do u have any tips for my poem..? anything i should improve? what do you think of it?

Question

*I Hate myself for loving you*

Can you still remember the night when the moon and stars shone oh, so bright?
I held your hand and you held mine, together for the very first time
I felt your lips upon my neck, a soft yet warm feeling, it rushed to my head
Slowly, turning to a wreck.
Needless to say
I have to pay
A price that'll never fade
Now as i stand on this earth so wide
What can i say?
What can i do?
Is there anything to hide this pain that just never seems to go away.
I woke up this morning, and realised, it was me who ******* up my own life
I'm now looking through a dirty window, gazing through the haze, thinking about the day i last saw your face.
Nothing i can say
Nothing i can do
can take away all the pain you put me through
Heartbreak stained my life, ***** you.
Why didn't you just kill me with your long sharp knife?
Anything you say
Anything you do
Will only just remind me of how much i intensely hate you.

Do you like my poem? Sorry if my swearing offended anyone...

Answer 1

Well, you never mentioned why you hate yourself for loving her. What did she do that caused you to feel that way, incorporate that into your verse some where and tighten up some of the loose sentence structure. some of it seems to be open ended.