Just a little backround, Im a product of recent divorce, and have 50% custody of my son from my previous marriage. Ive been seeing this girl about a year and a half now, and bought a house together four months ago. Ive grown to learn quite a bit more about this girl in this time. She's taken a lot of various pills, had a major cutting problem, and also brought upon me a glorious virus known as HPV. However, my toddler loves her, I still love her, yet prior to this relationship she made a lot of bad judgements in my opinion and has never really loved my son as I hoped for. All of this has made me a bit un-trusting, not sure if its because Im insecure or simply becuase of the warning flags ive encountered. To the point, we dont have the greatest sex life, last week I was accused of wanting to leave her, she freaked out over me having a phone call at night, and just recently noticed her phone had about 30 texts on the bill in which I was unaware of. Thoughts?
2007-11-30 13:44:58 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Um ya reread what u wrote...then ask urself if this kind of relationship is good for ur son?! Drugs? Um, nope. Hello u know what u should do, now do it for ur son. Leave her!
2007-11-30 13:54:57 · answer #1 · answered by ♥Pure Evil♥ 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to say, but this relationship sounds doomed. I think it was doomed before it really began. She has brought alot of negative into your life. HPV being one HUGE negative. Now you will have to share that info with future partners so that you do not infect them. That sucks BIG time. If she does not truly and honestly love your son then that alone should be reason to cut ties. She OBVIOUSLY has some deep seeded issues with the pills and the cutting. Your son deserves better than this. You simply can't be a 100% devoted daddy when you have a basket case as a partner and you constantly have to worry about her as well. You should have someone that you can leave your child with alone and not worry about coming home to a pilled up, glossy eyed, cut up crazy chic who is not even worried about your son.
OK....30 texts..HELLO..she is obviously very interested in talking to someone. Ya know?
Sell the house and get the heck away from this chic. Nothing good will come out of this relationship so why prolong the inevitable. Find someone who will be a good influence and a good role model for your son. Your son may love this chic, but remember, kids are very resiliant and he could love someone else just as much, probably more, than he loves her...Find a way to break it off for your sake and your son's sake. Good luck!
2007-11-30 22:02:33 · answer #2 · answered by whatshername 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Odd how all these things started cropping up after you two went in on a house together. It is too bad she kept it so secretive... however I am surprised you were not aware of the cutting at the very least. She needs help for her what I would believe are addictions, but getting her there will be a battle she has to fight. I think you are not insecure... there are way too many red flags to be able to fully trust her. Be supportive and maybe suggest counseling for the TWO of you... not just for her. Otherwise she will get defensive and dismiss the possibility if you tell her she needs the help. Maybe you will learn how to help her cope with her troubles while she can learn how to come to terms with them. I hope things get better for all of you!
2007-11-30 21:57:44 · answer #3 · answered by Kim 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You made some bad judgement calls. #1), never shack up with someone and #2) never purchase a home with someone you're not married to cause it always ends up being a legal mess. Had you stuck to #1 and 2 and just dated the girl for 1 1/2 years, you would have found all of this out naturally and it would be much easier to back out.
2007-12-01 01:32:48 · answer #4 · answered by Sondra 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
EEEEEHHHH what??? You decided to not trust her after buying a house together?? COME ON!!! You should really start learning from this, never buy a house with someone because you got horny and thought it will work out in the end or maybe this was the cheapest way to have a babysitter. anyway, leave her, pay the house by yourself and better luck for next time.
2007-11-30 21:56:22 · answer #5 · answered by suehellen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me assure you you are a "bit un-trusting" for a reason!
Warning flags should not go ignored, I don't care how much you or your toddler love her.
Re-read your question. Is this the kind of wife you really WANT??? iS THIS THE KIND OF WOMAN YOU WANT FOR A STEP MOTHER FOR YOUR CHILD???? If your answer is yes, re-read your question. You should run, fast! Don't look back.!!! There are plenty of good ladies who would love to get to know you.
2007-11-30 23:23:27 · answer #6 · answered by butterflylover 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wake up. If anyone brought me a disease home that would be the last time they stepped foot in my house. Sell the house give her half and give her the boot.
Is this perhaps karma from your first marriage. Why did that one end
2007-11-30 21:53:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Simply put, the accuser is usually the accused. I would proceed with much caution. This isn't just you getting screwed over it also now involves your (very young and impressionable) son.
2007-11-30 21:53:46 · answer #8 · answered by shannanm2783 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your not happy be gone!
You don't need to put your son into another messy relationship.
And just so you know the HPV is a womens virus not usally found in men it has to do with cancer in her uterus. Sister has it.
2007-11-30 21:52:22 · answer #9 · answered by CrazyH 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh Shane.... you have screwed up big time!
The first thing you need to do is hire an attorney and begin the process of selling the house.
Next, keep the police department's number handy. It is 911. call us when she really blows up and shows her true colors.
Good luck.
2007-11-30 22:25:41 · answer #10 · answered by box of rain 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋