Ok so my husband finds out that his military leave will not allow us to go see any of our families this year... I'm a military wife so I take this in stride it's what we have to do to support our husbands. However, my feelings were very hurt when I found out he called and told hismother this before telling me... I tried to explain that since our little family was what was directly affected- it was just that I expected to be the first in on the loop... I always tell him all important information especially when he is directly affected before I call my mother friends or anyone- but he just called me petty and refused to have anything to do with me or our daughter the rest of the night.... am I petty or do I have the right to feel hurt?
2007-11-30 16:47:18 · 16 answers · asked by vicycat 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Its not okay with me, but some men are just like that... I'd say be upset but don't make a big deal out of it.
2007-11-30 18:58:59 · answer #1 · answered by Rachel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a lot of things going on here.
On both sides, okay? : ^ >
1. It's not a matter of judgement, It's not a matter of right or wrong. It's a whole lot of other things.
2. Resentments come from expectations. If you have a lot of resentments, you might want to consider trying something different. If you nurse resentments as sweet little things, I'd recommend giving it up. If you look at a resentment you may have, I think you find that it arises from an expectation. So if you would like to not generate new resentments, I would practice acceptance. I would let go of expectations.
3. Feelings are important. Feelings are feelings. If you feel hurt, you feel hurt. It's important to be able to share your feelings. Now, you need to share your feelings without expectations. You need to let go of the results. You need to not to try to control the results. It does take some courage, as it does leave you with some vulnerability. Now the other person may emphathize with your feelings, or they may not. This is not a statement about you. This is not a statement about your feelings. It is a statement about the other person. Now they may surprise you, they may be sensitive to your feelings, it may bring you closer together. On the other hand it may show them to uncaring, or unfeeling, or something less than you might have hoped for. Your part is keep the focus on you and your feelings. You may want to make changes in your own life. You will need to realize that you cannot change the other person.
It's not a matter of right or wrong. It's not a matter of him or me. There's not a need for polarizing. It's a matter of acceptance, keeping the focus on self, letting go of expectations, lettings go of resentments, not blaming, sharing, sharing feelings,
2007-11-30 17:15:49 · answer #2 · answered by Bryan G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
, ok, ok, now we could here from some1 who isn't related to their mom, a guy or woman in an analogous boat on condition that every1 else can in ordinary terms see it from the place they're status and not putting there selves in the OP's place. commonplace isn't the be conscious to be utilising here, its climate or not its long previous too a techniques, and clearly it has. Coming from some1 in an analogous place, no count number what any1 says, there's a point of effect that the in rules carry into your marriage whilst this happens. And from the guy who litteraly wrote the e book on marriage (god), a spouse and a husband are meant to go away their father and there mom and stick to they're mate. This in its self could alter how regularly any a million of them consult with they're mum and dad, each and every now and then ok, every day????// and dissimilar circumstances an afternoon??????? that's wayyyy to plenty. whilst u make a vow to adhere with ur mate for something of your existence, you have chosen them to be your (out) or your (risk-free haven), taking place your mom sooo regularly is very almost like cheating.
2016-10-09 23:46:37 · answer #3 · answered by xie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well im a military husband, my wife is in the Army, and I do understand how you feel.
You have a right to be hurt. I would never tell my family before my wife and she wouldn't do the same. He is just being an ***.
2007-11-30 16:51:52 · answer #4 · answered by CableMan 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
cout marshall the sucka. have the mp escorts him to marshall's yard and charge him for hurting the wifey feelings. Punishable by having more intimacy with the wifey more than the usual since you guys be separated for awhile. Fair enough?
2007-11-30 17:00:26 · answer #5 · answered by Dongfeng!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He probably told whoever he could get ahold of first. It wasn't just you and he affected by this. I wouldn't worry about it. This really isn't that big of a thing.
Or this is just one of his minor flaws. Whatever the case, it's not a big deal.
2007-11-30 17:14:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A one word answer for you: NO.
It is totally rude of him to tell his mother before you. You should be your number one, NOT HER. God, it pisses me off when I read about men putting their mothers or families first before their PARTNER. Your wife or husband should always always come before ANYTHING ELSE, including relatives!
2007-11-30 16:51:05 · answer #7 · answered by myleslr 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I'f felt the same way before with my ex husband when he had done the same. He probibly just wasn't thinking or just wanted to let his mother know that you guy's weren't going to be able to see them and didn't think you would mind.
2007-11-30 16:54:01 · answer #8 · answered by pampered_princess 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Some stuff in life sucks.
Some stuff doesn't.
Some stuff doesn't really matter (petty stuff).
I vote for the latter, in this case.
2007-11-30 16:57:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No you're not petty. He's being an @$$! You are his wife and you should be #1! Then your kids! What the hell is his problem? He needs to get off the tit!
2007-11-30 16:52:45 · answer #10 · answered by Tabatha 4 · 3⤊ 2⤋