Is it really as bad as everyone makes it out to be? I want to get married one day but after constantly hearing how terrible it is and having marriage referred to being sentenced to a life in prison, I am not sure I want to make that life commitment. Your opinions please!!!
2007-11-30 05:09:16 · 37 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I was 23 when I met my wife and 24 when I got married. I think you have to realize that alot of the people on here have been burned by there iwfe or there husband and are just well
nasty on the whole concept of marriage. If you are smart and you marry out of love and seeing yourself spending your life with this person and growing old with them then marriage can be an awesome experience.
You must also come to the reality that marrige is alot of hardwork and compromise full of lot's of good stuff and well bad. It has it's high's and low's but so does any relationship.
You must also be ready for children never rush into anything
and if it is something you want make sure it is something your potential husband wants as well because you cannot change anyone to your way of thinking. It is also becoming more common that people are not having kids.
When you find the person you will fall in love with and them with you it will just feel normal to get married. Choosing wisely and making sure your compatible for the long hall is important.
One question to ask a potential husband is what he thinks the role of the husband is in marriage. I mention this because some men still have a view that of there mother and how they did everything while their dad sat around doing nothing. We are in the year 2007 not 1960 Men have just as much responsibilty in raisng the children, doing household chores and even cooking dinner and running errands. This is something you should be expecting and should not have to fight about.
God Bless and Best Wishes marriage is what you make it
you can be happy or you can be miserable it comes down to
the person you choose and how much you love them.
2007-11-30 06:40:26 · answer #1 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh it's not that bad, most of those people have made bad decisions in life and rue the fact that they have to live with them. The secret to a successful marriage is the person you choose and the discussion you have prior to getting married.
Wait until you are old enough to know what you want out of life so you can choose a partner who also has reached that stage in life and wants the same things you do.
Recognize that in general people do not change. If he spends his weekends drinking beer in front of the TV you can pretty much bet that 20 years from now he will be spending his weekends drinking beer watching TV and not paying attention to you or your kids.
Also look at how you fight, make sure the person you choose can work through an argument instead of holding it against you. You want someone who can admit they are wrong and are not afraid to make amends.. You of course must have the same attitudes.
The problem with most people who are bitter on marriage is that the guys choose a girl based on the size of their chest and girls choose the good looking party boy never realizing that he won't grow up.
The secret to a happy marriage is to realize that the choice in a partner is yours. If you choose to marry someone hoping they will change you will be very disappointed. Only you can choose to see past the emotional blinders and see reality. Make wise choices and you will have a happy marriage.
2007-11-30 05:23:34 · answer #2 · answered by Average Joe 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No don't listen to all these people who say marriage is so horrible. when you get married you have to pick the right person and make sure you both get along and are compatible. If you rush yourself into marriage then their is a a possibility that you will not be happy. But I can tell you their will be fights and times you get so mad at them you cant see strait. But for me the good out way the bad their are so many days that are great and wonderful. you get to wake up next to the person you love and cherish every morning and go to bed in their arms. You work through the hard times because you know better days are to come and it makes your relationship that much closer. When you find the right person you will feel its the right thing to do and you will love them and can imagine yourself growing old with that person and spending the rest of your life with them. So good luck the right one is out there and marriage is worth it!
2007-11-30 05:33:44 · answer #3 · answered by nikie_atkinson 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't consider marriage a life sentence. You have to work very hard at being married and having a family . Not everyone is cut out for being married and sharing their lives together. If you can try to put effort in to it go for it . It can be great to have someone there for you that loves and cares for you and then when children come into the picture it's even more wonder full . Good Luck !
2007-11-30 05:19:57 · answer #4 · answered by Ana C pisces1976 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is not a prison, but at the same time you do lose a lot of your freedom and some of your identity do to you being married to him.
Personally, I love being married. I love being a wife.....it is hard. I will not lie to you....being married is harder than any job out there and you don't get paid for it.....but it's a real joy.
The thing is that you need to Wait for the right one....Marrying the wrong man will make your life miserable......
You will hear people say that Marriage is 50/50 but in reality both of you need to give 100% so it's 100/100.......
2007-11-30 05:17:42 · answer #5 · answered by Been There Done That 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is a wonderful partnership. I have been married for almost a year. It is A LOT of hard work but it is worth it!
I know I haven't been married for long but I learned early that the love is not just an emotion, it is a choice that we have to make each and everyday. I think that's why so many marriages fail because people are unrealistic. They think that "in love feeling" will last forever and they will live happily ever after. You can live happily ever after, but "happily ever after" comes from a great deal of work on both ends.
2007-11-30 05:49:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
We reap what we sow. If you put into your marriage all the love and trust and communication and friendship and you get those things back, how could it be a life in prison? All of the people who berate marriage are either selfish, have married the wrong person (when the red flags are usually there but we choose to ignore them) or just haven't put into their marriage what they should. Marriage can be a beautiful blessing but it is work and it does take commitment. So I think we reap what we sow.
2007-11-30 05:17:08 · answer #7 · answered by nonameblonde 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was with my soon to be ex-wife for 9 years before we got married. We lived together and we have an eight year old son together.
Then one year after we got married, she said, she loved me but was not in love with me and that she needed to find herself.
If we would not have gotten married, she would be able to simply walk away and we could make arrangements to see our son. But since we are married we are heading to divorce court.
I always felt marriage was about the everyday act of being married and not the legally bonding aspect or the fact that you have made a commitment.
I think that if you truly love someone and they truly love you, there is no need to be married and have that hanging over your head at all times.
I think it shows trust (which is better that a commitment) and love if someone is ok with not having to make things official.
2007-11-30 05:23:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am divorced for 17 yrs and I will probably never marry again. If you are questioning the commitment, don't get married. In years past, people married out of need. The woman needed to be supported financially and the man needed a domestic servant and vessel for his children. Nowadays, women support themselves. I believe that people should come together out of love, not need. You don't need a binding legal contract to love your SO. I believe marriage is an archaic institution that has outlived it's usefulness.
2007-11-30 05:45:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is WORK! Most people go into a marriage thinking that it will be a story book romance. You have to work at being happy. The best advice I got before I got married was some days you love eachother, most days you work at it.
It has many benifits but it doesnt just happen.
2007-11-30 06:05:41 · answer #10 · answered by nickii3049578 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋