How do you stop questioning everything they do and stop checking their email, phone calls, etc? I want to trust someone who hurt me but I'm not sure how to start/
2007-11-30 11:35:10 · 15 answers · asked by torn 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
To make it work, you're going to have to stop yourself from checking everything they do but at the same time, they need to refrain from doing things that will arouse suspicion. If they were conversing with the "other" person via email, then they need to stop using email except for absolute necessities, somehting that is rare for most people. If they cheated after work with someone, they need to come home on time, you get the idea. You don't need to be checking their email, phone calls, workplaces and so on, they are the ones that betrayed you and the burden of rebuilding that trust falls upon them. Don't go punishing them forever because that is self defeating, if you can't back off, the you might as well call it quits now.
2007-11-30 11:46:04 · answer #1 · answered by bikinkawboy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You again believe in the person, but that takes time as they must earn the trust. Sorry, but I believe it is fine to check the emails, phone calls and such as the person is willing to show you they have nothing to hide; and it does help with the healing. You will eventually not even care about checking any of these things. Give yourself time and give the person who betrayed you time to show you they can be trusted again.
It is very possible to trust again; I know if for a fact.
2007-11-30 15:19:53 · answer #2 · answered by pussycat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats with time, in order for you to stop doing all those things, they are the ones that are suppose to give the trust in the first place. Trust is earned by time. It is hard, believe me, and i understand you. But the only answer is time and the effort they put in as well.
2007-11-30 11:40:22 · answer #3 · answered by SaberToothCali 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand what you mean very well. It'd awfully difficult, impossible for me to trust somebody who'd cheat on me, I don't believe if forgiving, you can forgive but not forget. If I was you I'd end that mental torture leaving that relationship. Be honest to yourself. You married him but you don't have to deal forever with the consequences of his mistakes. Marriage is not a strait jacket. He hurt you, he violated your trust, and that's the reality of this situation. Don't believe in what people tell you about forgiving him, that's a simplistic, unreal advice, forgiving betrayal ? yeah, alright...as if it was like snapping the fingers and voila ! , trust your heart, your mind, if they tell you that you cannot live for the rest of your life with your husband distrusting him, get a divorce, and move on. He violated the marriage vows, not you, deal with it. Good luck !
2007-11-30 11:54:40 · answer #4 · answered by Idon'tlivehere 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gosh this could be a nightmare of a concern for you isn't it? such as you pronounced no one can opt for for you yet i actually believe that all and sundry makes blunders, some larger than others. From what you're saying your husband is truly sorry and is attempting desperately to place issues proper. in case you nonetheless love him then you owe it not in ordinary terms to your self yet on your little ones additionally to attempt and make issues artwork. Your mum is hectic approximately you and needs to guard you in ordinary terms such as you may with your little ones yet i don't believe that she could actually disown you in case you desperate to circulate forward and attempt to make issues artwork. merely such as you may not abandon the guy you like, she will have the capacity to not abandon you. not whilst push includes shove. the massive question is, are you able to forgive him and can you ever believe him lower back?? Will you regularly be checking the laptop whilst he's out of ways? in case you may answer those questions unquestionably then you stand a scuffling with possibility, if not then you could desire to think of long and perplexing approximately what you stand to lose by attempting lower back. good luck even if you come to a sort.
2016-10-09 23:30:01 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
like they say its easier to loose trust than to earn it and really hard to get that trust back after you betrayed that trust in the first place.
it will take a long time and in the end alot of times the trust is never earned back.
2007-11-30 14:43:14 · answer #6 · answered by Jecht 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The worst thing you can do is keep listening to other people tell you things about that person.
It is hard to trust them because your feelings are hurt and you put up a barrier to protect your self and your emotions.
Open up to your partner and express your feelings and that will help both of you to overcome your situation.
You both have to be open minded.
2007-11-30 11:48:34 · answer #7 · answered by M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the two of you need to get into counseling, and stick to it, for at the very least, a year - to work on your trust issues. If one or the other won't go - then there is a good chance tha ttrust will never be repaired.
2007-11-30 11:42:29 · answer #8 · answered by allrightythen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him why you should trust him, ask him what has changed. When he gives you a good answer you will feel calm about the relationship again. If nothing has changed you can't help feeling suspicious.
2007-11-30 11:50:51 · answer #9 · answered by Shelly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it takes time to for starters. and also this person has to be working on earning your trust again. meaning, they can't be doing stuff thats gonna make you think they are up to their old tricks.
if this person is willing to change their behavior, it makes learning to trust again all the more easier.
2007-11-30 12:22:55 · answer #10 · answered by Mrs Jackson - West 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋