This guy & I are friends w/benefits...only he has feelings(or so he says)& so do I. But he's says he has to be careful b/c he's got alot going on right now & not looking for anything serious. So I didn't contact him all day today...I figured I would back off a little & he didn't contact me either...until tonight. He contacted me first & asked how my day was, etc. I told him & then asked him the same & he said it was cool & that he missed talking to me. Well, I was still not really sure about letting myself get to close to him so I just said "aww"..lol....I missed talking to him too but I refused to say anything about how I felt....until 2 hours later. I gave in & sent him a text just saying I missed talking to him too. I didn't want to talk about the way I feel w/him since he doesn't want to be serious but then again I didn't want him to think I didn't miss him. Should I stick to it & not bring comments like that into it since he doesn't want to be serious? I'm confused!
2007-11-30 14:45:09 · 20 answers · asked by love my life 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
so you are friends with "benefits"? don't worry-I'm not judging you, i have the same thing and because you have these "benefits" flirting is OK, and even sometimes expected.
he said he missed talking to you first so it's not like he can feel uncomfortable because he started it.
I've learnt not to over analyse what people say, don't worry about what you have said or done or will say or do and just live in the present.
do what comes naturally, if flirting with him come naturally then do it, and don't go back and re think what happens because not matter what you will end up hurting your self by doing that. don't doubt your decisions-everything happens for a reason.
2007-11-30 14:54:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why is it all about what he wants? Are you really ok with this arrangement? I am guessing you want more as you say and you are going to get hurt. Trust me if he really liked you, having alot going on wouldnt even factor into it.
I think you should find a guy that wants to date you and dont do the friends with benefits.. That always goes sour in the end.
2007-11-30 22:51:38 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow! You sure have a situation here. But I will teel you this, we always know the right thing to do! You have to look inside and ask what would make me happy? and follow your heart. Good or bad, it is the only way to be happy and secure.
But keep in mind the benifits thing is a tuff thing to keep up without falling. It is proven that a women will have an emotional bond to a person she made love to for up to 6 months after the act. Plus the best way to keep a man is to make him come to you! if he sees you always going to him he wont appreciate you!
I know Im a guy!
Good luck!
2007-11-30 22:52:07 · answer #3 · answered by DC 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hi, well if i were you, i might get far from the guy to further put myself from getting hurt. since the guy said that he's not yet into serious things. but on the other end if you really want him why not talk to him and tell your feelings (there's nothing wrong with that)to him, tell him that you're not forcing him to serious just that you want to be honest ; it's like having a mutual understanding but so that u won't have to hide anymore...
2007-11-30 22:52:29 · answer #4 · answered by yvette_heart23 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well it sounds like he isn't really looking for anything serious right now, like he previously said. In my opinion it doesn't sound like telling him you have feelings for him is going to do any justice.. especially with all that he has going on, you should be considerate of what he said. Just lay low and let him talk to you first, and see how it goes from there.
2007-11-30 22:50:35 · answer #5 · answered by ♫ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, he has made things clear enough,keep it casual,light and no benefits, people that need to be careful and not looking for any thing serious do not deserve benefits, those belong to people who appreciate and honor other people's feellings, and that is not you with this man, for all you know he has a wife same were,if you want to ply sexual games with him go ahead but do not expect any thing down the road. when he has told you plain and simple, what he is all about
2007-11-30 22:57:26 · answer #6 · answered by Loretta M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say you could tell him anything. If you don't, he might think that you don't have feelings for him anymore, and if he suddenly wants a relationship he might think you're not interested. Tell him how your feeling, if he wants you to back off or not tell him everything, then he'll tell you that. If he doesn't tell you to stop telling him stuff, then it should be ok to keep telling him.
2007-11-30 22:52:03 · answer #7 · answered by vballchick14 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but that's what you should expect in a "friends w/benefits" relationship...lots of confusion and strange feelings. Sounds to me like the feelings he has are all centered in his pelvic region. Try giving him "space" and play a little hard to get, why dontcha?
2007-11-30 22:49:25 · answer #8 · answered by MeltdownMa 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You and "this guy" sound like you are falling in love. Just follow your heart. Dont play games. If you miss him and want to be with him or talk to him, tell him the truth.
2007-11-30 22:48:34 · answer #9 · answered by happydawg 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
it seems like you have already become serious with your sexual selves.....so it shouldn't matter what you say.....if he doesn't want to be serious and you don't either, I would suggest stopping the sex, which is the most serious part of relationships anyway. He doesn't have to be serious....you're already giving him everything for free. good luck.
2007-11-30 22:50:34 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋