My fiance is white (italian) and im black?

Question

I am with a great guy we are both soldiers in the army and we both take great care of each other and love each other but it seems like everytime we go somewhere we have problems. For example last weekend we went out somewhere and some guys kept whistling at me then asking me why im with a white boy while he was right there of course i told them please dont do that and held his hand but it just made the problem worse...it caused major problems and we all got kicked out (if you know what i mean) then at the mall yesterday i actually had a caucasian woman come in between us and start talking to him like i was not even there?!! Then i said excuse me and she looked at me like i was bothering her until he grabbed me and kissed me then she looked at me like i was disgusting! Its getting so tiresome sometimes i just want to give up...what would be someones advice for that? I mean comments are one thing but downright disrespect and violence is really causing problems.

Answer 1

Please do not let this effect your relationship. do not let the ignorant control your feelings. next time someone says that to you as in the bar tell them because he isn't as childish and close minded as you. and as for the girl in the mall, beat her as#,..j/k i think you guys handled that one very fine. just realize that these people obviously are just jealous, and smile and remember what you both have together.

Answer 2

Look inward and find the happy place that made you love that guy in the first place. Don't ever sway far enough to let other people's hang-ups interfere. Your reality is the perception you have of life, so remember that these people are not worthy of either your attention, or your energy. Just don't let them into the soft centre of your world. From many years of experience, here's how you can shut them out:

Whenever someone tries to confront you, try to be strong for the one you love (this could also be needed for your children in the future too). Do everything within your power to take him by the hand, look him in the eye, smile at him, and focus on what is good and right and important for your own happiness. When other people see the kind of connection the two of you have, that allows you to display that kind of inner strength in the face of adversity, they will leave you alone. It's only fun for them if they get a rise out of you anyway.

Answer 3

I'm married to a white guy. He's unbelievably wonderful to me and I don't know how I'd get along without him.

Sure we encounter some crap with other black people and other white people, but at the end of the day our opinions are the only ones that matter.

I will admit that your problems seem far worse than mine have ever been, and I'm very sorry that you have to put up with "people" like that. I know it's difficult, but you should ignore them. People like that can't be changed. Once they're ignored, once they see that they can do no damage to you, they will leave you alone.

The reason people behave this way when they see interracial couples is because they are intimidated. The image of an interracial relationship is not one that they can understand, so they act out in anger. It's quite immature, actually.

I tell my husband that I put interracial relationships right after homosexual relationship on the level of respect they get from society. He laughed and said that it wasn't that bad. I wish I had his optimism.

I wish you and your fiance the best of luck!

Answer 4

I hate black people I'm white and I'm racist and proud. You are ignorant you should marry someone who's from your race, another black female. Not a white female. It's not normal and it insults the white race. Your fiance is a disgrace to my kind. She's a traitor for being with you because you're just a peasant and she is probably from an upper class family. You disgust me

Answer 5

If you love this man, then whatever anyone else says or does shouldn't matter. Unfortunately there is no shortage of small minded people in this world, and if they aren't bothering you about being part of an interracial couple they will find something else. Just remember not everyone is like this, and once you leave the army there's every possibility that you both may find a nice place to live where nobody cares about the difference in you skin color. I wish you both the very best of luck. God Bless-judy

Answer 6

Being as soldier myself and have a close Friend that is in a interracial marriage, They had a beautiful daughter last year, Flip said it was hard at first because of worrying about what her family thought of him, but they accepted him openly, and he got where he does not care what anyone else thinks. With both of you being in the military especially you since you are a woman, it will be hard. I know another couple she ended up getting out and it worked out better for them. The thing if you love him, and he treats you right, what does it matter about everyone one Else's hang up. as for those guys you should of said hey your butt would chase after some Blondie girl in a minute, so who are you to talk. Good luck to you.

MO

Answer 7

People are gonna be people. They're going to judge you regardless! One thing you have to do is over-look the complete ignorance of it all. Now I know this is much easier said than done, but the love that you and your fiance share will help you through it. When you walk down the street holding hands, act like yall are the only ones around! If people make stupid comments pretend like it doesn't faze you at all! Keep walking and smiling! You are, obviously, in love with this man so I wouldn't even give one care what other people said.

Answer 8

Hey, listen. I am half white and half black. I was adopted by a Caucasian couple and my sister is also biracial, like I am. People are going to stare. I get stares all the time when I'm out with my parents, and people constantly are asking me what I'm mixed with.

I've noticed that Italian men love black women! It almost seems like more white men are getting with black women than the opposite nowadays. Don't let it bother you. You know you're better than other people for being more open-minded than they are.

Answer 9

Don't give up on him because of ignorant people around you. I'm afraid I can't relate personally, but I just do not understand why people just cannot mind their own business with other people's relationship.. It's incredibly uncivilised in my opinion.

Do your best to ignore them, you're much better than them for seeing past the colour of a persons skin, they're narrowminded people and don't deserve a second thought.

Have you both discussed this problem and is it like really affecting (or effect, not sure lol) the relationship itself or just when you're out in public? Either way I'm sure it causes enough stress.

Good luck with your relationship.

Answer 10

Alexis, I have gone through the same thing, but I dont post them here a lot because people start calling me 'racist'. Anyway, you have to stand up for what you believe in and that includes that which is rightfully yours (your relationship with your fiancee). You should let those white girls know next time that they CANNOT disrespect you by interrupting when you are with YOUR boyfriend, and if they claim to be unaware of that, at least they know now! Those immature men you mention will probably have nothing to be hopeful in the future about.... I wouldnt waste my time worrying over my interracial relationship over idiots like that.

Answer 11

WOW this sounds like something that would have happened in the 1960's.

As difficult as it might be, just try to ignore these ignorant people. Do not give up. Love and happiness knows no color or ethnicity. As long as you and your fiance are happy together, it doesn't matter what anybody else thinks.

I wish the two of you the very best!