Not trying to cause trouble!?

Question

I am on here a lot and have made some friends and we are all great and different. I see the question a lot about "Breast or Formula" and I wonder.... Can the two get a long if they are friends? Really, lets say "X" is a great Mom who breast feeds and is very vocal about it being the only right way. Lets say "Y" is a formula feeding mother and is just fine with her chioce for whatever reason. Can they be close friends? I will tell you what I think when I select a best answer. In addition I am not trying to cause problems I am really just curious! Thanks!

Answer 1

Well I for one am often very vocal about my opinion on "Breast is Best". That said, I have a lot of friends who never even tried to breast feed. You might not know it if you look up all of my answers but it is true.

I don't feel like I have to agree on everything with my friends. In the city that I live in now I only have one close friend that has breast fed her children exclusively. I love and respect each of my friends for who they are not what they do. Besides, just because I am right in one area doesn't mean that I am right in another.

My friends bring there own "rightness" to the table. I always thought of friendship as choosing to love people for who they are right now. Not for who they could be if they would only see it MY way. I don't give them troubles about it and that don't roll there eyes when I whip out my breast to nurse my toddler either.

Yeah, I am sure it may be unsettling some times to know that your friend thinks that you are completely wrong in an area of your life but you don't have to agree with people to respect them.

My dad once told me that to respect some one is to allow them to be who they are and not try to change them. Don't get me wrong, I wish all who could breast feed would. I just don't get into it with my friends unless they ask me what I think. Even then I am tactful with my friends. OK. Sorry for the long winded answer. Gotta run.

Answer 2

Of course they can, unless they are inconsiderate of each other's feelings.

We all know breast is better. We learn it in school. When we become pregnant, our OBGYN beats it into our heads the whole 9 months. During the delivery, the nurses tell you, the doctor who delivers, the nurses who care for you after delivery, the lactation consultants who stop by your room evey 5 minutes, your family, your friends...EVEN STRANGERS ON YAHOO ANSWERS!! WE KNOW!!

Yet women on here, MOTHERS, feel it necessary to tell you that you are the devil if you formula feed. Totally unecessary and NOTHING we all havent heard before.

I think it is SO important, not to mention mature, for women, mothers at that, to respect other mother's decisions on how to raise their OWN children.

If you can be friends with someone and respect thier decision for doing breastfeeding or formula feeding, regardless if your own views are different, you are a great person for it, which a lot of moms on this site are not....

Answer 3

I am a formula feeding mother primarily, who has breast fed for a little while, so I have feelings and experience in both. I primarily bottle feed for a variety of reasons, and I have friends who only breastfeed, who do both and who only bottle feed, all of us have our opinions and are very strong about them, of course, if we were not then they wouldn't be very good opinions. The difference is that we are adults, we know that breastfeeding nor bottle feeding make or breaks you as a good mother. You can breast feed and still abuse, you can bottle feed and love. There are always circumstances that we may not know about. So why judge how a baby is fed, why not judge that the baby is being fed and how well it is being taken care of. We love to discuss it, but we mainly love to discuss those who will not open their minds, and judge other , in a cruel and demeaning way, about something so trivial in the scope of the horrid abuse and neglect children experience every day.

Answer 4

I understand where you are coming from, but I think you're missing the mark entirely. It's not "Breastmilk or Formula" at all, it's being open-minded and having the live and let live type of personality VS. being self-righteous, rude and intentionally offensive.

You left out a huge piece of your scenario on "X" & "Y". "X" can be a vocal as she wants about thinking bfing is the only right way "for her children". But does she talk down to the formula feeding mother for the choice she made? Likewise, does the formula feeding mother talk down to the bfing mother for her choice?
Or are they TRUE friends and respect each others choices for whatever reasons they were made?

What it comes down to is that people need to start accepting each other regardless of the different choices they make, as long as it's not affecting them personally or their own children.

Answer 5

My best friend breastfed both of her children and I had to resort to formula, unfortunately. But again, she's still my best friend because she does not look down on me for turning to formula. She does not have that "Mightier than thou" attitude some women on here have about her bfing. She is very understanding about my situation and loves my son as though he was her own. She had even offered to be a wet nurse for him when I was struggling, but unfortunately, moved away.

That being said, I will tell you that when I meet other mothers, I do not ask them right away if they breastfeed or formula feed. It does not matter to me because I care more about that person's morals, values, and kindness rather than how she feeds her child. You can give your child all the bm in the world and still teach them to grow up rotten.

Answer 6

I don't see why 2 friends who chose 2 different ways on how to feed their child would not make them like each other. I breastfed and my best friend did the formula thing, and we never looked down at one another for it.

Answer 7

why should your friendship be based on how you feed your child? that's silly. Your children arent the basis for your friendship and how they are fed certainly shouldnt be the basis for it. If you are bonding because you both have children, then thats find but it should end there. How you feed your child is a personal choice and really no one elses business.

You dont base your friendships on how you pleasure your husband or boyfriend do you? Of course not, thats a private matter. Why should this be any different? Certainly the two can be friends if they are mature adults.

Answer 8

I trully think they can be good friends cause good friends don't judge each other. No one is wrong, they just made different choices regarding the feeding issues. If they both enjoy the way they do it , I don't see a reason why they cannot be friends. Tolerance and respect are big components of a nice healthy friendship.

Answer 9

I don't see why "x" and "y" can't be close friends. As a mom of two I was both and have friends that were either "X" or "y". Every woman should do what they want and are comfortable with. Good question though.

Answer 10

I thank they can. We have to remember Pick your battles. And this is such a small item to argue over. Active mothers stay at home mothers what ever works best for them. Is the way I feel.