A person who I used to trust almost raped me. He is my husband's friend! Help!!?

Question

I went to my friend's Halloween party this year without my husband. He knew I was going. He had gone hunting. I knew everyone there and they were all my friends. I got a little tipsy, and the next thing I know, I was cornered by a guy and my costume was being pulled off. I felt like I couldn't move (maybe he put something in my drink). The only thing that stopped him was another friend coming into the room and yelling at him. The worst part is this guy is one of my husband's close friends, he was even in our wedding!! He was always some one I though i could trust. I scared to tell my husband. I'm worried he might literaly try and kill his friend. but I don't want him to stay friend with this looser either. any suggestions?

Answer 1

sometimes things do happen between people that parties and alcohol make happen. forget it. you were not raped, and nothing really happened. number one rule is : do not ever be alone with a man like that. you can drink go to a party and have fun, but what were you doing alone with him? were you in the bathroom and he barged in on you and suddenly you could not move.....??? sounds weird. forget it ever happened, and dont throw the rape word around, it makes trouble. and accusing him of drugging you, how could he do that unless you were very close to him that evening. ? forget it and i will tell you why, if your husband confronts him, he will just tell your husband you came on to him. a woman never ever wins this one. never. avoid him in the future and learn from this. chalk it up to experience. if he tells your husband tell him you have no memory of it;

Answer 2

First of all if you really think you were violated, you absolutely need to share with your husband, and then report it. Your husband loves you and cares for your well being or he wouldn't have married you, so you need to trust that he will have your back on this one. You may be feeling guilty for not being as in control as you think you should have been (alcohol will do that), but no matter how tipsy or uninhibited you were, no one has a right to put their hands on you. The most important part is to make sure that this guy isn't in the picture anymore, it will only continue to hurt you. Share this with your husband in a clam manner that assures him that you are a grown woman and handled it, and nothing happened. This way he doesn't need to be the hero. Hope this helps, Good luck.

Answer 3

Interesting; you got drunk but you accuse him of putting something in your drink? Maybe you should take some personal responsibility? Rape is never a woman's fault, but I think you should be mature about this and not just act like some innocent little victim. You were drunk, women tend to get flirty when they drink, he was probably also drunk and not thinking clearly. Maybe he thought you were giving him signals. You didn't even say if you remember telling him no/stop/get away. You say this person is someone you've always trusted and is a close friend of your husband's; I think you should be mature about this and sit down with the guy in a public place and talk about what happened.

Answer 4

Let a little time pass and let things cool down. The next time this guy asks to come over your house or wants to get together with you and your husband, I would bow out or make an excuse. Your husband my question your motives and then I am sorry to say, I would definitely tell him what his friend did. He cannot continue to have a friendship with a guy who tried to rape his wife...What kind of respect is that between friends?

Answer 5

You should tell your husband. Tell him before his friend tells him something different. Maybe his friend need a good a@# kickin'. Obviously his friend has no respect for either of you. So don't worry about what ur husband's gonna do to his friend, worry about what ur husband's gonna do to you if his friend tells him something different and you don't want that to happen.
You should've told ur husband that same night it happened. But don't wait any longer, tell him now. Don't be scared to tell ur husband cause u didn't do anything wrong.
Hope everything turns out good!!!!
You need to report it so the jerk doesn't try to do it to anyone else.

Answer 6

What your husband did to you is misguided! interestingly he thinks of you as some variety of intercourse toy that he can do what he needs with, and without your awareness or consent. I an not one to throw in the towel whilst marriages are in possibility, yet this, this is only to horrific! save going to the counseling, it rather is significant to on your psychological and actual wellbeing besides. while you at the instant are not mentally and bodily "extra healthful", than your moods etc.. are altered and you will't think of needless to say. take it sluggish by ability of your self. Pull your self collectively so which you're able to make a rational determination on you very own approximately what's sweet for you right here, not for HIM or each physique else.

Answer 7

Oh honey! I am sorry that happened to you. You need to tell your husband and the police! press charges and dont let him get away with this! If youand your husband have a close relationship where you guys can talk about everything without him blowing up than you need to be honest. If you dont tellhim and someone else does he will be upset with you for not bing honest. Girl I wish I could take your place. Good luck

Answer 8

Geez! Why wouldn't you want your husband to kill him?? If you are protecting this guy from shedding the light on his actions and possibly prosecution, then you are part of what he did. And you are partially responsible for any other women/girl he rapes in the future. If you do nothing, you are not very smart or confident, and I have no pity for you.....pretty bad when you lose the support of other women! Get a clue, sweetie.

Answer 9

You need to tell your husband and the police. It is not ok when people do this kind of stuff your husbands friend or not!!! This is like the worst kind of sexual harsment. If you dont tell your husband or the athoritey he'll think its ok to try again and you dont want that to happen do you??? Good luck and dont wait to tell your husband!!!

Answer 10

Yeah, you should tell your husband and maybe have him come to the police station with you. Who gives a crap if he tries to kill the guy?! Any guy would if he found out some dude raped his wife. Go tell your husband.