My friend w/benefits & I had a sort of heart to heart talk yesterday. He told me when we first started talking he wants to be fwb & maybe build up 2 more. Yesterday I told him I don't want 2 start having feelings 4 him that aren't returned b/c I thought it was just about the sex w/him. He said that it isn't & that we don't have to do it again until I am ready b/c he doesn't have to have it 2 talk 2 me. He asked if I really thought that he didn't have feelings 4 me b/c he doesn't sleep w/just anybody. He said he wants 2 be careful right now though b/c he's got alot going on & he's not looking 4 a serious relationship. I told him that this kinda scares me (I'm recently divorced)& he said he doesn't want me 2 be scared & if I am then we can just be friends only if I want. I asked him what he wants & he said he guesses 2 just keep things the way they are 4 now(fwb). What am I supposed to make of this? He supposedly has "feelings" but why is it like this?
2007-11-30 06:29:17 · 12 answers · asked by love my life 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Geeeeeeezzzzzz.....How many times are you going to ask this insane question??
2007-11-30 06:33:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I was in this psoition last year around this time. He was the one saying to keep it simple no feelings attached. I said fine i was coming out of a 5 yr relationship and didn't want anything with anyone. But in the end he was the one who was in love and i stuck to my guns i caught no feelings whatsoever except the usual I like you and that's it. So if he doesn't want to commit to you, then leave it as friends. I guess i am the girl version of your fwb. I'll be honest i used to say i had feelings to him when i didn't, i just didn't want to stop getting the sexx cuase i just don't do it w/ anyone either. But I had known him for 3 yrs prior to being fwb. So sweetie taking for what it is, just sexx!
2007-11-30 14:43:04 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh, lordy, he is stringing you along. He isn't committing in case something better comes, but he isn't pushing you away, because he does enjoy you and might settle for you if nothing better comes
us men these days are getting so selfish, aren't we
sometimes I'm so ashamed of these new generations
well, can't be changed, a good guy (as well as a good gal) is getting hard to find these days. I'm looking for a liberal church or meditation goer, so I know she has a chance to have some more depth.
But then I like to bring her to the bar and party in moderation.
2007-11-30 14:59:41 · answer #3 · answered by Jack Bent 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Im only 36 but call me OLD fashioned....FWB is a bunch of baloney. That concept is basically 'one person who is desperate enough to accept less hoping that maybe the person will want more later and the other person with just enough emotional callous to take advantage of that person under the guise of knowledgable consent.'
You have been married beloved. You (should) know real love when you see it. Dont compromise yourself to avoid being lonely. The road you are on doesnt have a good ending...and its a spiritual path of destruction besides....
Let God be your comfort right now. You will never be able to see the one God has for you if you are playing around with empty distractions (uncommitted men).
2007-11-30 14:41:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
You're starting to fall for him, and he just wants the sex.
He is either building a relationship with someone else, and doesn't want to push matters with her too fast, so he uses you to relieve his sexual frustrations...Or, he's a snotty little coward who wants to get laid, but doesn't want to become involved with the "other stuff" that being lovers as opposed to FWBs generates...y'know, the "emotional" stuff. This way, he gets his pole waxed by someome he likes/trusts, and can be himself and not need to worry about trying to impress (ie: date).
In any case...I wish you luck with resolving the situation!
2007-11-30 15:28:12 · answer #5 · answered by jcurrieii 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have some self-respect. What are you doing? End it now and tell him he needs to produce an engagement ring if he wants his "benefits". Otherwise, he needs to visit Rosey Palm and the Five Finger Sisters.
2007-11-30 14:46:26 · answer #6 · answered by Scorpio 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He took it the way it was friends with benifits. He can take the sex or leave it but most likely he doesn't want to lose the sex. It is exactly what he told you. He is honest.
2007-11-30 14:33:47 · answer #7 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds like a control issue and fear of committing. I guess if there is this much anxiety and worry over it...you should leave sex out of it as sex only adds confusion to real emotions. ie: lust not love
2007-11-30 14:34:42 · answer #8 · answered by jslorri 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dump him because he wants more than you can give. FWB is all about sex, on feelings, just sex.
2007-11-30 14:49:14 · answer #9 · answered by harold 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Too much text messaging??? Woman, grow up and write in a proper English!
2007-11-30 14:36:00 · answer #10 · answered by terliuke 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋