Are there any positive relationship advisors out there???

Question

I may not have a perfect relationship but I know we have love. Thats the first step isnt it. Next we have never been unfaithful in our relationship. Either of us. We just argue a bit more than I would like. I dont want to hear "leave him" or " it never gets better". I have never been as giving in a relationship before this man and since hes been in my life I have seen a different light. I just dont know how to help him see to. He says he wants to make things better but we just dont know how to start or where to look. We went to pre-marital counselling but the guy only wanted to be negative and said seperate. I have had enough of that "give up and move on" bs for a lifetime. I have kids and I am tired of showing them that love is not worth hanging on to in a good situation. No one is perfect but trust me from reading these other posts things could be a lot worse. Are there any positive people out there with advice that might help????

I am looking for activities that we can maybe do together after work (after 6 pm but we go to bed about 930pm or 10pm) and also maybe on the weekends. I love my boyfriend so much but I never know whats going to be something the 2 of us can do that wont be too expensive and that will be better to him than going 4 wheeling lol. I know he loves to do it but if he loves me wouldnt he want to do things (other than go riding) with just me???? Im lonely and a very romantic person and I know he CAN be but he just isnt anymore. I would like for him to light a candle and have mac n cheese in a bowl with 2 forks and some cream soda on the floor with a funny movie getting ready to play on the tv. But he would just rather come home from work and fall asleep on the couch or go straight to bed. I know hes tired but come on, no man is that tired that unless hes riding a 4 wheeler or hanging with his friends(not with me) is he that tired all the time.... what should I do????

Answer 1

I dont know if this will or if you will just think that this is corny, but I had a very nice person give me some great advice on relationships and marriage, and I will share that. He said that a relationship is like a highway...Sometimes there is a road that loops off the highway and leads to other destinations, and this is like the time in a relationship where you guys are not seeing eye to eye, but if you do not give up, the road always ends up back on the highway, and things between you will get better. The most important part is to not give up, and this is where 'till death do us apart' comes in. If you keep working at it, it will work out

Answer 2

It is really hard to describe all details in the relationship with one paragraph, so of course, some people get a very bad image and suggest you to leave your spouse. I have done it myself (advising someone to leave) but this is the internet full of all the kind of people like impatient, not caring, young and naive and etc. So it is really hard to get a good advice here. On the other hand, you are the one who really knows what is going on in your marriage. Some close friend might be able to give you a good advice but even good friends often don't know what is going on behind the closed door.

I would say that you should try another marriage counselor. The first one was no good but that doesn't mean that all of them are horrible. It's like going for the second opinion when you don't trust your first doctor. It's okay. They are professionals and they are able to hear both stories and make a good judgment.

I admire your strength and your willingness not to give up! Keep going this way! Work for your marriage and you will be okay. Good luck!

Answer 3

OK One positive guy here for you.You have and know Love that"s a good start.Arguing over what money,sex,kids or even more petty things like clean house?Dose the arguing lead or turn to fighting or abuse?Are you hurting each other?If you have said no to the above then your fine its called being in a normal relationship.Stop the bickering before it starts take him by the hand go in the bedroom and jump his bones.You maybe fighting to make up.GLuck.K

Answer 4

you are right, if there are no trust issues and both of you love each other and want to work it out, then by all means do. i would suggest going to a different counselor. i have never heard of a counselor that just tells people to split up. that's unrealistic if the both of you want to try. try counseling again. however, counseling is only a guide on how to help yourselves. it will not work if the both of you are not wiling to give 1000%.

Answer 5

Sounds to me like both of you are trying very hard to work on your relationship. That is always a positive thing to do! If you both love each other that deeply, keep trying and quit listening to the negativity in your life. Focus on each other and your children, and love should prevail.

Answer 6

I will give positive advise when it is warranted. But I feel I have a moral obligation to be truthful with people as I see there situations reflected in my own opinions and experiences.

Does that make sense?

Good luck. Send me an e-mail if you want my unbiased opinions to your questions.

Answer 7

Fist of all you have failed to mention the types of arguements you are having with your hubby. Everyone argues that does not constitute divorce, but sometimes its not really arguing its one partner trying to kill the others self esteem by telling them how crappy they are. However, you have failed to give enough info for anyone to give you an honest answer.