I'm in the U.S. dating a Pakistani Muslim. We're in our 30's. He's a "caffeteria muslim" but is a traditionalist when it comes to family. He's lived in America for 14 years and his family is in Pakistan. Anything I should know about as I get into this? I'm not converting...
2007-11-30 14:13:42 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I should clarify a few things...we just started dating and I'm just info-gathering "just in case." He doesn't need citizenship as he has had his greencard for years (got his MBA here a decade ago and has a very well paying, secure job). I would be fine raising kids with a Muslim upbringing...I am not bound to another religion per say. I just don't see myself converting and becoming religious in any sense. Uhm...and he doesn't have a wife in Pakistan as he lives in America and has for 14 years...
2007-11-30 14:48:44 · update #1
Pakistani if he is a traditional one, you need to consider his culture and religion. As a person, he is the same thing like you and me, knows how to love and respect people. He is a person with feelings and emotions. So, I don't see anything wrong if you will continue with him or even marry him.
He is in America, so his mind is liberated enough and not too much of his Arab culture. But if in case you marry him, you must engaged for all the things he love. Even his religion and whatsoever. On the other hand, he should do also for your side.
Don't be afraid of Pakistani. Here in middle east, they are well behave people. There are rumors about negative things about them but it is another story.
I am referring about Pakistani as individual. They are very respectful and loving person. Go for it, and be aware also that they are hardworking people, should I say... workaholic.
2007-11-30 14:35:12 · answer #1 · answered by engrenan 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he's a traditionalist when it comes to family, and you're not willing to be a traditional Muslim wife (the type of wife him and his extended family will want), then I would wager to guess you should not marry him. 'Not Without My Daughter' was an excellent movie starring Sally Fields. You should consider watching it, if you haven't already.
Edit: If you know all these things about him for sure, then simply follow where your heart leads. He may be the man for you, but only time will tell that. Just because he is Pakistani and Muslim does not automatically make him a bad person. Most Pakistani men I have met are terribly respectful to western women. How they are with their wives, I don't know. If he is US-educated, and working here, then he probably has many westernized views. Again, you have to follow where your heart leads you.
2007-11-30 14:31:36 · answer #2 · answered by Shayna 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sister I am a Muslim and seriously concerned about you.
If his family is in Pakistan, he need to obtain permission from
his wife to take you as second wife. I doubt if he has done
it. If not, he is cheating his present wife. What is the guarantee
that he will not cheat you as well.
Some people are Muslims in name only and highly influenced by th western culture. If he were serious, he would have proposed you so far. A true Muslim will not touch a woman
without bond of marraige.
You are in 30's and are not a young ambitious girl you were once. Think twice, better safe than sorry. If you are reasonably
good looking and can live with a Pakistani, there will be dozens of us who might be interested in you. White skin is
our weakness.
Javed Kaleem
2007-11-30 14:40:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, they often want greed cards and are masters of "sweet talk"
Often once they get here, they treat woman like sheet and often ditch her for another
I have friend who got involved with several and it always turned out, with Private Investigator, the guys have history attempting this!
I bet if you tell him you need time to think about it and are firm and then you set up another user account with hot girl and try to woo him, you may find, if he beleives it's not you...his dirty other side. This is how we caught other guy. He wanted marry my friend sooooo bad. She backed off and said she needed time. He was so sincere and send gift I almost believed him!
THEN my other friend made another account, and this guy who'd been talking my friend almost 8+ hours per day crying is she don't love him...was talking marriage in less than a week with this madeup character. At first he was distant and din't buy into it. Then we had madeup character say she was a he!! And he still agree to marry! THESE PEOPLE ARE SO DESPERATE FOR A GREEN CARD IT ISN'T FUNNY!
There are some rare exceptions, I repeat rare!!!
2007-11-30 14:42:16 · answer #4 · answered by Lil Blousou 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You aint considered all muslims so do now no longer choose for btw optimal white ladies human beings settle for islam and black person adult men so muslims are fairly no longer a distinctive variety of individual as theres each and every type in touch erm right here in england they accomplish that do the saudis consistent with threat they simply pass to particular places additionally a none asian individual does now no longer have the means to tell a pakistani with the exception of an arab, pathan,bozninan, romainian consistent with threat thats why :p
2016-10-18 10:47:40 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What I know of Mulsim girl is religiously prohibited to be married into a non-muslim man. This is a tradition and religiously prohibited and if the two of you will get involved and plan to marry, I don't think it will prosper.You need to think twice otherwise, it will lead you to trouble in the future with her family and clan members.
It is against Islamic law for their muslim women to be marriaged in to a non Muslim man unless the non Mulsim man shall convert to their religion. Theologocially Islam prohibition's, due to the father of the family is always the man, husband.
This is because the father of the family is obliged to feed and sustain all members of the family. The father of the family has the right to select what best future of his family including reiligous belief. The woman, or wife, has only has supporting rule to the father,to take care the family and household, and not oblige to work to feed her family's sustainance.
Now the logic here about the point of view on Islam for marriage, the purpose of family is to establish and concieve many children to be taught the Islamic way of life to follow their prophet' religion.
I don't think yours will prosper because it will violate their religion, Islam and their cultures, the only way is to either of you will convert to accomodate into other's religion.
2007-11-30 15:07:46 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
UMM...all I can say is when he tells you to do something he's going expect you to submit and do it...their women serve their husbands with a huge amount of submission...so hopefully since he's lived here for 14yrs has softened him a bit...but if he is really hoping you will marry him then prepare for a 180 turn around of what he will tolerate from you and your non-muslim ways of living. Trust me right now he thinks everything you do is cute because your not his wife, but if he asks for marriage it won't be cute, unless he just keeps you as hidden/secretive wife...? please be careful...good luck
2007-11-30 14:27:26 · answer #7 · answered by Muslimah S 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just know that the easiest person in the world for you to fool is yourself.
Good luck.
2007-11-30 14:21:52 · answer #8 · answered by box of rain 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think the converting part at the end is going to be a big problem for him at the end
2007-11-30 15:14:17 · answer #9 · answered by Joe S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good Luck!!!
2007-11-30 14:27:52 · answer #10 · answered by Go GO Ressa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋