We split up 2 years ago but decided to stay married for health insurance reasons.We decided to never sell the house, he would live in it but I would have access when I needed it ( my job had me traveling ).
I met someone on the net and said he should do the same. So, I took him shopping, got him a new do and took pictures then set him up with a profile on the personals.
He'd call me with updates on how he was doing.
Then he met her.
Communication changed.He asked for a divorce and said he wanted to sell the house. I was no longer traveling and since he moved in with her, I moved back home. But I couldn't get in the day I drove back home. My daughter told me his new g/f said he had to change the locks or she would break up with him.
He called and told me he could no longer talk to me on the phone or she would break up with him.
He said we could no longer get a divorce on our own and had to use a lawyer or she would break up w/him.
Today I got a call and he said......
2007-11-30 16:55:51 · 11 answers · asked by nichium 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He said that he wanted to come get the rest of his stuff but he wnted me to leave the house for a few hours so that both he and his g/f could come in and get his things. He said I needed to work with him on this. She didn't want to see me and was upset I had even moved back to town and it almost cost him his relationship with her.
I don't want to leave my house oopen to her whims and what she may want to get. Am I being unreasonable? He says I am. That I should understand he has a right to his love and be happy. I am not trying to stop that but I am tired of it affecting me.
So, should I stay or should I go?
2007-11-30 16:59:11 · update #1
we wee married 20 years and no I don't love him. Getting divorced is fine with me. It is the control she has over my life ( through him ) that disturbs me.
Sad thing is that anybody who knows me knows that I would have welcomed her to the famly since we do have a daughter together. But he says that she doesn't want nor need my approval and just wants me to stay away from him.
I am guilty of wanting us to all have a good relationship for our daughters sake. There will be a marriage and eventual grandchildren. My parents have both remarried and there is no ill feelings and everyuone gets aong. Same thing with my Uncle's ex. He ad his wife have a great relatiohship with their ex's.
We fell out of love many years ago but stayed together for our daughters sake. We remmained friends until this woman came into his life.
My daughter tried really hard to like her but told me that it was very difficult because she makes her feel uncomfortable.
2007-11-30 17:14:35 · update #2
Yea you guys are right. Unfortunatly I couldn't afford an attorney. That is why I was so upset about her saying we had to go through one. But now I am completely miffed because everything is changing since he met her.
20 years of marriage and I told him I dind't want alimony because he needed money to live off of. But as soon as I moved back I lost my job and am pretty well broke ) he had all my utilities turned off because she told him to.
I also found out that because I did not request it that I would not get half his social security.
I am screwed but I did it to myself because we used to be friends and thought we would always look out for one another. STUPID!
2007-11-30 17:21:11 · update #3
You gotta be kidding!! I would not go for even one second!
You tell her soon to be ex, that if she breaks it off with him for you not wanting to leave YOUR home, that is just to bad, she is not only trying to control him, but she is also trying to control you as well, don't let that happen, you set the ground rules now, and tell your ex that if she is that jealous she needs to do some growing up before he gets in any deeper with her.
2007-11-30 17:08:52 · answer #1 · answered by tiny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, what did you expect? Now all marriages have this special understanding. He met a woman who is very possessive/jealous and she's got him whipped!!!!
Get a lawyer and get as much as you can!
Forget trying to be friends with your hubby right now! A neurotically possessive woman will make his life hell!!!!
You guys just stayed together for the insurance and for your daughter benefits. He was probably dying to have love/intimacy again and it happened but this is the type of girl, so you got to deal with the fact she isn't as free or understanding as you. It's natural she may want distance between you too and neurotic, but you can't change, how she is so possessive of him.
Your ex cooperated with you for the insurance reasons for 2 years, but he's ready to move on now and this is part of the bargain for him. Your best bet is get out of the mode you're in where everyone can get along and continue to operate with benefits and GET EVERYTHING YOU CAN!: Money from the house, etc...
2007-11-30 17:24:48 · answer #2 · answered by Lil Blousou 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-09-05 17:26:42 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Simple as it seems, this is only one reason why MARRIED PEOPLE SHOULD NOT DATE! Take care of your own business, relationships, money, insurance concerns and get over the past before you go dragging new people into your life! It only makes a bigger mess. And believe me, you had better get a good attorney and get really smart- divorce laws are really nuts and you could lose a lot.
2007-11-30 17:12:44 · answer #4 · answered by twiggy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are in no way being unreasonable. he can love her all he wants but if he wants his stuff you shouldn't have to leave to please her. She's being overly immature by telling him you have to leave or she will. it seems she's a major control freak and will just make his and your life hell. She has NO say in what YOU can and cannot do. If you are living in the house you have the right to stay there. If she has a problem with it, that's all on her. Don't feel guilty if she leaves him because you didn't listen to her.
2007-11-30 17:31:12 · answer #5 · answered by mezich 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriages for convenience tend to fall apart when it isn't convenient for one of the partners or both after awhile. I suggest you find health insurance else where, sell the house and split it 50/50.
2007-11-30 17:01:09 · answer #6 · answered by Lovebug123 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're not married to HER. Make your own plans. Do as you choose. He had no right to change the locks, since the house belongs to you and he...........NOT her. Sounds like it's divorce time. PLEASE get yourself a good attny. And if he wants the house, let him buy you out! She does NOT make decisions on YOUR life!
2007-11-30 17:07:50 · answer #7 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you love him still? How old is your daughter? He has moved on. You don't need this type of person in your life. Or her either, think about your self. Make your self happy. move on.
2007-11-30 17:02:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
id stay, u and him had an agreement before she came along. nothing is about what she wants. id stand my ground girl! thats ur house too! shes the one with the problem and the one creating drama. he will figure that out, stay mature and stand up for yourself!
2007-11-30 17:09:12 · answer #9 · answered by :) 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think u need to stay she has no control over u and shouldnt have complete control over him, tell him he can come get the stuff but ur noy going anywhere its ur house and if she has a problem with it oh well she will get over it
2007-11-30 17:02:18 · answer #10 · answered by azpokey14 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋