paitance is really wearing thin ,hoping its just a whole ,someone else is getting moms attention thing, and will start to respect me a lil more............any advise?
2007-11-30 11:11:32 · 10 answers · asked by kerrywadepowell 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
If you are serious about this lady, take the time to put the problem on the table, it is not going to get better. Sounds like the child does this routinely as you mentioned he does it to her also.So, that makes it a parenting issue no matter what, now i would think mom would be recognizing this if she is a responsible parent, to begin with.Sounds like counseling is in order for them and all of you if you have any idea of making this a permanent thing, If not, and you don't want to deal with it, move on now, for your sake as well as hers and the young fellow. Because it is not going to get better magically, just worse.
2007-11-30 11:23:48 · answer #1 · answered by do.drop 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You'll need to earn his trust and respect, but if the Mom doesn'vet have really good discipline I doubt you'll get far. They crave routine and when it changes it's kinda hard for a kid to really know where he belongs. In school I would guess he does fine, they have routines to follow and it is the same everyday. Kids genuinally do better with a daily routine, for example: Wake up brush teeth, get out of jammies and into clothes, go eat breakfast, get books together and jacket on. The more smoothly it runs in your home and same everyday, the more comfortable a child is in his own skin.
Do you know what I mean? If one day you woke up ate breakfast then mom said ok now go get dressed and his normal schedule was something else, it is conflicting and then a parent will rush then and it's like WHERE DO I GO????? It's hard on a kid not to have a daily routing. Look at schools..... Everyday each thing is in order, they know whats next, it's easy.
I have 3 kids, 8,10, and 12. With my 8 and 10 year old the day they ubderstood the routine the easier it became, no more frustrations, no one feels confused about anything. Am I confusing you totally now? LOL. routinr, routine, routine, even in the evenings, homework, snack, TV or games> dinner, bath, teeth, and so on. It is something every kid CRAVES but doesn't know it.
It may take a month but once they get used to it they will relax more and feel as though they have a place in your home and relax, he may also be wanting the attention and thats fine, it's part of life, and I would feel the same if I were in his shoes. If I was with Mom all this time and all of a sudden someone appeared in their lives , its a change and it takes time. It's tough for everyone but in time he will adjust, be firm but not mean, realize how he feels and give him his alone time with Mom on occasion.
He is at a rough age anyway, my 8 yr old son is struggling in school it's a year of responisility in school and organization and it's so hard, and so just hang in there this too will pass. :D
Let him know your there for him when he needs help with his homework, thats the most wonderful way to bond with him right now, they get a lot of it and DO NEED HELP! This is the Multiplication and Division year and it's tough.
2007-11-30 19:28:28 · answer #2 · answered by darlin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't beg a kid to like you. But I'm a nanny, and I try to watch what they watch, and play what they play so that I can relate to them. I even read some of their books. Why don't you find something that you two can relate to. Maybe then he'd realize that you just want to be his friend, you're not trying to take his mom away. If he's rude to her as well, he's probably angry that she has someone else in her life. Maybe she should give him some more attention. Good Luck.
2007-11-30 19:17:30 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
I would be nice to him. You're not his dad yet, but still, help your girlfriend to tell him who's boss. Be harder on him. When you tell him to do something, say it firmly. If he resists, take away something he likes to do, such as a video game or the computer.
When you punish him, if he starts to cry, don't give in. If you let him start calling the shots you'll be in for a rough life if you keep up this relationship with your girlfriend.
You're the adult. He's the kid. He needs to grasp that concept.
2007-11-30 19:16:29 · answer #4 · answered by Erin 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
If the mom agrees, try stepping in with the raising, disciplining, and being part of the "family". Step kids are rough. This kid is trying to piss you off so you will leave your girlfriend, and he is trying to piss your girlfriend off so she will leave you. He needs some real guidance and attention. You may want to try taking him on some sort of an outing to build trust in the relationship. I wish you all the luck in the world.
2007-11-30 19:16:34 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
join the club my bf's 10 yr old is the same im hoping time but its only been 3 mths so ive been told it can take years good luck patience is the only anwer i can give u. is he only rude when u r around
2007-11-30 19:17:45 · answer #6 · answered by rita 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
get a few copies of "Super Nanny" and watch how she corrects those misbehaving kids. It takes some serious introspection to see where YOU have gone wrong to create a kid who behaves that way, but if youre open to change and correcting your own behavior, her advice can work miracles!
I think its wonderful that you want to bond with this kid.
Later: Im shocked Im getting thumbs down for this answer...
2007-11-30 19:16:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
My advise is you are not ready to be a role model or father figure to this child.
Good luck.
2007-11-30 19:14:44 · answer #8 · answered by box of rain 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Hit him so hard just once and say pull that sh*t with me again and i will kill you! You understand me! Im gonna kill you!
That will get the point across good and strong.
2007-11-30 19:15:47 · answer #9 · answered by Castle 2 · 1⤊ 4⤋
tell ur gf about this, she'll understand and sit him down and tell him if he's not nice he'll have consequences, ok? that should help, like wat does he like? football? nintendo? tv? computer? if hes mean take something away from him
2007-11-30 19:14:44 · answer #10 · answered by Swimmergirl 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋