Praise my mediocre poem lavishly and at length, won't you?

Question

My harsh approach to lists of things to do:
Reduce the count from many down to few
And only chase the one I must pursue.

Against my sense of duty I send wit
A champion to guarantee the fit
Of comely virtue with my urge to sit.

Ya know, a lot of stuff can go undone,
You needn't finish tasks you've not begun,
Some fights unfought preserve what can't be won.

I envy not the energetic man
Whose life is spent on some ambitious plan
Of doing all that any human can.

I'll do a thing or two to please myself
And leave ambition rusting on the shelf.

Answer 1

Your poem is a wonderful example of the poetic use of rhyme. While many poets in this modern era shy away from the use of devices in favor of free verse, you have embraced a structured method and for that I salute you!

Most people who are prone to procrastination (as you imply you are, in your second verse), would not take the time or effort to voice this laziness in poetry. However, you have put forth your reflections on your own attitudes with a thoughtful consideration usually left to more ambitious people.

What? What is this? Fourteen lines? A couplet at the end? Why I have underestimated the amazing effort you put into this gem. It is in fact a sonnet! How enchanting. The fact that you have shied away from the Shakespearean model of three quatrains and a couplet makes this poem especially nice.


Good enough, yo?

Answer 2

the last line is great.
you can probably reduce this whole thing to 3 lines. you don't need to rhyme.

I champion virtue, but my urges rage
I spend my life waiting on my dream
leaving ambition rusting on the shelf

gosh I dont' know. but you can basically summarize everything more simply - that's just an idea, I dont' think that works, but that gives you an idea about what I'm talking about.

Answer 3

I enjoyed it. Read it from beginning to end (which I don't always do with my attention span). Get that ambition back off the shelf and do some more poetry!

Answer 4

gr8 rhyming and very deep gud job