What is wrong with my family???

Question

AAAAHHHHHH!!!!!

I am breastfeeding my daughter. My misinformed mother, grandmother and aunts act as if I am committing a mortal sin by giving my daughter the natural milk that God created for babies.

My daughter also refuses to drink pumped milk from any bottle. I have tried at least 12 different types. My grandmother's solution to this at Thanksgiving dinner was to shove a bottle down her little throat over and over again while she screamed at lung capacity. No one and I mean no one would give me privacy when I am trying to feed her. She has plans to do this again over Christmas since she believes I am starving my baby. What do I do?

Why are people in this country so backwards?

Answer 1

This is EXACTLY what happened to me, if you look at my previous questions I asked this SAME question and now that my sons here Ive learned that they can get over it. So many people other than my family have said what a great thing Im doing for my baby and it really is there are so many great outcomes from breastfeeding. But my gma still calls me and when I tell her that hes just a little fussy shell say "maybe formula would make him better" and she even sent formula holders for traveling. It got old REALLY fast so now I just say ok...and do what I want. And hand in there my son wouldnt take a bottle of pumped milk either and now atleast once a day I give him a bottle cause sometimes you cant just whip out your boob and go, or atleast Im not really comfortable with that yet....but hang in there and theyll eventually get that your going to to do whats best for you and your baby not what they think

Answer 2

I'm with you! I too breastfeed my daughter and it may surprise you to know that she is now almost two years old. People look at me like I'm crazy when they hear this.

My advice is this. Be firm and confident about what you want for your daughter. Tell your grandmother (probably on the phone or at least in private) that you appreciate her concern but you will be feeding your daughter not her. Tell her if she's not okay with this that you won't be able to stay long since you'll have to go home to feed your baby. Don't let anyone bully you into quiting! Breastfeeding is wonderful for your little girl.

Also, my daughter wouldn't take a bottle either. I don't know why but she hated them all. Give up the bottle thing. It won't happen. We tried and tried for months until she was old enough to take a cup. She liked it and has actually never really had a bottle. In my opinion, it makes it easier to quit when they turn one. If they never used it they can't miss it.

Keep up the good work! Don't let anyone talk you out of breastfeeding!

Answer 3

Personally I would tell them to go to, well you know. Breastfeeding is a wonderful, wonderful thing. Your baby will not take anything but the breast, well, keep giving her the breast. I would have a very, very hard time letting someone shove a bottle down my baby's throat and I would have taken my child away from that person ASAP! That is a terrible thing to do to a child.
My son who was born at 10lbs, 3ounces, has gained an ounce a day due to breast feeding. He is 13 days old and is thriving exceptionally well. You are not starving your child. The only way you know that she is not getting enough is if she is losing weight. Your daughter is going to do much better if she is fed breast milk.
Your grandmother sounds like a real b***h and I would not let her hold my child, touch my child and take my child and try and force feed her. Too bad for grandma, tell her to stop torturing your baby and then she can have time with the baby.
Whip out your breasts in front of everyone, and if anyone has a problem with it, tell them to shove it. They eat in front of everyone else, why can't your daughter have that same privelage? Becasue its breasts? How many breasts do we see in movies, in magazines, ect? Your family sounds a little too wacked!
My family only supports breast feeding. My mother breastfed all her children, breastfeeding is a big deal in my family. Both my children are and were breastfed.
I would tell them, that you will not show up for Christmas, if they are going to shove a bottle down your baby's throat. If they agree to that, and still do it, high tail it out of there. This is your child and they need to remember that. They have had their children already, so tell them to let you raise your own.

Answer 4

It is odd that generations of your mother's and grandmother's would behave like that. I see more new mothers going back to breast feeding like it was when I was a baby. If they are not going to support you on your choice to breast feed, then I would be giving my regrets to not come to the Christmas dinner. My niece is expecting for the 3rd time. She was over at my daughter's house during Christmas day and sat down in the floor and fed her baby in front of everyone with a blanket over him. Didn't matter who was in the room, and if they were uncomfortable with it they went into the other room. She was so unaffected by everyone being there. Most of the women in our family have breast fed at least the first few months of our babies lives. So sweetie, kudos to you, and I am ashamed that women from my generation can't deal with something as natural as breastfeeding. Just cover your baby and you up and feed her.

Answer 5

The American women I know with children have all breastfed. Except my x sister in law, she had too much pain & too little milk. This is your choice, try to make a plan to get away to a locked room or even have someone take you two for a drive (then fed when parked). I know family can be overbearing & in the sake of keeping the peace I guess you don't feel you can just tell them to shove it. I'm sure there are sources on line if you want info to change their minds.

Answer 6

There is a line between holding your tongue out of respect and letting them walk all over you. Girl you have got to remind them who gave birth to that child. I've had to do that with the busy body women in my family too. They tend to think that you should do things the way they did. They will test your patience. My ex mother-in-law shoved a french fry in my sons mouth when he was only 5 months old trying to impress her friends cause I was so strick about what he ate. I finally just had to tell her to back off but I did it in a respectful way.

Answer 7

Many people are like that. You can;1, suck it up and nurse anyway,( not recommended);2, get your doctor to make some kinda official looking note stating that your baby is healthier for nursing;3, READ THEM THE RIOT ACT! ask them how badly do they really want to see you this year.
Honestly , breast milk is the healthiest way to feed her and most nursed babies grow faster and are healthier. Mine did. They also need it to bond with mom , without witch is harmful to the child's emotional development!!!
More power to ya momma ! we're in this togther.

Answer 8

If they won't give you privacy, then just flop it out right there in front of them. They'll get the point. That's what I finally had to do. I was tired of trying to sneak away in my own home to no prevail. I finally just swallowed my pride and breastfed in front of everyone.

As for the bottle thing. Simply take the baby away from her if she tries to do it. My mother-in-law is the same way. Constantly shoving a bottle down their throat when they obviously don't want it (I bottle fed as well as breast fed, but they obviously didn't want the bottle at that time). Anywho, so I would just say, "She/He doesn't want it. Stop forcing him/her." If she continued to do it, I'd simply go over there and take the baby from her. Eventually, it got so bad that we had to literally sit down and tell her firmly, "We DO NOT want you giving our child the bottle. This is our child, not yours. You may not agree with our methods, but you do need to respect them." If they still can't respect you..... leave.

She finally eased up after that.

Answer 9

Lord, what country are you in?

Where we are (southern california) people acted just the opposite. If we gave our 6 month old daughter a bottle (full of pumped breast milk, as it happened) complete strangers would walk up and start lecturing us on how we should only nurse until the baby was 18 months old!!

(she weaned herself at 10 months, about the same time she walked. She suddenly decided that shaved deli ham was the only thing she wanted, even cerial was a struggle to get down her.)

Try to remember that mom and grandmom are horribly misinformed - but they mean well. Just keep them at arms length.

Answer 10

They are from the old days. Breastfeeding is one of the best things you could do to bond with your child. I say you couldn't do a thing about the way your mother took care of you and if they can't respect the what your doing with your child then the both of you won't be coming over for the holidays. Hopefully you don't live with them. Tell grammy that is abuse to do that to a child

Goodluck