05:46:30 · answer #7 · answered by skrzych 2 · 0 0

Maybe its just the marriage thing thats getting to you.
If you were happy for nine years, its probably a bit harsh to end it because of a month of stress. Was all of the wedding stuff stressful? Are you both realizing that youve signed on for a lifelong relationship? I know everyone wants to be happy dandy as soon as they get married, but once youve known each other that long, youre comfortable enough to take stress out on each other. Id wait it out a little longer and most importantly, display your love for one another. You might realize that nine years of invested love is worth more to you than some fueled frustration.

2007-12-01 05:45:20 · answer #8 · answered by Melody 2 · 0 0

Honey I've been married for 35 years and the hardest year by far was the first one. We dated four and a half years before we married. It is so hard because you're seeing each other without the rose colored glasses on. Hang in there and you'll both learn to tolerate each other. I always laugh and tell my friends that my husband has said he wanted a divorce everyday for 35 years and has never followed through.

2007-12-01 05:44:41 · answer #9 · answered by Pearl 6 · 0 0

my friend got married in march, divorced in may. conceived baby with ex in Aug. and now they are getting married again. Just be sure a divorce is what you want first. communication is the key to all relationships. talk openly about everything little thing. if you even think about farting he needs to know. being that open with each other will help stop a fight waay before it happens.

2007-12-01 05:41:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

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