White folks, would you have been offended by this?

Question

Yesterday, a white co-worker of mine came into our company's conference room while my boss (a black lady) and another co-worker of mine (also black) were sitting in the room. My boss turns to the white lady and jokingly tries to chide her for coming into the room. She said, "Look here whitey!" She was laughing and smiling the whole time and then proceeded to tell the lady to go around the back of the table, "Like you made us to all those years."
White people, would that have offended you?
And black folks, what would you have said/done in this situation?
Thanks for the replies!

Just for the record, I spoke with the white co-worker this morning. I told her that I felt the incident was totally inappropriate and that I do not condone that behavior. I was absolutely offended by what my boss had said.
I have been called out of my name because of my race before and I know what it feels like, so I'm super sensitive to these types of situations.
The co-worker said that she was not offended. I was astounded!
(I didn't want to influence anyone's answers by including these details up front as I thought people would say, "She wasn't offended, so why should you be?". In my personal experience, I was highly offended when it happened to me and I was just wondering if other whites would be upset by this.)

When I wrote the phrase "would other whites" I am not referring to myself. I am asking if whites - other than MY COWORKER - would have been offended. I have better things to do with my time than "pose" as someone else.
If I had said FELLOW whites, that would have been different. Get a life people! If you don't have anything interesting to contribute, don't bother answering the question. Be an adult.

Answer 1

Shelby,
I see the inappropriateness that you speak of and I can only speak for myself when I say that I would personally not even ponder such a statement about any person different from me - this too includes another persons weight or disability.

I think YOU need to be commended for what you attempted to say to your colleague. Your colleague also said she was not offended so I would leave it "there" with her. As far as the boss is concerned I would have a personal one on one with her and let her know your thoughts on the matter.

I can't honestly tell you here whether I would of been offended or not - I am usually the type of person that sits back and think/ponder/reflect on statements anyway. If I had been offended I would have kept it to myself, if I had not been offended I too would have kept that to myself - in the end I would have just maintained a neutral stance and no one would have known my thoughts on the matter.

You are a very decent caring person.

Gerry :)

Answer 2

For most white people, this happens so infrequently that it doesn't measure up much as a problem. If it's a pattern, getting singled out for one's appearance, then it's a problem, unless everyone in the group agrees this is acceptable behavior.

I used to be the only pale-pink person at work, and my boss was always making comments about white people to me. He was a real jerk about most things, too, but when he made his racial comments, I always had an answer for him, not defensive, but I agreed when I wanted and disagreed when I wanted. Otherwise, I wouldn't have lasted very long in that job.

Incidentally, it was a school with no white students, and about half of my students felt comfortable making racial statements about whites in my presence, some of them clearly trying to needle me, and some out of ignorance and/or curiosity. Since I was the teacher, I had the chance to spread around a little tolerance and understanding, so taking offence would have been shooting myself in the foot.

Anyway, taking offense is a weak position, and wherever you do it, you've got to be pretty sure you're right before you go down that road.

That's part of what makes offensive speech so hard for many people to bear - they know they're powerless, and they're afraid of responding and of not responding.

People in positions of power, no matter their color, should therefore also think carefully before making any racial or otherwise offensive comments.

Answer 3

I don't think i would have been offended but upset because if the situation was diff rent the black woman would have been offended. that is the only problem I have. I think it kinda sucks that blacks can joke with whites but whites cant joke with blacks! I think were all just people at the end of the day

Answer 4

Depends on the relationship between the co-workers. If they were close friends, probably not. If they were strictly co-workers, yes. They don't know one another well enough to joke like that. Having said that, friends or not, things like that should not be done in the work place period. It is unprofessional and could really cause harassment issues if a person who can not or will not joke and does become offended hears it. Offense is in the feeling of the one being offended, not the one using the word or action, HR law teaches this. You must be careful and professional at all times!

Answer 5

HA no it wouldn't offend me and i'd still sit where ever i pleased, i never take anything like that at face value unless the situation is forced. i can laugh about being white, i love to match wits with people. i'm also not one of those folks who are shy about firing back a few of my own either

Answer 6

I would not have been offended no, but here in England, one only has to make the slightest remark about black people and they scream racial discrimination, England has to make so many changes because the black people find so many things offensive things that really are not meant to be offensive, that we have had around for years, we find are taken away from us. Yet, if we scream racial abuse we get no notice taken of us. Me, I let things go over the top of my head and when people are making nasty remarks I just think, you sad people, still you will be judged one day

Answer 7

It probably would have offended me but I probably just would have laughed it off. There are times when I've felt left out because I'm white...and I can imagine that I'd feel that way in this situation. So, it wouldn't be because of the joke she made about us white people doing them wrong - but it would be because I felt left out or made fun of in some way.

I think it would depend on my relationship with the boss, too. My boss is black and she would NEVER do or say something like that, but I have so much respect for her that if she did say something like that, I'd know that she was totally kidding and I'd probably just start calling her "master". hahah

Answer 8

I am white and no way I would be affended by it! Hey we did HORRIBLE things to black peeps. I also no this dude who is white and goes around like he is balck it is so funny and every1 including blacks and white tell him he just too white to rap/dance. Dont know what that last thing I said had to do with anything though lol

Answer 9

Not sure it is as offensive, as it is stupid.

How would you feel if the situation was reversed? I bet it would be pretty bad as would your boss.

These are situations which occurred in the past and they should be kept there. Not forgotten, but at the same time, ignored as an anachronism, like the use of the N word.

Answer 10

I would have been offended by the lack of professionalism used in the office, and would have told the woman that said it that I didn't make her do anything. Neither one of us were even a twinkle in our parents eyes when all that went down. With my friend the answer would have been more colorfully worded but I will never take a remark offensively is they won't. The problem is a lot of people were raised that that kind of joking is by all means inappropriate. Hope that helps.