So what does Santa do if a naughty person actually WANTED a lump of coal in their stocking?

Question

It IS practical. With fuel prices being what they are these days, I might vaporize a bus full of midgets just to keep my stove running through winter....

Answer 1

Ahhhh yes… I’m sure Santa longs for the simpler times when there were only two lists: “naughty” and “nice”.

At last count, there were 57 distinct “naughty” lists… including “virtually naughty, but well-behaved in realtime”, “generally naughty, but didn’t vote for Bush”, “hopelessly naughty, but only on Saturdays between the hours of 9PM and midnight”, “rarely naughty, but prone to threatening busloads of midgets” and “pretends to be naughty in the hopes of supplementing the winter fuel supply”.

So yeah…. these days he pretty much just gets everyone a Target gift card.

(BTW, the “nice” list was officially retired in 1991, when it was finally brought to Santa’s attention that “Lisa Simpson” is just a cartoon.)

Answer 2

Has a propane truck blocking the driveway. "We will fill up the tank ma'am but only after you pay the $350 deposit and the $350 to fill the tank." You notice how the whole statement is in quotes, that's how poor people get cheated in rural areas in Winter. "It will cost you another $50 if we have to make a return trip."

Answer 3

I think he gives them a Hummer. They will have to pay the taxes, claim it as a capital gain and then fill up the tank. Now THAT is what the really naughty ones get.

Answer 4

He takes their stocking and fills it up with all the goodies in the pantry !!
Ah haaaa, smarty pants !! LOL !!

Answer 5

I think he send his elves around their house to brake their legs. That'll teach 'em...

Answer 6

Ummmm....he gives them socks instead?

Answer 7

Give them nothing.