What do you do when your husband lies to you about looking at porn.?

Question

Don't get me wrong...I am not all together against it...it is just when it cuts into the portions that I receive..it really bothers me. Ok...he agreed with me and this wasn't a shouting match or anything like that...that he would lay off of it for a little while. Everything was great between us, intimacy, hugs the guy I fell in love with came back. A few days ago he bagan with the distance, and just seemed weird to me. Anyhow today I sit down at our computer to begin working and these porn pop ups start. I look in the cookies to see what has been going on. I asked him and he said he hadn't been. Then he admitted it, then he called me a mother hen for looking over his shoulder.....i don't think I was. Anyhow, what in the devil do you make of this?

For those of you who think I don't join him in it...I do....

Answer 1

Most men will wanna hide the fact that they look as porn if you wanna make you man feel more comfortable about it and not have him thinking your spying on him then watch some porn with him so you both can get turned out at the same time and you wont miss out on you portions.

Answer 2

Some men while satisfied by their wives cannot help but have that need to look, for something new and exciting. Allot of men have seriously short attention spans. It's not an excuse.
But I have a girlfriend who's husband does the same thing, they make love on a very regular basis but he still goes to he computer when she's not around. Some have overactive sex drives, others are seriously late bloomers.
I'm not sure where your husband falls into but the reason he denied it at first is probably because he as ashamed or embaressed. Women are encouraged to embrace their sexuality and desires while men are taught to surpress such feelings.
Try talking to him about possibly going online togeather. Or sending him 'naughty' emails at work. This should create the same sexual excitement that he gets from looking at online porn.
If you can get him to open up to you about his fantasies and desires it will bring you both closer as a couple and possibly put a damper on the internet thing.
Or worse case if this goes unchecked he could have an online affair (which is how my girlfriend found out).
I really hope this helps.

Answer 3

HOLY COW!!!! Let me first say that he is kinda right about the mother hen thing. BUT, he gave you the reason to be looking ( even if that wasn't your intent). Without getting toooo personal, how was ya'lls sex life before? Sometimes we tend to get into a kind of "sexual routine" were it's sex, yea, but no variety. Try putting on something alittle "risque" and surprising him when he gets home from work. Something else you might try, tell him he can masturbate to porn all he wants, as long as you can watch!!! See how that works for you. If you have any other questions, just give me a holler.


Peace and God Bless!!!

Answer 4

He may be fulfilling fantasies through actors rather than the local tramp next door. Often times women sees what's not there, oppose to what is. You have a guy that would rather watch porn at home rather than at a strip club or away from home, say at another women's home. That's a good thing. Rather that tell him to quit, allow him to quit on his own. If he sees it bothers you, he will either stop or don't in your presence, but when he wants to, not being told to. Why not see what kind he looks at, as much as you can bear, and attempt to surprise him by dressing and maybe acting out what he apparently likes. If you respect his tastes, rather than criticize them, then he won't feel the need to lie. Women forces men to lie by the way they react to the truth. And you were being a mother hen. I hate that myself. Simply for the fact that if he's going to do something, you can't prevent it. And many times you can make it worse because that may prompt him from doing the opposite of what you want out of spite. If you love him, love him enough to trust him. Love him enough to let him go if need be. But the respect thing is the biggest problem. Tracking his steps says you don't respect him enough to make correct judgments

Answer 5

so what is it that you're upset about? If the problem is that you aren't getting enough attention from him in bed, then you need to have an open and honest discussion about how things in the bedroom can be improved. If that's what your problem is, then you're not really upset about the porn. But it sounds like you're just starting to feel inadequate and insecure. It's good that you take part in it with him because that can be very satisfying.
What would I do... as your question asks; well first, trying to control someone or something they do will only backfire, so I would try not to do that. Honestly, I would just let it go, don't put him in a position where he feels like he has to lie to you in order to avoid dissappointing you. But if the problem is really that you aren't sexually satisfied, then work on that and don't focus on whether he's looking at porn.
I do understand how you feel though, my ex-husband and I had no sex life and instead of working on it we just gave up, and as we did that, he started looking at porn more and more. I went to bed by myself and he would stay up for hours looking at porn and in chat rooms, which led to me feeling more and more dettached and disgusted by him, but it wasn't pron that ruined it, problems were there before.

Answer 6

As a guy, I can see where your husband is coming from. Just because he is looking at porn doesn't necessarily mean he's doing it for sexual reasons. Many guys watch porn for the entertainment value, because they are bored, etc. Also, it could be a comfort thing if he's stressed out at work or something. In other words, looking at porn does not nessesarily mean that he is sexually frustrated.

Definitely try sitting him down and having a relaxed conversation. Try to ask him why he looks at it. It's also possible that hes addicted to porn. This is actually quite common among men. You might want to check out http://www.no-porn.com/ or ask him to visit that site. It has a lot of links to porn addiction websites, articles, tips, etc.

Finally, looking at your husbands history may not be the best thing for you to do. You know that he is looking at porn so why make the situation worse (for both of you) by looking at the sites he is visiting?

Good luck

Answer 7

confident depart him on my own he's no longer doing genuine women human beings at the back of your decrease back and the greater youthful suitable physique females that prefer to do issues which you fairly no longer dont come out of the reveal and touch him and that they in all likelihood does not supply him the time of day in the event that they by using some fairly minute possibility bumped into him in public and he's no longer spending all his greater money on lap dances on the strip club who's the sexiest superstar you wouldnt suggestions doing you share your sexual fantasies approximately different adult men including your husband and might he react such as you in all likelihood might jealous and insecure some what's so incorrect with him having some private pastime that he's no longer sharing with anybody yet himself is he meant to offer up all individuality and rights to very own moments or masterbation through fact he's now married community assets while you're nonetheless taking area in an lively intercourse existence then you definitely would desire to evaluate respecting his suitable to observe porn and surf the internet how might you experience if he replaced into snooping by using your issues and might you prefer to have intercourse with some insecure busybody hounding you like a discern

Answer 8

Sounds like a big case of compulsion to me. Therapy is in order. It's amazing, isn't it, how something so 'normal' that 'all guys do' can tear into the intimacy of a relationship? It sickens me the unhealthy things our society teaches our young men.

***Give me a break! He is NOT looking for better ways to please you! When was the last time a porno taught anything about a woman's pleasure?! Geeeez! People justify this any way they possibly can.***

***Um, hello! Yes, his 'hobby' is hurting her! Did you not read that part? No one will ever convince me that porn is 'normal and natural'. I would rather be single for the rest of my days then be with a man who indulges to the point of it interfering in my relationship. No woman should ever have to take second place in her partner's life.***

Answer 9

One of my good friends is in a similar situation. Although her fiance would much rather watch porn and get off that way than do anything with her. I think it is a sexual problem that some men have with watching porn. He will lie about it as well. It sounds like he should talk to someone about this problem he has with porn. It is not a bad thing but when he feels like he has to lie about it is when I think they have a problem.

Answer 10

HUMMM...He is a man. Men like porn and it is hard for them to admit this even to his wife. They fear women may see them as a perv or something. They are embarrass that you may see him enjoying looking at another women and he may not want to see you checking out another mans tools. All men go through this stage in their life. The good news is he'll get over it and may share these things with you. Don't make a big deal out of this let him enjoy the porn, you know what he is doing and he isn't hurting anybody. Now if he cheating with somebody then you can make all the fuss you want.

Answer 11

If it's cutting into your time then thats not cool; maybe he is getting a little bored doing the same thing, with porn there are endless fantasy fulfillment opportunities. He may be uncomfortable sharing some of those with you if you don't have an open dialog without judgment and criticism. Shake it up a little and ask him about his fantasies and sexual desires and share yours with him as well. A little effort goes a long way