My wifes son is living with and is still in college. He is 33 yrs olds.He has gone to 10-12 different schools. Still has no degree and undecided. He downloads dirty movies to my computer and my wife defends him. He has been in college since 18 and he drives me nuts. The worst of all is he takes my clothes even my underwear. I have separated from my wife. Due to the fact I attmepted suicide. I am better now and am seeking treatment. I feel violated by my wife and her son. I know this relationship is co dependant. Yet she still looks at all her 3 kids as 10,11, & 12. She says her olderst son is like a Grandfather/Father to her other siblings. I am thinking of divorce. We are separated now. Yet, I cannot go back to this mess. Then to top it off he goes into my colonge and wears it.
2007-11-30 14:15:04 · 16 answers · asked by Patrick V 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have stood up to my wife and she gets mad at me. I am enabling her son and her. Yes He has no degree. I apprciate the advice. Keep it rolling. Yes, I have already left and am moving into a new place soon.
2007-11-30 14:28:01 · update #1
Get out of this marriage.
Enabling people to abuse you, whether they are the same age, older or close to it doesn't help you. When it comes from the person you are married to allows her children to continue this with her and yet allow them to ruin her life let alone yours and the life you could have together is wrong also. She needs counseling too. Better yet, she needs to sh** or get off the pot!!!
Seperation or Divorce is not an easy matter for anyone to deal with (whether the person cares or not) but for you to feel that suicide was your option out was not good either.
If it's her house, let her keep it, if it's your house, keep it, if the house belongs to both of you, one or the other needs to buy the other out and if it's not an option there then, it needs to be sold.
If her children are of age and none of them have been adopted by you, you have no responsibility to any of them financially.
Remember this, know where you've been, know where you are and know where you want to be. Know what you didn't have, know what you have, know what you want. Never take less. There are many songs out there to help us cope with our feelings.
2007-11-30 14:53:42 · answer #1 · answered by Mignon F 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well these are the trials and tribulations of marrying with step-kids
It doens't seem you're going to change others, so if you can't detach, maybe it is best you get out since it bugs you enough to attmept suicide.
I feel bad, but as kid, I got into my parents stuff
Now this man is an adult but mentally he is still a child b/c mama spoils him
It seems you've sat down with wifey. Are you willing to try therapy? Sometimes a good therapist can say things in a way to wake wifey up and act! If not, you might have to throw divorce card in if wifey won't take action to move older child out!
Are you giving me full story?
2007-11-30 14:37:26 · answer #2 · answered by Lil Blousou 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds Iike a real loser of a guy.
I mean come on, is he actually studying for a degree in something that he has been in college for sooooo long?
And if hes stealing your stuff maybe your step child has some kind of fetish for you or maybe he is not your stepson and really her boy toy. Either way get out now and stay out.
Do you have kids with her?
If so get them away from their older brother cause no one needs that to look up to.
2007-11-30 14:22:33 · answer #3 · answered by CrazyH 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I say get a lock and store your all your stuff there as for your computer when logging on put a password that way he has no choice to buy his own. Good luck and don't feel bad he needs to get his own life by now he is old enough.
2007-11-30 14:23:32 · answer #4 · answered by ♥Daisy♥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should be happy that you are gone. There is no question you should ask except... Where's the party at? Leave that mess for her to sort out. You are free and clear of them and their uncouthness. 33 and still in school. His mom need to be kicked straight up her butt for allowing him to make a damn dummy out of her. Man you better tell that woman and her 33 year old toddler ''PEACE OUT''.
2007-11-30 14:23:37 · answer #5 · answered by Go GO Ressa 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Clearly these "kids" have no boundaries. You are making your boundary and stick by your guns. Your wife is going to have a tough time holding on to any relationship if she continues to put her partner on the back burner. You can't be a team by yourself. You need to stay away from her and the kids it is not good for your psyche.
2007-11-30 14:21:17 · answer #6 · answered by Roxanne G 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
don't go back... it will only get worst.... if you go back you might try and kill yourself again and you might do it. your life is so much more important then that. i know what it's like to be a step parent to adult children, it sucks big time. you would think that adult children would be better at accepting the fact that their parent remarried...but that is not true at all. so do yourself a favor, get a divorce, get your life back on track and live it to the fullest, this is your one and only life so why be in that situation? you can do much better
2007-11-30 18:06:33 · answer #7 · answered by yak4the8car 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have a rule in my home its called 18 and 30, that means 18 years old and 30 days to get out and for your 18th birthday he or she will get luggage and dont look back
2007-11-30 14:31:07 · answer #8 · answered by bigdaddy9965 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get a divorce. the children are not your's. she will always choose her kids before you. you're not her priority & never will be. you cannot make her choose between you and her kids. file for divorce, recover, then find someone at your level. ask yourself, how do you benefit from this relationship?
2007-11-30 14:22:26 · answer #9 · answered by hi91977 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You deserve better than this. Divorce her. Her son is her problem. 33 and still at home, Oh My God.
2007-11-30 14:21:18 · answer #10 · answered by Goonhilda 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋