Found out I was preg. on Oct 5. Immediatly my BF(hes 18 too) wanted me to keep it. So we talked & decided it was the right thing. We r scared though & on top of everything my family hates him. (I was raised by women, no father figure & all the women have been beaten by their past husbands.) which is where I think it comes from, because to me my BF is perfect. He was always ther for me even when we werent dating (been dating for a year) & is with me every day&night. He goes to all the appts. & is very supportive. We both go to school &work, he has a good county job with benefits for him & our baby & gets 3 months paid leave once the baby comes. We are moving in together in feb. (due date is June 5th) & he talks about getting married. I know hes committed but sometimes the pressure from my family makes me wonder if he will always be this way. My fam tells me after the baby comes everything will be diff. & i will see his true side. I just pray they are wrong..any advice?
2007-12-01 01:22:38 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
You're the one that will have to live with this person! I would say if you love him go for it. :--#)
2007-12-01 01:26:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋
I knew this girl that had a baby just last year at the age of 18, and i know another girl whos 18 due next year in august or something. At this point i thing that your parents are just scared that their little girl is gonna be a mom now and they think that ur not ready, and dont want to blame it on u so they decide to hate ur boyfriend instead to get out thier frustration. Let them know how much u and your bf are in love and that u both r very excited for the baby to come. Things should get better once the baby is out of u and is being loved on by ur bf. Then hopefully ur parents will see the love in him. Hope everything turns out right! May God be wit u!
2007-12-01 01:37:17 · answer #2 · answered by second life attick 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first off congratulations on your bundle of joy to come. As for your situation, I think him putting the effort to want to be there is great and that's a lot more than most young men are doing these days. I think you should give it a shot. Sure he could change after the baby comes but you won't know unless your there to see for yourself. There's no doubt that having a baby will bring some stress but not anything that yall can't overcome. Stick with what your doing and everything should be fine and if it doesn't work for some reason at least you can't say you didn't try. Good Luck!
2007-12-01 01:33:18 · answer #3 · answered by ♥ღ TravelGirl ღ♥ 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, if your anything like me you'll just learn it all the hard way. I don't know your family. But w/ my family i have learned from lots of experience that they are usually right. But if your family consists of scorned women then maybe they aren't capable of seeing any good in any man. Either way, as long as your b/f is willing right now, let him. If he chooses to "show his colors" later on, so be it. There is nothing you can do about that. All you can do is take things from day to day and hope for the best. At least you can give your baby tons of love no matter what. It would just be nice if your family would try and support you. My family always does. They bite their tongues if they're not happy just to keep the peace. Good luck w/ everything. BTW ~ We're due w/in 2 weeks of each other.
2007-12-01 01:31:29 · answer #4 · answered by h_e_r_a_80 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They are giving you what they think is good advice based on their histories. But not every man is the same. They have good intentions and you cant make them like him, but if you love your bf and want to be with him and raise this baby with him, then dont heed their advice. They may be right and they may be wrong. It all depends on what kind of man he is. He sounds like a good one.
I have to agree with them that having a baby changes things but sometimes things change for the better. When I got pregnant, it actually just made me and my fiance closer. And once she was born, that connection was strengthened. We had a baby that we had created together. We both seem a lot happier since she was born too (albeit a lot more tired-shes 2 and VERY active!) because what can make you more happy than a beautiful smiling child!?
2007-12-01 01:34:08 · answer #5 · answered by Amanda 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its tough. I have been there before with my wife. We were really young and her family was telling her the same things about me and even suggested that she have an abortion. Im sure my 11 year old is thankful we made the right decision. I cant speak about what your boyfriend will or wont do because I dont know him. You have to be the judge of that and it is your decision not your family's. It will be rough at times but if your family really loves you and Im sure they do they will be there to support you and may even support your boyfriend someday. It took me almost 10 years to win over my in-laws trust and support. I wont promise you that there wont be some rough times cause there will but you seem like a smart kid so trust yourself and everything will be ok.
2007-12-01 01:32:19 · answer #6 · answered by JSweed 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be good to yourself. If he's good to you then there's no reason why you shouldn't give him a chance especially since you have a baby on the way. When and if he stops being good to you and good for you then get out fast. Always be smart follow the same advice you would give a loved one. If he's as good as you think and you guys make it work, your family will eventually come around. Good luck to all of you especially your baby.
2007-12-01 01:34:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go with your gut. And be glad he is there for you. If he is alright to you and for you then good-o. Once the baby is born there might be some faustration, but that comes with it most of the time.
I am 18 and I m going to be a single mother. I am not going to have the father involved at all. Just be happy you are lucky enough to have someone there for you.
2007-12-01 01:50:31 · answer #8 · answered by LeoJames8-1-08 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i also got pregnant at 18. im 19 now. i understand your family's fears for you, but all you can do is listen to your heart. i moved in with my fiance and had to move out a few months later because of financial difficulties. our problems only started after we were seperated. presently we are working things out. my family cant stand him either, but only you know your relationship with him, through and through. dont let anyone's past mistakes keep you from enjoying your life and obtaining happiness. there's always a risk in opening your heart to someone. but sometimes, even if it doesnt work out, its worth it. everything is a learning experience, and i wouldnt be the person i am today without a little heartache. anyway, as with the precious little one- Jada (my daughter) is the love of my life, and i wouldnt trade having her for anything in the world.
2007-12-01 01:38:28 · answer #9 · answered by Jada and Ty's mommy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since i do not personally know your bf or family so i'm going to go on worst case senario...
You MUST be able to maintain your child on your own. Without help from your bf/husband or family. Then only your child's future is secure. So no matter what ( i pray that everything will be well) you and your child will not suffer.
2007-12-01 01:35:38 · answer #10 · answered by jasmine 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust your instinct. If he hasn't failed you this far, have faith in him. I'm not saying it will all be rosey, its tough adjusting to a new baby. You family seems to have men issues, its hard for them to accept that you actually may have found a great one. Its seems like you two are ready and preparing the best you can for the new baby. I commend you both for steping up to be stable parents to the baby. I wish you luck. as far as your family, they dont seem like they will change, so you guys just need to stay strong in your commitment to each other and the baby, and if you need to for sanity, try to distance yourself from your family. Family is suppose to be supportive and caring and understanding, which you dont seem to be getting from them. Good luck. and congrats. you can do it!
2007-12-01 01:38:36 · answer #11 · answered by SueWithTwo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋