Considering the clients’ weight management concerns and after tabulating the objective and subjective data we ascertained group diagnoses of Imbalanced Nutrition: Less than Body Requirements, Imbalanced Nutrition: More than Body Requirements, Imbalanced Nutrition: Risk for More than Body Requirements, and Readiness for Enhanced Body Nutrition.
Is this sentence okay? Does it need a comma after the word "data"? Is it clear?
2007-11-30 07:00:32 · 5 answers · asked by ftz 6 in Education & Reference ➔ Homework Help
Personally, I would do it with the following punctuation, just for clarity.
Considering the clients’ weight management concerns and after tabulating the objective and subjective data, we ascertained group diagnoses of 1) Imbalanced Nutrition: Less than Body Requirements; 2) Imbalanced Nutrition: More than Body Requirements; 3) Imbalanced Nutrition: Risk for More than Body Requirements; and, 4) Readiness for Enhanced Body Nutrition.
2007-11-30 07:10:16 · answer #1 · answered by jurydoc 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need a comma after the word "data." Also the sentence is kinda long, I would break it up if you could.
2007-11-30 07:10:18 · answer #2 · answered by Galen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some of the sentences are redundant and too repetitive...you are repeating yourself in some areas. This does not read well at all. If I were grading it in an English class it would get a very low grade for effort. Check your grammar and shorten what you are trying to say. Good luck.
2007-11-30 07:14:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's kinda long. You do need a comma after "data", though. If you could shorten it it would be more clear.
2007-11-30 07:07:08 · answer #4 · answered by cameraman21222 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No comma, its fine.I feel your point was made clearly.
2007-11-30 07:09:25 · answer #5 · answered by saconners1 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋