Can people with Asperger's Syndrome have normal emotions?

Question

My friend has Asperger's and is getting married. But his fiancee seems to be manipulative, telling him what to do. Now he's doing things he never liked to do before because she told him to. My other friends and I think maybe she is controlling him because he wants to fit in and be "normal."

Answer 1

They can. They also can be easily controlled by others. It sounds like they shouldn't get married.

Answer 2

People with AS certainly can have the same range of emotions that everyone else does, but they may express emotions differently.

In regard to the 5 senses, some Aspies have what is called Sensory Integration Dysfunction, which is where they may have hyper-sensitivity or hypo-sensitivity.

Hypersensitivity is where sensitivities are experienced to an extreme.

Hyposensitivity is where a person may experience a sensation, but may experience a delay in identiying, processing, and feeling it to its fullest extent.

Emotional reactions may also be hypo-sensitive in some Aspies. So if there is a death, for example, they may not immediately grieve, but may grieve extensively at some later date.

One thing about Aspies is that they tend not to be willfully hypocritical. So if someone died, and that person was a criminal, for example, an Aspie would be unlikely to call the dead person "dearly departed" and would be unlikely to grieve for the person. So they may seem uncaring, when they are in fact just beng honest about their feelings.

In regard to your friend, Aspies can be easily manipulated, but it is more through naiively trusting manipulative individuals than through coercion.

In your friend's case I don't think wanting to fit in would be enough of a motivating factor for him to change to meet her needs because as a rule, Aspies simply do not care deeply about social interaction or establishing more than a few tight friendship bonds.

I do know that Aspies have a tendency to express a minimum amount of emotion (even though they may feel it as much as a non-Aspie) but people seem to take this lack of expressiveness as uncarringness. And so people who have a vested interest in an Aspie will try to "push their buttons" to ascertain whether or not the Aspie really cares about them.

This could be what is happening.

Your friend not ought to change, but perhaps he could provide more emotional support for his fiancee. She seems to be acting the way she is out of insecurity and passive aggressiveness. If he were to let her know he cares about her more often, that may allay her fears and bad feelings.

Also, she needs to be educated about how Aspies process emotions so she can see his response to her is "normal" for an Aspie and has nothing to do with her per se.

Or then she may truly be manipulative andnothing he can say or do will make a difference.

Answer 3

I think i have this horrible disorder of people misunderstanid me..and I STRONGLY agree with the poster who wrote all this !!

by environm... Member since:
November 20, 2007
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People with AS certainly can have the same range of emotions that everyone else does, but they may express emotions differently.

In regard to the 5 senses, some Aspies have what is called Sensory Integration Dysfunction, which is where they may have hyper-sensitivity or hypo-sensitivity.

Hypersensitivity is where sensitivities are experienced to an extreme.

Hyposensitivity is where a person may experience a sensation, but may experience a delay in identiying, processing, and feeling it to its fullest extent.

Emotional reactions may also be hypo-sensitive in some Aspies. So if there is a death, for example, they may not immediately grieve, but may grieve extensively at some later date.

One thing about Aspies is that they tend not to be willfully hypocritical. So if someone died, and that person was a criminal, for example, an Aspie would be unlikely to call the dead person "dearly departed" and would be unlikely to grieve for the person. So they may seem uncaring, when they are in fact just beng honest about their feelings.

In regard to your friend, Aspies can be easily manipulated, but it is more through naiively trusting manipulative individuals than through coercion.

In your friend's case I don't think wanting to fit in would be enough of a motivating factor for him to change to meet her needs because as a rule, Aspies simply do not care deeply about social interaction or establishing more than a few tight friendship bonds.

I do know that Aspies have a tendency to express a minimum amount of emotion (even though they may feel it as much as a non-Aspie) but people seem to take this lack of expressiveness as uncarringness. And so people who have a vested interest in an Aspie will try to "push their buttons" to ascertain whether or not the Aspie really cares about them.

This could be what is happening.

Your friend not ought to change, but perhaps he could provide more emotional support for his fiancee. She seems to be acting the way she is out of insecurity and passive aggressiveness. If he were to let her know he cares about her more often, that may allay her fears and bad feelings.

Also, she needs to be educated about how Aspies process emotions so she can see his response to her is "normal" for an Aspie and has nothing to do with her per se.

Or then she may truly be manipulative andnothing he can say or do will make a difference.

Answer 4

...Yes, they can. As for your friend, he seems to have fallen into the same trap many people, male or female, do with their significant others. I had hoped Asperger's provided some immunity to this particularly mentality, but it appears that hope was an illusion. All I can suggest is talking to him about it, delicately. If he actually has Asperger's (lots of recent diagnoses are self-diagnosed or otherwise questionable) I can't see him likely to get upset at a pointed line of questioning, but people can be very touchy about people they're dating, let alone affianced to.

The normal thing can be tempted. Do you and his other friends accept him for who he is or pressure him to conform?

Answer 5

People with AS definitely have normal emotions, it's just that they have difficulty expressing those emotions, and sometimes they may have a lack of empathy. But they certainly feel love. He may be doing those things out of love for her, and it may actually be a good thing for him to get out of his comfort zone and grow. Has he expressed that he is uncomfortable doing those things, or do you just think he is? I'd talk to him about it and see if he's happy. Getting out into new activities could be very helpful for him. Just make sure he's doing what he really wants to do.

Answer 6

well... the therapies are much better today than they were when he was a child.. ... todays Aspergers.. other than the monotone voices can come off as pretty average people with the proper therapy... he probably didn't benefit as much if he is old enough to get married... but still.. he's probably pretty intelligent... if it's what he wants then let him figure it out for himself... best thing you can do is be a supportive friend.

Answer 7

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