Why would my man continue to lie when it implicates his own son? Also, how do I handle this situation?

Question

just found $20 missing from my silver cigarette case (snaps shut). my boyfriend of 10 yrs. handed me $80 (counted it before putting it in case) a couple days ago and i haven't left the house, or spent any money, or even opened the case, and found only $60 when i was at the store today. so i asked him if he took it, which is no big deal. he said no. i could see in his face he was being evasive (he's had issues with honesty). so i said that our 8 yr. old son must have taken it then. then he started trying to create doubt in my mind that maybe i just lost it, and sometimes that works, but as stated that is impossible in this case. i know our son didn't take it, but i'd get him from school so i could question him. we went round and round for awhile because i know he took it and is willing to let our son take the fall for his mistake. how am i going to ever respect him if he allows this to happen? is he even human?? i'm worried about our kids having a father who is honorable.

okay... he just confessed and apologized.. after a very stressful afternoon. i'm just disgusted. why did he let it go on all afternoon? what if i had questioned my son about it? he didn't have any answers. i'm really at a loss...

Answer 1

If you know your man lies, and can't be trusted not to take money, start putting your money in a different place where he can't get to it.

More importantly, though, you should be asking, "Do I really want to spend the rest of my life with someone who lies, and is this the kind of example I want my son growing up seeing?"

Hard questions that only you can answer, but the reality is you can't change other people, so it's all a matter of what you're willing to live with.

Best wishes.

Answer 2

First if you knew the kid did not do it you should have never mentioned it to him. You know who did it and I understand exactly where you are coming from had that one happen before only it was my ex (then current) bf who stole $100 from my 15 yr. old. We all know who did it and the sad thing was is that not only was that all the money the boy had saved at the time to buy something he wanted i have the money to give the jerk if he had just asked for it. Its not like he has not asked before and I gave it to him. You need to get a confession out of your man and if he refuses set him up.

Answer 3

Ok, my ex used to steal money from me and blame the kids too. I found out by marking all the bills in my wallet and when a $20 turned up missing I checked his wallet and there it was. I suspect he was doing it for quite a while, as I had missed money on a regular basis but thought I was misplacing it. I am happy to say that now that the dirtbag is gone I am not missing any money.

Answer 4

Maybe you did lose it. It's odd to me that you can be SO sure it was there, not lost, that you are willing to call into question your husband's honor over it. Think how awful you would feel if you tagged your husband as a dishonest man and later learned that you were wrong.

Answer 5

If he gave it you why would he take it and then say he didn't...that's sounds fishy to me. Would your son ever steal from you. I leave money in my house everywhere and if my kids ever take it they let me know and or ask me before they take it. I stress to them that they are not to ever steal from me or anyone else. I say put them both in the same room and see what he says in front of your son.

Answer 6

You did all you could. At this point, you will be netter served by not making a huge deal out of this and making the problems larger than they really are.

Keep it all in perspective.

Good luck.

Answer 7

Yes, you should be worried if you are planning on dumping him.

Answer 8

Kick him to the curb, he has no morals