When me and my husband were dating (we had bin dating for just over a year) his sister was getting married the same day as my cousin in AZ. So I had to go with my family to her wedding. While I was gone my now husband had a party for his sister the night before the wedding and that night he got drunk and so did this girl he use to like and she was dancing all over him and he was dancing with her to and helped her because she was "so drunk" and he ended up kissing her and freaking on her most of the night. Now my problem is I have moved on and tried to forgive and forget about it. But this girl is best friends with my husband’s sisters and so they constantly are trying to do stuff with her and inviter to go places that we are already going. I don’t like this girl at all I see red every time I see her. And so to try to keep the peace I stay away and don’t go places if I know she is going to be their. But my husband gets annoyed because he wants to do stuff with his family.
2007-11-30 08:56:56 · 13 answers · asked by elise 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I also get crap from his sisters about why I’m not their and how I need to get over it. And his family is known for not forgiving and forgetting they hold a grudge for a long time. But I can’t talk to his sisters about it because neither one of them under stand that he cheated on me with her so I don’t want to be around her. I’ve worked it out with my husband I just cant with her. Please does any one have any ideas on what I can do? I want to keep piece and not tick everyone off but I will not be around her it hurts me all over again every time I see her. I’m sorry this is such a long question but please I need some advice thanks
2007-11-30 08:57:14 · update #1
I don’t stop him form doing stuff with his family we go to his parents and brothers and sister at least 2-3 times a week and the 1 or 2 times a month they do stuff with her is when I dot want to go. And I talked to my husband he is being more reasonable now and is ok but it’s his sisters
2007-11-30 09:07:03 · update #2
You have every right be mad at this girl that's great if you and your husband have worked it out. but his sisters need to understand not ever one gets along so they need to chill out and back off so you can try to get past your problems with her even if it take a long time to. if you can talk to them separately and explain to them how you feel. I hope they under stand good luck
2007-11-30 09:15:45 · answer #1 · answered by nikie_atkinson 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hang in there. You have been through a rough time. Keep standing up for yourself and don't be afraid to speak your mind and say no.
He's your husband and he needs to learn to make you his top priority as you make him yours. I think you can work it out, you sound like you got a good head on your shoulders.
God Bless, Jasmine
2007-12-01 16:39:53 · answer #2 · answered by Jazzy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am not sure what you mean by "freaking on her most of the night"....I think it is time to get over this and move on....You said that you have forgiven your husband....this woman means nothing to him...and you shouldn't be so threatened by the skank...For the sake of your marriage...get over this so your husband can do things with his family....
Remember...that your husband is just as guilty for what happened with this other woman....You can't dictate to your sister in law who her friends can be....
You don't owe your husband's sisters any explanation why you don't want to attend these gatherings...as long as you and your husband are on the same page.....I wouldn't worry about what they think...
2007-11-30 09:04:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
Forgiveness should be extended to your husband and this girl. You said that your inlaws tend to hold a grudge but you seem to be pretty good at doing so yourself. You dont have to like her, but the fact that her mere presence has an emotional hold on you is damaging your relationship with everyone else.
I encourage you to let that indiscretion be cast into the sea of forgetfulness beloved.
The ability to forgive is not a natural thing..it really takes God to give us the ability to get past hurtful things. I encourage you to get to know Him. He will help you move forward...
2007-11-30 09:11:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
Well if she still upsets you then you haven't really moved on...
I'm not really sure what you mean by "freaking on her most of the night" but it doesn't sound like they actually had sex..Not that what he did was right, on the contrary he was very WRONG, but if you've forgiven him...let it go. He married YOU. And it really doesn't sound like you have to see her that often...Like Denise G said "kill her with kindness"
2007-11-30 09:17:11 · answer #5 · answered by Who Knew? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Who do you need to keep happy in your relationship?? you and your husband have come to an agreement that you don't want to be around or to see this other woman. So, that being said, why do you need to explain your feelings to the other people around you?? Simply say I choose not to associate with this person because of her choices and that's that. You understand how you feel and so does your husband. That's that. Other people should concern themselves with thwmselves and let you worry 'bout you. You know??
2007-11-30 09:05:54 · answer #6 · answered by dispatch9433 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I think you have to be honest with your in-laws. You have nothing to be ashamed of, your husband does. If they aren't ones to forgive and forget, why should you forgive and forget about this girl?
In fact, your husband is the one that needs to confess to his sisters especially what he did and why you don't feel comfortable around this girl. I guarantee, if the situation were reversed and you were with a guy, if that guy came within a mile of you, he'd blow a gasket.
2007-11-30 09:02:25 · answer #7 · answered by wondermom 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
First of all, your husband needs to take up for you - your his wife... He should tell his sister that as long as the girl is around he can't be around - pronto--- if this girl make you uncomforable (as it would any woman) then he should respect that and stick by his wife. As far as the sister-in-law - it sounds like she is trying to make you jealous and its working - tell her to butt out... your family... If they want to spend time with you and your husband that is fine, but the best friend is playing third wheel... stick to family gatherings only
2007-11-30 09:05:38 · answer #8 · answered by MurphysGirl 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
first off:
there - a place
their - possessive article of they
peace - what the world needs
piece - a part of
Sorry, but you obviously have been making these mistakes a lifetime...
If you have found peace with your husband on this, then just remember that YOU married him, not her. You should "kill her with kindness" and just go with them all. Maybe your fear is worse than actually hanging out with her and getting over this.
2007-11-30 09:04:21 · answer #9 · answered by DeeGee 6 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Your husband AND your sisters in law are being rude and insensitive to YOU. You are now part of that family, so WHY should their best friend come before you? I would talk to them and your husband about this. If they get mad, oh well. YOU are his wife and should come first now.
2007-11-30 09:03:13 · answer #10 · answered by AsianPersuasion :) 7 · 4⤊ 2⤋