Is it wrong that I don't?

Question

Reply to my father's emails,or talk to him on the phone when he calls?

He moved to Floida when i was 7 and was a raging alcoholic.

Someones trying to put a guilt trip on me,what do you think?

xx

Tebo,I'm not religious. My father not only drank but did drugs,threw the food out if he didnt like it and cheated on my mom. I don't think i have to honor him at all.

Answer 1

in the same boat as your partner. i choose not to talk to mine for the same reason. dont listen to what other people say. if you want to talk to him go for it. if not, thats your business. he is the father. in my opinion, he should be doing the owning up and communicating. but maybe i am just saying that because i have a similar situation

Answer 2

I can understand that this is confusing for you. Try and respond to his emails ask him questions if you have some. At 7yrs old you can think one thing and it could be different. I'm not saying that what you remember isn't true, but that maybe he's done some changes in his life. I hope so. About the guilt trip you haven't done anything wrong. Remind him you were a young child. He was and still is the adult. Concentrate on what you may want to know and talk about that. If and when you think this is something to continue then you may want to speak to him. But this would be your choice. Don't feel bad if you decide to not speak to him. If you don't want any questions answered then try and put this behind you. But either way let him know your decision. Hope this helps some. Good luck.

Answer 3

Do you want a relationship with him? If so, give him the benefit of the doubt and reply the next time he contacts you. Don't rush into a full blown relationship right away. Take things slow, he should earn your trust and respect.

Tell him that you would like to eventually have a father/daughter relationship, but he needs to understand that it won't happen overnight, and that you have to able to forgive him before that can happen.

Remember, he was the adult, you were child, what ever happened to him was not your fault. He is responsible for his own actions. I hope this helps in your decision, good luck and take care.

Answer 4

Ask yourself if it's worth it to give your father another shot. If he was abusive, physically or emotionally, and you just find it too painful or too difficult to answer his calls and e-mails then you should not feel guilty at all. He made his choices when you were younger and now that he wants to be in your life he thinks you should just accept him back and that's not the way things work. If you want your father to be in your life and pick up the phone or open an e-mail and tell him how you feel. You can talk once in awhile and keep the conversations short and casual until your father earns back your trust. It's all up to you.

Answer 5

.............. listen

my dad cheated on my mom, commited grand theft auto twice, GOT ENGAGED to someone else WHILE he was married to my mom. he stole money from my mom to take his mistress on a tropical vacation. he's a used car salesman who stole money from the elderly on when they paid for their cars. my mom obviously divorced him, and he didnt pay any child support for me EVER. good thing my mom was smart and had several science degrees so she could have a great job to support us. he would visit me until i was about 4. then he would say he was coming and never showed up. when i was about 8 he did come... with a new wife and daughter who just happened to be the same age as me. that was the last time he came....... now, ill be 14 on Christmas day, and just a few months ago he sent with my grandparents (his parents) all of these gifts.... $300 abercrombie gift card, laptop, and a very expensive tennis racket. im really confused, just as you. He sent a card, but didnt apologize in it, he just said i miss you here's my number if you want to call me. i didnt know about everything he did until that say when my mom and step dad (who adopted me so i guess hes my real dad) told me. My new dad led us to Jesus Christ, which is the best desicion that i ever had made or will make. Through Him, i've learned to forgive my father, even if he will never really love me. But i'm not choosing to correspond with him. maybe if he apologizes, you can forgive him, but day that you dont want to have a correspondance with him, and cut ot off there.



much love and sympathy.

Answer 6

It's not wrong at all. I'll do you one better. I was tired of my biological sperm donor and alcoholic calling me with the guilt trip. So I mailed him a note, telling him not to contact me anymore because there's no reason for him to be in my life, then I blocked his number (ask your phone company, should be a free service) and you can block his emails. Haven't heard from him since, it's been 9 years. Feels liberating.

Answer 7

i don't know your whole story. do you want an relationship with your father? do you feel like he's not your "dad" (ie just the sperm donor)? if it's something that you still have issues with you might want to talk to him a little bit just to put the past behind you so you can move on with your life. just some thoughts. i'm not here to say what's right or wrong. i'm not in your shoes. do whatever you feel is right.

Answer 8

I think he would certainly have to repent to you and your family and try to mend the relationship which he threw away. You have every right to be bitter, but on the other hand, he may have cleaned up his act and might be asking for forgiveness.

Answer 9

He IS your father. True, he has wronged you, but you must forgive him and honor him. The Bible says, "honor your father and your mother, that your life may go well." Trust me, I cut off my father and mother for 3 years. It was the worsted mistake of my life! If you don't honor him, you WILL regret it later. Take it from someone who has been there and done that. And most of all, take if from the word of God himself...the Bible.

Answer 10

Maybe he's gone through the 12 steps, if he is or has, give him a chance, if not, then tell him you'll talk with him when he does, and don't feel guilty, he's the one with the problem.