The relationship that took place 23years ago ended without abruptly without closure. His family decided to move in the middle of the school year. We both were devasted by the sudden news that by the end of the week he would be gone.
We parted with these words, "if it was meant to be, we will find each other again one day." Well guess what, we did last year. He was in the middle of finalizing custody issues with his recently divorced wife. I myself have been married 2x's and at the brink of divorce with this second marriage of10 years. He has 4 kids and is a very devoted father(he has custody), He's a bit camera shy so to speak with relationships, given his recently devorced status. Is it fate, that after all this time we found each other through the internet? Or is it coincidental?
We both acknowledge we have wakened past feelings for one another, I'm just not sure if persued that it would work out. It was High School after all, we were nothing but emotions and hormones.
2007-11-30 18:20:02 · 12 answers · asked by Musicmaiden4 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You should honor your wedding vows. The grass is not always greener as you have already found out.
2007-11-30 18:24:26 · answer #1 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
WOW! Sounds like you're my age or a a bit younger from the sound of your post, but girl, go for it!!! What have you got to lose? I tell ya now, if you don't you'll probably always wonder. You have made a pact with this man years ago and things have a way of happening. Remember, you may have been all emotions & hormones then, but now you're mature and experienced. no one is rushing you down the alter anytime soon and these kinda things don't happen every day You owe it to yourself to at least give it a go & find happiness:-) GOOD LUCK!
P.S. I am in an unhappy marriage and we have separate bedrooms. I have very strong morals as well, but I still hope to meet a good man I can be happy with, but until then, I'll stay separated from my soon to be ex and although I'm not out looking, if it comes my way, I'll check it out. I can't afford to move out and by law, neither of us have to. It is often advisable to remain under the same roof as your soon to be ex or even recent ex as a way to get sorted out and move out on your own. Of course, not all couples are civil and with good reason, but you need to get together and see. Like I said, what have you got to lose? I've been married 11 1/2 years and it was over long ago. I would not bring another guy home and never would, but hey, do you plan to remain alone after the divorce is final? At least you know this guy to some degree and I'd guess it would be safer than a stranger, but follow your heart. It looks like 2 broken hearts might end up growing together if you play your cards right;-)
"Life is Short.....Eat Dessert First."
"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, and today is a gift; that's why they call it the present."
2007-11-30 18:42:46 · answer #2 · answered by Cheripie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everything happens for a reason and the fact that the two of you met up again is fate.
There is nothing saying that the 2 of u cannot get together and date, however since there are kids involved you have to take it slow and not introduce each other to them. You also need to make sure that a divorce is something you definitely want and need to finalize before getting involved 100% with someone else, regardless of who he is. Both of you need to have a healing time from your previous relationships before getting into anything full-blown with each other. It may be that you are both lonely, vulnerable and looking for intimacy/companionship which may make you both more susceptible to rushing into things too quick. Take time.
2007-11-30 18:57:57 · answer #3 · answered by Azul 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A part of me always like to believe in fate and I try to avoid using coincidences as an actual answer. So, if I were in your shoes I would think it is more than mere coincidence.
Now the only real way to find out is to get together and take things slowly. If the relationship lasts, guess what? It was fate.
2007-11-30 18:26:25 · answer #4 · answered by Jurrassikk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IT depends - how was the relationship in highschool - how long were you together?
I was with my hs sweetheart for 2 years before he had to go off to college.. we didn't break up - just got busy in our lives-married others--but, we both thought of each other daily for 20 years..and we both knew what we needed to be happy in llife--
so, after 20 yrs we divorced our current spouses to be together--and it was the best thing we've ever done. no longer do we have to 'wish' to be together- we made it happen!
we loved each other - and we didn't want to live the rest of our lifes ..wishing...
so- follow your heart -
so, for me..i call it fate-- and bound to happen..i knew one day we would be back together - I just didn't think we could make it happen this soon - i thought it would be when our present spouses passed away or something ...because I guess I really didn't like the sound of divorce.. but, to me..divorce sounds better then unhappy.
no more wishing and wanting..i have exactly what I wanted.
2007-12-01 08:31:30 · answer #5 · answered by ★★★ Katharine ♥♥♥♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to meet up with him and go for it! Don't wast anymore time. It will be fun, new, and exciting. The most important thing though is if you do not see if things will work out with the two of you right now, you will regret it later, and always wonder "What if" and those "what if's" can be very troublesome to deal with. Go on and find out, what do you have to lose? BUT, I'm a little confused.............. are you still married? If you are, then you need to let the past go.
2007-11-30 18:25:18 · answer #6 · answered by Jacob's Mommy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're still married. There is a difference between feelings of love (that fluctuate) and love that is a choice and bonding commitment. That's what makes marriages stick during the times when you can't stand each other. You haven't had any adult problems with this guy and you are trying to leave your husband. What makes you think you will stay with him once those feelings of love diminish and life takes hold?
2007-11-30 18:30:01 · answer #7 · answered by haigazimo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
although the story is touching, you found eachother through interenet searches not divine intervention. but the fact that you were both looking for eachother says a lot. you will have to be the judge if this is really anything with meaning or not. my personal experience of my high school relationships is i would hope i never see those idiots again. so you will have to wait and see, good luck to you.
2007-11-30 18:26:48 · answer #8 · answered by Roxanne G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It was planned. By 2 desperate people. You sought each other out of insecurities failed marriages. Divorce numbers 2 and 3 coming up.
2007-11-30 18:25:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are both divorced, I say go for it. I married my first sweetheart after 13 years apart and we have been married for 30 years now (happily at that).:)
2007-11-30 18:25:45 · answer #10 · answered by Dyan 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋