Abortion guilt?can i have baby?

Question

I had an abortion a year and a half ago,i wasnt ready,was on low income and my bf was no good. I was scared and had to make a decision fast. It didnt affect me much at first, it was more of a relief but it's affecting me now,i constantly think about how old my baby would be now,look like etc. I am now with someone new and feel ready to have a child,it's only my first month of trying this month but i came on my period so it's been unsuccessful,i'm getting nervous incase i cant have babies and god might be punishing me,i had a medical abortion,could this affect my chances?do you know someone who's had an abortion and got pregnant after?

Answer 1

well first of all dont feel bad for anything, you probably made the right desicion, i know what its like to have a crappy boyfriend and have no financial stability in your life. And to answer your question i have a friend who had an abortion and a few months later got pregnant again. she had another abortion but now she is on the depo shot. so yes you can get pregnant again. Having an aboriton really doesnt effect your ovaries. and your ovaries are essential to getting pregnant. did you know it takes the average couple a year to conceive. it took my other friend (they started trying right after they got married) it took her about 6 months to get pregnant. so no worries it just takes some right timing. hope everything works out for you dear!

Answer 2

i doubt it affected your chances of pregnancy. sometimes it can, but rarely. you should ask your doctor for a pap and check to see if everything looks good. to make you feel better i'll let you know some facts. you only have a 25% chance of getting pregnant each month and it can take a normal healthy couple a year to get pregnant. it took me 5 months and i've never had an abortion or any other problem. i know it's hard to wait. i was getting very discouraged after the 3rd month, but i kept trying. i started taking vitamins and either by luck or coincidence i got pregnant a month later. you should take vitamins (just b/c it can help you start off your pregnancy right) and your bf should take them too. make sure that you really do want a baby. think about all the possibilities. what if you had a deformed baby or there was a problem? what would you do? i asked myself every question in the book to make sure that i was ready and my husband was too. also, dont stress...that can make it harder to become pregnant. if you want you can use an ovulation kit. and just to answer your last question....yes, i had a friend who had two abortions and is still able to get pregnant (fairly easy too).

Answer 3

I'd just like to state that guilt should not be automatically equated with abortions. You have to make smart decisions in life simply because you are responsible for self. If abortion is accepted in some instances, but not in others, someone is a hypocrite. What's the difference between a baby made from rape versus a baby made from a one night stand? Unwanted and unplanned is the main reason women abort anyway. I do not believe that God, or whatever higher power you serve, expects you to be perfect. If that were the case, then faith would have no purpose.

Secondly, there is no guarantee that you would be a baby-factory if you did NOT have an abortion. We all know there are plenty of women in this world, deserving women even, who simply cannot get pregnant, let alone carry a child full-term - I was one of them. My first pregnancy was miscarried. I was not ready for a child and was ashamedly thankful for the tragedy. A vist to the Dr showed that it would be difficult for me to get pregnant anyway...and I took that informatin to heart. I had mostly unprotected sex for ten years after that, with no pregnancies. Long story short, I got married and within a month of the ceremony I was pregnant - unplanned and high-risk. I developed a teratoma tumor with conception (potentially a twin embryo) and they gave me the option to abort. I was not ready for the child, wanted to spend time as a newlywed, but was afraid to abort because I didn't want a life full of guilt. I am a preacher's daughter and was taught against abortion, thus, I decided to keep the baby. I was on strict bedrest for nearly 10 months (she was overdue). The final result was a partial hysterectomy.

Long story even shorter, due to the hormone imbalance and elevated libido, I was pregnant two months after the surgery. Mind you, I had thousands of dollars in medical bills and had spent the last two years pregnant and living with a tumor. I just could not swallow the thought of being pregnant on bedrest AGAIN for the next 10 months. Not to mention the possibility of a child with defects and definite full hysterectomy. Just the thought made me depressed and my mind was made up. We decided within a week to abort - I was 5 weeks gestation and there were no signs of life. If there were, I can't say that I would have still gone through with it.

I have my reasons. I do not believe that I will be punished for this decision. Of course, if we had unlimited resources, it would be different. But, abortions are circumstantial. I do want more children and I believe I will have them when the time is right, even if they are adopted. I've learned that its about more than me and the ability to have children. It's about the quality of life I can provide for a child and my ability to prepare them for life on their own.

God is merciful, forgiving, and understanding. He does not punish "eye for an eye."

Answer 4

Yes I do know someone who has had a baby after having an abortion... in fact, she had three abortions. But, she was working in a strip club at the time, dating a very bad guy. She "seems" to have turned her life around and is married now to a pretty decent guy. She has a four month old little girl now, even after the doctor told her she would never carry a child to full term because her last abortion caused her uterus to "cave in". But, she did.

Answer 5

Have you and your new bf talked about marriage and starting a family together? Does he have a job that will be able to support you and the new baby? There is alot of responsibility and expense in bringing a child into the world.
I had an abortion while I was in college, I now have four beautiful children. I know alot of ladies who have had abortions(even multiple abortions) who later got pregnant.
God has forgiven you the minute you prayed it.

Answer 6

It has only been a month. There is no need to worry. I had to have a DandC after a failed miscarriage last year. I believe that is basically the same kind of procedure as an abortion. I am pregnant now. Do not worry. It will happen when it is the right time :)

Answer 7

Hi! please do yourself a favor and stop living with the guilt,i could tell you from experience that yes you could still have a baby even after getting a abortion,No god will not punish you for it you need to stop stressing,the only thing that will stop you from getting pregnant is you stressing to much,If your to stress you will have a hard time conceiving any DR will tell you the same thing.You need to relax and not think about trying to conceive trust me,have a glass of wine with your man and enjoy your night,and maybe not the second month or the third give it some time and it will happen,But first you need to put all that behind you and forgive yourself and let yourself know that you are not getting punish for what you did and that god will not punish you for it either,until you do that for yourself god will not let you get pregnant,You need to know that god is waiting on you,nomatter how long it takes for you to conceive its for the best god is waitting for you to stop feeling guilty and to stop stressing,you need to be healthy to be able to have a healthy baby!!!! please don't worry! and keep trying (god forgave you)now you need to forgive yourself that would be your first step on trying to conceive,i promise you,you will have a beautiful family soon!!!!! from (miracle)

Answer 8

hi - "For if you confess your sins, He is faithful and just to forgive your sins and cleanse you from all unrighteousness" God doesn't keep punishing you, you go to Him and confess your sin and then it's done. The thing is you need to forgive yourself. You made a painful mistake and you learned from it, you can go on. You don't have to keep whipping and beating yourself. Everyone falls and fails and makes mistakes. God doesn't expect you to be perfect and he wants you to share your heart with Him, He knows you can't do anything without Him and He knows that you failed and he's waiting for you to come back so He can love on you. God doesn't punish anyway - He disciplines His children, and that discipline can be very painful , but it's not punishment. God forgets all about it. "For their sins and iniquities I will remember no more.. "
But I think God does want you to confess your sin and admit that you failed, and then you can go on. You don't have to live in bondage to those failures anymore. You fail and fall and then you learn. View it this way - it's all a part of making you who you need to be. You probably learned some very valuable life lessons during this painful time, give thanks for it and go on. Relax and I hope you can have another baby.

I am not a woman, so I don't really understand, but I do understand making mistakes and failing. Which I've done many many times. ...

Answer 9

I am sorry about your situation--it is not an easy one.

Many people do go on to have normal pregnancies and babies after abortion. Some cannot.

Consider contacting your local chapter of Project Rachel (find it at www.hopeafterabortion.com/index.cfm). This is a support network for people who feel guilt after they had an abortion.

Good luck to you!

Answer 10

I had an abortion when I was 15. Since then, I have had three perfectly healthy babies. And the guilt never goes away, it only gets easier to deal with.