When you ask someone How they are?

Question

Do you really have an interset or is it just something to say?

I have an interest and wait to hear. I dont ask if i dont care

Answer 1

Im so glad you asked this question. I recently wrote an essay on manners in todays society and how fake and scripted people are. When someone asks "How are you" it is just a cue for you to respond with a pre-selected answer. They dont care when they ask, its all a big game. Who can say the fakest things, who has the biggest smile, and who can give the corniest greetings. I try not to play the game. Frankly, it makes me sick. I dig sincerity. thanks for bringing this up.

Answer 2

Sometimes the wrong person will ask me how I am and I will respond with an okay or good and ask them the same just to seem polite. But when I'm talking to some close friends, relatives, or people I really care about and I ask how they are I would like to get a big response...and I give them the same. It helps start deep conversations and kind of give a inside view of how they have been since I last talked to them.

Answer 3

Same here--I ask because I really care and then I listen for the response. Exactly the same with me in that if I don't want to know, I don't ask. You see, I'm that person people feel comfortable with, so complete strangers tend to unload on me. Most of the time, I don't mind, in fact, it's a huge compliment, but sometimes, well, you're just tired, right?

Answer 4

Unfortunately it has become a greeting rather then a real heart felt question. So if a person takes it as a heart felt question it is sad to see them try to answer it to someone when it falls on deaf ears..... So I say" and tell me how have you been"....Taking their hand and the grasping it with my other hand (so holding it with both hands for a bit) and looking them directly in the eyes. If I am seeing a number of people at a time I say "good to see you" and later go back to the ones I want to know how they are and say "now tell how have you have been" holding their hand with both of mine for a bit. Then I have the time to really listen and then they know I really want to know and I'm listening.
Haven't you had that be the most important parts of your day, to have someone just take a few minutes and just really want to know how you are and to have that one on one eye and mind contact.
So that's how I do it.....and I feel warm and fuzzy afterward....
Try it you'll like it...

Answer 5

It's just something I say to be nice, unless I know them well and really care - then I might listen if I'm not too busy with other things.

Answer 6

Well - sometimes it is just a formality - I mean when i ask it, I don't expect them to say "well, things are really complicated - I'm thinking about breaking up and I'm feeling really miserable, and dammit those gas prices, aaah I'm feeling so pissed off and stuff"

So I think most of us are used to just saying the same thing when someone says "how are you."

Answer 7

I have an interest and when someone asks me I always throw them off by asking..."do you want the truth or a nice lie"
most people ask me to repeat my answer because they were not listening

Answer 8

It's just a formality for me, even while speaking three languages; although in Germany the equivalent of 'How are you?' (Wie geht's?) is not considered just a formality; people actually want to hear and will tell you how they are!

Answer 9

I only ask if I care. I hate it when people I barely know ask me that. I usually give them a long detailed answer and make them sorry for asking.

Answer 10

I guess most of the time I ask to be polite, and if they really have something to tell me I listen..but that rarely happens. Usually when you ask someone how they are doing they never really tell you how they are really doing...