My friend (Erika) is sleeping with another friends (Stacii) soon to be husband (Sean) and I feel so bad for knowing about it..I don't want to be caught in the middle and I think my friend (Erika) should tell what's been going on..What would you do?
2007-11-30 18:00:05 · 23 answers · asked by It wasn't me... 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well you know Erika is not going to tell. Maybe you should confront Sean...Why/how do you even know? You need to at least give Stacii a clue that Sean is no good for her. You shouldn't be caught in the middle in the first place. I would tell Stacii and be prepared to lose both Stacii and Erika as friends...As far as losing Erika...so what, she's not a real friend anyways, and with Stacii, you know they always shoot the messenger, but at least you will have done what is best.
It can almost be asked what kind of friend are YOU to know about this and NOT tell Stacii.
2007-11-30 18:14:20 · answer #1 · answered by Truth Hurts 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
This is a tough decision .
Ever heard the saying ,,, "kill the messenger" ??
It means .. the person who delivers the message - may get the bad part .. even though they are the innocent party.
Some people get mad at the person who tells them the truth. Other people will not get mad. Personally .. I would want to know .. and I would want the person to tell me the truth .. but not all people are that way,'
Erika .. should be the one to tell Stacii. And .. Stacii should know before she marries the rascal.
You would need to know the type of person Stacii is. Would she believe you ? .. what if, Sean denies it, and says you are lying? .. and then Stacii says you are lying?? What if, Erika believed them ,, and not you? OR .. would she get mad at you for simply telling her? ... OR .. would she get mad if you did NOT tell her .. and she married him?
Does Stacii have a brother or sister that you could talk to about it? OR .. do you have proof? Or .. are they still sleeping together .. and they could be caught? .. if so - don't alert them.
You have much to consider .. and you know the situation & the people.
If Erika .. and Sean .. is sleeping together now ... will they continue to sleep together after Sean is married?
Also -- what would happen if Stacii marries .. then finds out that you knew the truth the whole time?
You could be hurt both ways.
Do you think Stacii would want to know? Is there anyone who knows all the people in this situation .. that you could talk to?
One thing .. you should be able to prove this. Erika & Stacii may denie it continously .. thus - your word, against, their word.
Think this out at every angle. Consider all consequences.
2007-12-01 02:18:15 · answer #2 · answered by Tara 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Give Erika the option of telling Staci before you do. Put yourself in Stacii's shoes. I'm sure you would want know this before getting married. And maybe you should consider how you pick your friends. Erika doesn't sound like a very good person. Do you know where YOUR man is?
2007-12-01 02:09:48 · answer #3 · answered by big_tree 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you know for a fact that this is going on, then YOU need to tell the soon to be bride, so she can dump Sean's sorry hind end, and maybe you need to get higher quality friends than Erika. Erika's not going to tell what's been going on. She wants Sean for herself. She's a selfish, spoiled brat, and you can do better than her. He's also a selfish, spoiled brat.
2007-12-01 02:14:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Personally, as much as it'd hurt... I would want to know. Especially BEFORE i married the guy...
You really should tell her. She won't "shoot the messenger", she'll be upset at first of course, but not at you directly. In fact once the initial shock and heart break are over with she'll probably thank you.
ALSO, women seem to "just know" when somethings up in the relationship~ intuition. So maybe she already suspects something (which is probably driving her insane). Telling her may end up relieving/ confirming what she already thinks.
Either way, you should tell her. She deserves to know and its probably better coming from you than some random person she doesn't know well. Besides, If she finds out later on down the road on her own and realizes you knew all along you can kiss your friendship goodbye.
2007-12-01 11:45:18 · answer #5 · answered by busymum 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. Think if Erika is the person you should have as a friend.
2. Think about Stacii and what kind of friend you are being if you don't tell her.
He will definitely use her in the future. Just think about how to tell her. Anonymous is a good approach.
2007-12-01 02:11:45 · answer #6 · answered by haigazimo 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
it's erika and sean's responsibility to tell stacii. but what they probably both don't realize, sweeping things under the rug does not mean it goes away, it will come out eventually. and if i were stacii i would want to know now, that is before i get into a marriage, have children, and all sort of other things that could seriously complicate matters further.
2007-12-01 02:19:08 · answer #7 · answered by celticbuddha 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
What would you want if you were the girl being cheated on? This is one of the most difficult things you may have to deal with... ever. But I think, if you really love your friend (Erika), you should talk to her. If it doesn't help, talk to Stacii. If you love your friend (Stacii), you probably want what's best for her. Is it best to allow her to live a lie? I know it's hard, but only you can know if it's right. Pray for strength. Good luck.
2007-12-01 02:08:57 · answer #8 · answered by John 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
When you started typing the topic of your question a list would have appeared with similiarly worded questions with all the answers you needed to this repeatedly asked question.
But for laugh's I'll give you some straight advice.
Ever heard the saying "Dont shoot the messenger", ? , you my dear are wanting to be the messenger , you cant force this selfish cow friend of your's to admit what she's done and face the beating's that will follow by the bride to be and the rest of your friend ship crew (you willing to pay her medical bills when they're finished re-arranging her face?) , the groom to be will deny , deny , deny emphatically that he ever touched the little hoe bag anyway and then continue to do her after the wedding but make damn sure you dont know about it .
In short why bother , sever ties with the girl and stick to the bride if you truely are her friend and when the truth is revealed (and it will be ) just make sure you are there to support her , but dont get involved in the beating's unless you want a judge to lay some beating's on you.
Good luck.
2007-12-01 02:53:53 · answer #9 · answered by JadeyOz 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Go tell Stacii yourself if you can't convince Erika to do it, because it's not fair and she deserves to know about it.
2007-12-01 02:08:18 · answer #10 · answered by Rachel 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋