Lately my husband wont touch me any more when we go to bed. Every thing else is the same, we talk the same act the same. He says that there is nothing wrong, and before you say it he is not having an affair he does not have the time due to working in his vineyard all day.Help!
2007-12-01 01:43:18 · 25 answers · asked by wildcougar33 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My husband is 23yrs old we have a 18month old.
2007-12-01 15:47:19 · update #1
Well there could be a lot of answers as to why.
Well if he is working all the time, he could be tired, or it could be a medical reason as to why. When men stress to often then they tend to lose there sex drive. You say that he is working all the time and nothing has changed between you two. Men seem to not want to talk to their wives about their sexual probelms, So don't push him. Slowly talk with him about what is going on. You need to let him know and understand that you think that it is you. I am a female and I have felt them same exact way as you do right now. But you need to let him know how you feel. If you don't then you will never get this resolved. Yes I agree he needs to be open with you and let you know what is going on and as to why this is happening.
Ask him straight up. If you turn him on anymore?
You need to ask him as to why and tell him to be straight up with you and don't candy coat it. Prepare yourself for the answer. But open communication is a must in any relationship or marriage. I could be nothing major. But to feel the void in your mind you need to ask him what is going on??? Go to him and ask him to be straight up and honest with you...There has to be a reason? So go and ask him? He is the only one who can asnwer your question....
2007-12-01 01:56:12 · answer #1 · answered by Jody W 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Suggest to your husband that you both get away for a vacation together. Maybe you both need some time to reconnect.
Talk to him, tell him that you are concerned and miss his affection. Suggest getting some counseling. Don't ignore the problem. DO something now before it gets to a critical point and one of you does cheat. Work on meeting each other's emotional needs better, that includes yours also.
I suggest this book: "Fall in Love, Stay in Love" by Dr. H. Harley.
Don't fool yourself that someone cannot make time for an affair if they want to. I hope that is not the case, but it can even be an emotional attachment that takes energy from your relationship. There are plenty of women who will do them for a quicky over a break if they think it will get them what they want. The most likely person for a spouse to have an affair with is either a coworker or a friend of yours. A change in your physical relationship, more or less, sometimes can be a sign that emotional, physical energy is being taken from the relationship,,but that's not the only reason.
Is he have an medical conditions or medications that might be affecting his drive? Is he having other problems, such as financial or business problems that might be affecting him?
Many men will deny things like this, as it is an ego blow for them to admit.
2007-12-01 03:51:02 · answer #2 · answered by joyh 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sure your husband still loves you he is probably just very tired as you say he is busy all day in his vineyard. Maybe you should approach him on how it makes you feel to see what he is feeling. My husband was the same way when he was working a lot of overtime and once he slowed down everything fell back into place. Just keep your head up and be there for him. Good Luck hun.
2007-12-01 01:47:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't sound good for sure. I have to go with Male menopause idea. I do believe guys get very weird between 40'ish and 50ish. Hopefully he will reveal his discontent and work through his problems without causing too much damage and instability in the marriage. I really think men should be on antidepressants, tranquilisers and counselling during that time of their life. They can do irreparable damage to their relationships otherwise. Men may be from mars but they sure act like aliens at that time in their life. Some worse than others. Hopefully this storm will blow over for you in time. If it is not his usual pattern since you met him then you have a better chance of getting through this. Good luck to you. I hope it all works out well for you. God bless.
2007-12-01 02:35:21 · answer #4 · answered by haditforgood 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is working all day outdoors then he could just be exhausted. Most people, especially those who are married, go through periods where they are not all that interested in having sex because they have a lot of other things going on. As long as everything else seems the same I would figure he is just going through a low libido period. Maybe try initiating things and see if he responds...could be he just wants you to make the first move if that is something you don't typically do.
2007-12-01 01:51:04 · answer #5 · answered by Bears Mom 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Usually when a guy does not touch you anymore an affair is one of the reasons. There are other reasons like stress, low sex drive. are you with him in his vineyard all day?????????
My ex husband did the same and I found out he had an emotional affair with his secretary. Once it ended she moved right in. He was at work all day too.
2007-12-01 01:47:56 · answer #6 · answered by Babe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not saying he is having an affair however, trust me on one thing, EVERYONE can make time to have an affair. He probably isnt. Sit him done, tell him how much you love him, that you are concerned about this change in behavior and want to know why. Be nice and understanding and if he is a decent guy, he will appreciate it.
2007-12-01 01:59:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you just have a baby? Is your husband 40 ish, these things can contribute to weird man behavior.... I don't care what people say men still have menopause...... Be patient, I'm sure hes still in love with you but something else may be on his mind at night, and night is the only time he can slow down and think about it..... My husband went on antidepressants after driving me crazy for over a year like that.
GOOD LUCK and hang in there.
2007-12-01 01:48:07 · answer #8 · answered by rgs3girls 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If no affair than you are turning him off for some reason what has changed your appearance/ETC>Lost interest>Who works with him in the vineyard??
2007-12-01 03:28:17 · answer #9 · answered by 45 auto 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this may be what you don't want to hear but, my friend husband worked all the time and well she said he wont cheat on me he works to much guess what she caught him in his car at work with another lady. the best thing to do in any marriage is spy a little it wont hurt at all and if he is a good boy then he is just tired but, if you find him making out with a lady then i was right and get a divorce...good luck....oh my ex cheated on me and i thought he did not have time too....find out check cell phone, go to work and not let him see ya. you may find answers that way..but by setting at home saying he don't have time and all is not the right way about it.
2007-12-01 02:32:04 · answer #10 · answered by daisy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋