I grew up in a house where Christmas was a big deal... now I sit at 46 with a son in the mental hospital, a wife who has betrayed me and abused drugs, alcohol and herself for years and is just a fat and depressed loser now. She wants to have the whole Xmas thing this year. I don't. I am just now getting over thanksgiving when I had nothing to be thankful for whatsoever... now i am supposed to pretend i give a damn about Christmas. Lets worry about the rest of the year, why don't we? Then we'll talk about Christmas. Oh, religious people, I have nothing against you. Its not the holiday I am against... just the secular celebration.
2007-11-30 06:01:18 · 16 answers · asked by lillegman46 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Holidays ➔ Christmas
This has been going on for eight years...I've done enough intervention, dumb$#!%. You think I would be saying anything if I hadn't tried evrything?
2007-12-03 06:00:25 · update #1
Take a few moments and think of all of the positive things going on in your life. Do you have a roof over your head? Do you have food to eat? Can you walk through the Christmas trees to pick out just the right one? Can you drive to see your son and bring him the joy of Christmas? I could go on and on. Face it, things could be worse. If you grew up in a house where Christmas was a big deal then you should have plenty of happy memories of those times. Focus on the happy and positive memories and share them with those around you. Your son will thank you for the happy memories you create with him now.As for your wife, if you are unhappy with her you don't have to stay with her. There are plenty of good women out there, but you will never find one with a negitive attitude.
Stay positive and Happy Holidays!
2007-11-30 06:47:10 · answer #1 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry you are having such a bad holiday season. Sometimes it just sucks. You do not have to celebrate Christmas if you don't want to. That might cause friction with the wife. Tell her she is free to decorate and celebrate as she pleases, but you will not be participating this year. Last year was a very bad year for me and I didn't put up any decorations and didn't participate in anything. I played my favorite CDs in my car so I wouldn't have to listen to the stupid Christmas songs on the radio. I was so glad when the season was over. This year things are better in my life. I hope you can slide though this Christmas season without too much discomfort, and I hope next year is better for you. Maybe for Xmas you should get yourself a divorce. Good luck.
2007-11-30 14:12:23 · answer #2 · answered by Pam H 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am very sorry to hear your circumstance, doesn't life seem so unfair to some people? I agree with you, if you dont want to be "fake" and pretend to enjoy something that just causes you more anguish then dont. If she has somewhere she can go to celebrate in the fashion she would like to then tell her to go there but your not interested. You've got to be true to yourself or you will just be more miserable. Are you going to visit your son on xmas? What do you want to do on that day or two days? Tell her thats what your gonna do then. Have as Happy of a Holiday as you can- thats what matters.
2007-11-30 14:08:03 · answer #3 · answered by paradiseintn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you have lots bigger issues and Christmas is your way of expressing them.
Not that I don't agree with you, I don't celebrate Christmas either. Its just too commercial for me.
But hey, I'm hearing you say you really need some professional help here. I know, I know, theres that big stigma about men sucking it up, dealing with it, yadda yadda but I got some therapy a few years back and I gotta say it made my whole view on life different.
I won't say Merry Christmas but I will wish you a New Year with a brighter life.
2007-11-30 14:09:08 · answer #4 · answered by Larry W 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Put up or shut up...meaning get your wife some help and don't just sit on you backside and moan and groan about it! Try calling the show on A & E called most appropriately INTERVENTION. She will be sent to a place that will deal with both her alcohol and drug problems and you can be given counselling too because it sounds like you need it. Call 1-800-662-HELP. To get her help with her addictions and you some help with your problems too. You aren't doing her any favors by just sitting on you @ss and b!tching like you did here, you will be given counselling on how to help her deal with her addictions or you could just do what a lot of "men" do and kick her to the curb and start fresh but try manning up and getting her the help that she needs and maybe you will feel better about it all over again after she's clean and sober.
2007-11-30 14:43:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Nope don't celebrate it. Stay away from the stores and all the other stuff. However it sounds as though you are going through a depression which many people do over the holidays. Please go talk to a counsellor to talk about the issues your dealing with. If you don't it's only going to get worse.
2007-11-30 14:06:26 · answer #6 · answered by Violet 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My thoughts are with you. There are a lot of times when I am feeling down that I dont want to participate in things. You should not have to do anything you dont want to. But dont use it as an excuse to do nothing at all. Maybe you could get out and do a hobby that you do enjoy. There has to be something you like to do that will cheer you up!
2007-11-30 14:06:18 · answer #7 · answered by Jenny G 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
heads up.
Just to let you in on a lil secret , Christ was not born on christmas day, sooo, whatever...
and what it sounds like, after the note you wrote, your feeling more sorry for others than yourself, who cares, ...
why would you stay with a person like that...?
your kids in the hospital, that sux ....
forget christmas, go sit with your son in the hospital, and be thankfull hes in the hospital and not dead....
As for your wife, and this whole till death do us part, BOGUS.
Sounds like you work for a living, and have enough money to pay the hospital bills and the crack or whatever your wife is smoking nowadays...
get out of there, and spend as much time with your son as possible, ...
Did you spend time with your son in the hospital, did you sit with him the entire day of thanksgiving, ...?
Either this advice, go your making it sound like you have no controll in your life, you still do, and you allways will, start paying attention to the things that help you, and the things you want to change, I bet if you go and see your son, im sure hell get better... idk, ...
but this world really sux, and you should know that by now, ...
so its time to seek a better future ...
Do you work, then get out of there, and take your son with you, and get em out of the hospital, and start taking resposibility ...
2007-11-30 14:20:54 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I gave up giving and receiving presents about 7 years ago and have never been happier!
Seems to make Xmas much more special and spiritual.
Sorry things are going badly. Hope it turns around for you in the new year.
2007-11-30 14:04:42 · answer #9 · answered by Peacenik 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Make a deal with your wife. If she wants you guys to have a Christmas, she has to agree to couples therapy. It sounds like you both need it individually and as a couple.
2007-11-30 14:05:49 · answer #10 · answered by OhKatie! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋