I had a baby 7 months ago. My husband and I have had it rough since we got married. We fought a lot. In september I noticed he acted weird when his phone was ringing late one night. I picked it up and he grabbed it out of my hand. Than after that he never left it in my sight. I got his phone and called the number. A female answered. I confronted him and after a week he said it was a woman he met online. He said he talks to her about our relationship because he's not happy with me. I found out she's 45 minutes away from us. He said he wouldn't call her again. Since this, he leaves his phone around and I check it frequently but there is no action on it. Do I trust him again? Do you think he cheated? I don't know what to believe anymore. But our relationship seems to be getting better even though we still don't have sex often. I have to initate it always. Now he's not so secretitive. Oh and... he said that she had a child. I said yeah so what I have a child. It was so weird.
2007-11-30 05:13:46 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He comes home at the same time every night from work and calls me on the way home.He doesn't go out with friends. He's always home.
2007-11-30 05:14:49 · update #1
Yeah he said she had I child I immediately asked if it was his. He said no.
2007-11-30 05:21:08 · update #2
Lately if I ask for sex, he says yes. Before it was always no.
2007-11-30 05:22:01 · update #3
We went to a counselor. He promised he'd go. Went once and he said its not for me. Than I said I was going by myself. Than he gave me an ultimatium. Either the counseling or the marriage. Even claimed I was having an affair with the counselor.
2007-11-30 05:28:02 · update #4
He just may be overwhelmed with the baby, bored with the lifestyle etc...talk to him, tell him how you feel and that you're scared. Let him know how much you and the baby need him up front and center.
2007-11-30 05:19:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't really think he cheated. Maybe he thought about it but changed his mind. In any event, the focus here shouldn't be on her. It should be on your marriage and making it stronger for all of you. Maybe go to marriage counseling. That has a way of bringing people together. I know this first hand. The focus is automatically put on the marriage. If he's not doing anything suspicious, then I'd say you have nothing to worry about. Sounds to me too like you could be a little more loving towards him too. Talk about how you feel and tell him you want the marriage and it's important to you.
2007-11-30 05:23:38 · answer #2 · answered by nonameblonde 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a guy, I find this very upsetting. After all you have gone through, to do that type of thing is a betrayal. Its not OK. In my opinion, he cheated when he took all those steps to contact the girl. I don't know how you trust someone like that, I could not. Most women would make him seeking marital counseling or divorce him. I know that's not as easy said as is it done. Unless you get counseling, you probably won't have a good life together. Things will likely fall back to the fights when this blows over.
2007-11-30 05:23:41 · answer #3 · answered by WVAttorney 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to make a decision: do you trust your husband or not?
Ask him if he is true to you - if he says that he isn't, there's your answer. If he says that he is, you must decide whether or not to believe him. If you decide that you do, you have to stick by that. If he does betray your trust, you'll have been wrong, and that would be hard, but if he really is true and you really want to be with him and make your relationship work, then you will be rewarded.
Keep in mind, too, that you have a child. Don't fight in front of the baby, even at this age. Work together like the adults you are to make things work out.
2007-11-30 05:29:48 · answer #4 · answered by Grainne 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is angry you forced him to stop. From what you say I see him as a child. I do not know what to tell you to do to proceed.
You have done the confrontation thing... you are worried clearly... now to me..and opinion only..accusing you of an affair with the counselor is as though he is preparing to find a way to get revenge on your refusal to allow him to cheat by blaming you for the next time he cheats..again. He blamed you before ... he can do it again. Yes, I believe he did cheat.
So the question really is up to you. Obviously he has problems with his behavior sexually and responsibility toward you and the baby...
If it seems to be getting better... see how it goes for awhile. Remember there is an old Irish saying..fool me once, shame on you..fool me twice..shame on me.
2007-11-30 06:06:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes he cheated.....doesn't have to by just physical to be considered cheating...If he is that unhappy with his marriage to you...he needs to be talking to you and perhaps a marriage counselor...but not with some woman online who coincidentally lives only 45 minutes away....If he is disinterested in sex with you...he most likely is getting it from someone else....
He gave you an ultimatum? Counseling or your marriage? What a dumb*ss! Apparently he doesn't care about your marriage....I wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him....if he really wanted to make your marriage work...he would do whatever it takes to make things right...and going to counseling 1 time is not giving an honest attempt at fixing your marriage....
2007-11-30 05:20:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You man sounds like the jerk I'm with. Sucks that we love them though. We always hope for the best and hope that they are telling us the truth. My man did the same thing about meeting someone online. I checked his email and told her about it and between me and her we confronted him on it. Thank God she was just as pissed as I was.
The sad thing is, it is hard to go on and not second guess everything they do. At least your man is trying by leaving his phone around. Not mine, he still keeps it in his pocket at all times. At least he is trying, so I would say give him the benefit of the doubt, but just be cautious.
2007-11-30 05:53:08 · answer #7 · answered by KRDB 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-04-21 18:22:17 · answer #8 · answered by santina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all he was being sneaky I bet you didn't know that he was talking to this female on line and talking to her on the phone as well. He was up or been up to no good. He may have changed his mind or she may have told him she didn't want to see him. It will always be in the back of your mind what did he do and why. I say seek counceling so you can learn to put this in the past.
2007-11-30 05:21:41 · answer #9 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he was at least thinking about it, maybe he got scared because you caught on so quickly.
You would probably benefit from some couples counseling.
2007-11-30 05:17:22 · answer #10 · answered by sarah jane 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋