My boyfriend and I have recently had a baby, and we are saving up money so we moved in with his parents, well.. I loved his mom until the baby arrived, i found a TOTALLY new side of her ive never seen before! My boyfriend has a sister and his mom is OBSESSED with our baby wearing HER old outfits. i bought my baby a costume for halloween, and his mom put my baby in his sisters costume from when she was a baby. i brushed it off, but then for christmas i bought my daughter a christmas dress and a babys first christmas bib, and once again his mom pulls out his sisters dress and bib, am i being selfish? i feel like this is MY baby, not his sisters, and she should be wearing my old stuff! pllzzzzzzzz help!
2007-11-30 23:44:57 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
Tell her to back off [not in those words] but don't completely exclude her it's a long time since she had the chance to mother someone. Just say you'd like to dress her in your clothes for photographs.
2007-11-30 23:49:32 · answer #1 · answered by Chrissie 2 · 6⤊ 0⤋
I would first sit my son, dad, and mother in law down. I would let your son address the issues (if he is old enough) and how it make him feel when this happens. I would then let them both know how much this hurts him. If the mother in law doesn't stop the then, I wouldn't allow my son around her alone. And all fairness being a mother to a son....or vice versa. We tend to over protect and but in when not needed. Just look at the situation has you will be in the same situation and maybe another 10 -15 years.
2016-05-27 02:19:35 · answer #2 · answered by shannon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mom did the same thing. When my baby was born (her first grandchild and only grandchild so far) she pulled out all these clothes that she had from when me and my sibs were babies. She gave them to me and expected me to use them like all the time. A lot of them were old, small, and kind of ugly to tell the truth (fashions have changed, even for babies). Id put her in those clothes when we went to visit her though. Since you're living with your mil, Id just let her put the baby in the older clothes when you are at home, and insist on putting her in something new when you go out or for holidays. If its for pictures, tell your mil you'd really like your daughter to be in something brand new so the pictures will come out as nice as possible.
My daughters 2 now and my mom is still obsessed with putting her in our old clothes. Whenever she babysits, I'll bring my daughter to my moms house in her own clothes, and I'll always find her in some other outfit when I get back. Its annoying but you got to take the good with the bad. It could be MUCH MUCH worse (at least you dont have a sister in law thats trying to teach her swear words!!!).
2007-12-01 01:12:18 · answer #3 · answered by Amanda 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would be very care full on how you talk to her especially in your position. Since you are not related to her she has no obligation to have you live in her home. Best thing for you and her wonder full son to do is move out and get your own place maybe he can get a second job. This way she will no longer annoy you by wanting to put an old outfit on the baby.
2007-12-04 05:22:26 · answer #4 · answered by Kat G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd talk to your BF about it. As much as i know that it is her grandchild.. its YOUR baby. I know how it feels to have a 'powerhungry' mother in law. I love her dont get me wrong.. but she seems to have to have everything her way. If she puts something on yer baby.. just take her to your room and change her. When she asks.. just say that that wasnt what you planned on her wearing. My MIL TOLD me what my son (4 months) should wear too thanksgiving.. i just didnt put it on him.. hehe Mean.. probably but its MY son not hers. Shes one of those ppl that even went out and got the SAME 4th of July T-shirts for ALL the family to wear on the 4th. lol Funny enough the hubby and I (plus my brother (15)) didnt wear it. I hate ppl telling me what to wear. And actually if you look into it.. you might want to check how old those clothes are anyways.. baby close nowaday are made flameretardent..etc.. something that wasnt done back when like i was a baby and im only 26.. so it wasnt THAT long ago. Anyways i suggest talking to you BF about it.. and if nothing changes.. Leave if you can.. That kind of stress if not good for you OR baby!
2007-12-01 00:30:30 · answer #5 · answered by alysza81 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I have the same problem, put your foot down and tell her "you raised your baby, now let me raise mine!" Do not let her try to control you, your boyfriend, an especially not your child. I won't take my baby on long trips, and his mother kept saying that is ridiculous she had (my husband) on a plane at 6 weeks! I said well, that was him, THIS is MY baby and that is NOT going to happen! Good Luck! She backed off.
2007-12-01 04:57:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh how irrititating! Maybe you should just mention it to her next time. " You know, I think those outfits are really cute and I appreciate that you got good use of them, but I would prefer that the baby wear this out fit". If that doesn't work, it's really up to your boyfriend to talk to her seriously about it. You are the mother and she should feel blessed to have you so close but it probably makes it hard for her to take a step back. I would talk to your boyfriend about it and ask him to discuss it with her. He should agree with your stand point and approach her from a " couples" stand point, not that YOU are the one that's irritated.
I hope this helps!
2007-11-30 23:50:54 · answer #7 · answered by Pedsgurl 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
A friend of mine is going through almost the same EXACT thing. You just have to stand your ground and politely tell her that you don't mean to be rude, but one of the fun parts of being a mother is dressing your child the way you want to. If she is taking the child out, let her dress her up the way she wants... but while she is with you, she is going to be dressed the way you want her to be. Tell her that it isn't that you are unappreciative, but you don't want to regret not being able to put your child in the outfits of your choice, especially for special occasions and pictures.
2007-11-30 23:54:20 · answer #8 · answered by Holy Macaroni! 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tricky situation given you live in her house, but she sounds just very excited with the baby and wanting to dress her like she did her kids. Try kindly telling her that you would like to dress your child in things you have for her and sometimes make her happy and dress your baby up in something that your mother in law has. That would make her feel good and help ease any hurt feelings she might have.
2007-12-01 00:24:42 · answer #9 · answered by Bears Mom 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Be kind... she is doing this out of love. She is WRONG to do it, but Grandmothers...me included...have this weird desire to see the things they 'saved' for their grandchildren USED. I had to bite my tongue and accept it when my daughter-in-law threw away all the handmade items...sweaters, jumpers, outfits, etc. It was hard, cause they were beautiful, classic items in perfect condition. It really hurt. BUT, this is HER son and I had to live with it. I still wish she had at least used them once before she threw them away...just one time. Guess the hurt is still there. I have never said anything to her and I won't...it's not my place. Gently tell her that you want to see your baby in the new things first...and if you can...use the saved things also. Good luck to you all! Hugs, Gina C.
2007-11-30 23:56:06 · answer #10 · answered by Gina C 6 · 4⤊ 1⤋