should i have sex?

Question

my boyfriend and i have been together for 2 years and were both 20 he asked me if i wanted to have sex the other night i said no because i had a family dinner to go to but now im almost sure he will ask again
the problume is im a virgin...
any advice?

Answer 1

only have sex when YOU are ready

Answer 2

If you've been together for 2 years and haven't talked about it yet you need to sit down and talk about it.

Have a serious conversation about what your past experiences have been, what your morals are, and what you expect from each other.

Don't be afraid of what he'll think if you don't want to. If you want to wait till you get married or you want to just wait until your ready, be honest and if he doesn't respect that then you know he doesn't respect you. If he lacks the maturity to take no for an answer (without "have to be somewhere" excuses), the relationship will likely end anyway and then you'll regret sleeping with the loser.

On the other hand, if you have no moral problems with it and want to, but want it to be special, tell him. Maybe even talk about what you know or don't know about sex, and MOST IMPORTANTLY DECIDE ON THE PROTECTION YOU'LL USE!!

If he's not a virgin he could have an STD he doesn't know about. Always use condoms and birth control together because it will protect you from both pregnancy and STD's. Condoms break/leak out the base, and you will forget a pill, but if you use both you have a much better chance of preventing an unwanted pregnancy.

Talk about what you would do if a pregnancy occurred. What's your stance on abortion? What's his? Adoption? Keeping it? Get married?

These are tough issues and only you can decide for yourself where you stand with them and then bring them up in a heart-to-heart with him.

Once all the issues are out in the open you'll be able to make the right choice for you as a couple. Best of luck to you.

Answer 3

It's NOT as great as they show it in the movies, so don't expect it to be like that. A first time is uncomfortable if only for the extra stretching being done down there (unless you've already used vibrators). If your hymen is intact, have a pad ready, you could bleed some.

I was sore for 2 days, everyone feels it differently, but expect some soreness.

Let him know you don't have much experience, so he can be careful and take time. If YOU are not ok with anything, make it stop, you're also in control here. Don't be pushed into doing anything you don't want to.

AND TAKE PRECAUTIONS! Even a 'first time' can result in a baby, so use birth control. If he doesn't have a condom, or you're not on the pill, say no. Last thing you need is a pregnancy.

Answer 4

If you have to ask this particular question, then you're not ready.

Sexual attraction and desire can, in the right setting, have fine effects. One, of course, is children. The first recorded instance of sexual relations says: “Now Adam had intercourse with Eve his wife and she became pregnant.” (Genesis 4:1) In a family, resulting children can be a source of real happiness. What, though, if sex relations are engaged in by persons not yet married? The effect often is the same—pregnancy and children.

Many who share in premarital sex relations feel that this need not be a serious concern. They have in mind available contraceptives. In some places teen-agers may obtain these even without their parents’ learning of it. Nonetheless, teenage pregnancies abound even among sophisticated youths, who say, “It couldn’t happen to me.” News reports such as these prove it:

“More than one baby in every five born in New Zealand last year was born to an unmarried parent.”

“Of every three British women under 20 reciting her marriage vows, one is already an expectant mother.”

“One out of five teenage girls [in the U.S.A.] will become pregnant before she graduates from high school.”

This painful effect of sex before marriage has brought pressure on many young women and young men. Some seek abortion. Yet sensitive persons become severely disturbed at the thought of destroying a child that is developing within its mother. (Exodus 20:13) Feminine emotions and conscience are also involved. These are so powerful that many who have permitted an abortion have later regretted it deeply.—Romans 2:14, 15.

Answer 5

It all depends on what you want. If you value your virginity and you dont want to give it away yet then you dont have to. If he starts to pressure you, then talk to him about how you feel. If you feel pressured like you have to do it, then you are not ready. You should have sex when you are totally ready, totally sure, and when YOU want to. Also remember that you are only a virgin once. It is such a beautiful gift that you have to give, and you need to save it until you are 100% sure. People will say everone's doing it, but they're not. Think about everything else you have going on and look at it in perspective. Sex isn't the biggest thing in life, and its unfortunate that that is what everyone thinks. Plus there are a lot of risks that you need to think of. If you have to questin it, then you are probably not ready. My advice: ABSTINENCE
Good Luck!

Answer 6

There is a reason why you have remained a virgin as long as you have don't let any pressure you into having sex. You only get one first time and it should be with someone that is going to love you for the long haul. I know you should wait or otherwise you wouldn't have posted a post on yahoo looking for someone to help you make up your mind. If you do decide to have sex with him you both need to have a open and frank conversation about sex. You need to discuss how many partners he has had and if he has always used protection You also need to discuss his STD status and if he has been tested. You need to talk about what type of protection you are going to use so you do not get pregnant. You should also go to the doctor to talk to him/her about what option out there would be best for you to used for birth control. And remember birth control takes time to get into your system before you can start having sex, but please use a condom as well. There are a lot of things to consider before having sex, but you need to really think about how you will feel after it's over and done with. Because you'll never be able to get back those lousy 15 mins. Sex isn't good the first time. GOOD LUCK!

Answer 7

If he can't wait until marriage, dump him. A man respects a woman that won't give it up, and if he's looking for some quick bootie call, then you're selling yourself cheap. If he has to get his rocks off tell him to go in the shower and see you in 4 minutes when he's calmed down.

Sex isn't a weapon, it is really for either married people or for people who plan to spend their lives together. This quick sex thing just doesn't work, especially for younger people. If you were 40 years old, then I'd say, "Hell yeah get your groove on". But at 20, if he can't chill the F out, then drop him like a hot potato. But be careful of guys like this, he may pay a hooker, and give you a disease. Be careful. Whose to say he's not out there doing his thing.

Answer 8

You will know when you are ready. Do you want to have sex with him? Do you feel comfortable around him? If you love him and you feel that you are ready to loose your virginity then I say go for it but make sure you use protection. You don't want to end up pregnant. If your not ready then be honest with him and tell him your not ready and explain to him why. He obviously loves you he has been with you for 2 years and you haven't had sex yet.

Answer 9

If you feel that you are ready to lose your virginity then go for it. But also make sure that your relationship with your boyfriends is true and strong, although I'm sure it is because you have been together for 2 years.

Just do what you think its right, and I'm sure just because your a virgin you shouldn't hold back.

Answer 10

Is he a virgin too? If not, is he tested? Does he know you're a virgin? are you comfortable and ready? Will you use protection? Does it go against your moral or religious ideals (if they do you'll probably regret it)? You need to be completely honest with him and make sure he's completely honest with you. Also, if you WANT to do it, then go for it, but if not, then wait. It should be a mutual thing, not something as a result of pressure. It has to be special to both of you :) And make sure you use protection!!!

Answer 11

1) are you ready?
2) do you like him that you are willing to give up your virginity?
3) how memorable do you want your first time to be?

If you answer those with definate answers, then you must decide if he is the one. Lossing one's virginity should be special, not something you let others pick for you or tell you what to do.

If you do decide, tell him to be gentle and slow. Your first time will be slightly painful and depending on his experience level, it can be either really enjoyable and memorable or a disaster.

1) make sure he wears protection
2) try foreplay- kissing, nibbling, fingering, oral (him serving you)
3) gentle thrusts, if he just goes in for the kill, stop him at the pass...Tell him you want it to be special...Go with missionary, if he wants it doggie style or any other fashion, kick him to the curb...you want to look into his eyes and he should want to look into yours.

Good luck...of course you don't have to say yes...Ultimately, the decision should rest upon your shoulders.

Be smart and strong!