the father of my baby, who has been with me for three years, is getting married with a woman who has been his gf for almost thirteen years. He's getting married this december. Although I've known about his gf for a long time and their plans, our relationship still went on until such time that i had his baby. Now he's reunited with her and they are planning their wedding. I just want to know, should i give him a last call to ask him if he misses me and our baby, or if he's happy (happier that when it was the three of us) or if he is truly going through with the wedding. I haven't heard from him since they were reunited. Should i be doing this for the last time, as a closure on my part? please help me!!!!
2007-11-30 05:01:17 · 56 answers · asked by violetlady 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Just move on sweetie - he did obviously
2007-11-30 05:04:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not trying to be mean about this but are you just trying to make him feel guilty or something? Think about this, what are you accomplishing by asking him if he misses you and his child? I think that you already have your answer - he is marrying this other woman, if he wasn't happy do you think he would be getting married? Don't you think that if he felt he would be happier with you he would be with you and not this other woman?
Having said those things, I think it's best to do what you feel is right and what will give you the closure you need. What I've said is only based on what I imagine I might do in a similar situation but I don't have the whole story and this is your experience. Follow your heart.
I say, let him go. However, I do hope that he plans on being a part of his child's life or at very least be offering support.
2007-11-30 05:11:47 · answer #2 · answered by JD 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you want a man that thinks so little of you, he's making wedding plans with someone else? You shouldn't even have to ask him the questions you were talking about. If he missed you and the baby, he'd be with you and the baby. You and your child deserve someone that would be more dedicated to you than that. You do need to make him financially responsible if nothing else, for his child, though. As far as a relationship with him, that's about as smart as sticking your hand to a red hot stove eye. You're BOUND to get hurt. Let him walk, honey, because anyone that can walk away from you anyway is not someone you need in your life. I know it hurts, but on the other side of this will be someone that really loves and respects you and doesn't run off making wedding arrangements with another woman, and you deserve more.
2007-11-30 05:13:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, this will not give you closure but rather prolong your agony even further. Because more than likely you're not gonna like what he has to say. My heart goes out to you that you allowed this man to hurt you so much. But you brought this pain on yourself as you were aware of the girlfriend. What your next action should be is to contact the Child Support Enforcement Agency. His child first off deserves to know who daddy is and be apart of his life. And not to mention the Child Support will aid you with raising your child so that the baby has all of the same opportunities as their future children. You will be pretty upset knowing of all the goodies his kids are getting while he leaves your child you had together in the dark. Don't sell your baby short because of your feelings. Put all your concerns with your baby. Then forget this man. Find a man who loves and wants only you. Find a man who is willing to take care of you and the baby. You deserve to be loved and needed. So quit selling yourself short! Get mad for yourself and the baby. Know you both deserve to be happy. Good Luck & God Bless!
2007-11-30 05:31:28 · answer #4 · answered by zerotimeforfun 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't let myself be so vulnerable...
He obviously is a cad as he carried on with both of you at one time.
Did you really think he would stay with you and leave her????
I think you need some counselling and you should wake up and smell the coffee.
You need to get a court order for child support and if he wants to see the child, arrangements should be ordered by the court. You need to have him support the child and don't feel sorry for him... The child should have what a normal father could provide......do not let the child suffer or you suffer....
As far as if he misses you or the baby, you can't be,really thinking he does.
This kind of man will tell a woman anything she wants to hear.
I believe you got off easy and didn't get stuck with him for 13 years.
It is time to move on, be a great Mom, love your child and if you need to get more education now is the time.. get yourself a great job and be the successful woman you know you are...
We all make mistakes but fortunately we have lovely children and they become our lives...
Move on my dear, he was never yours in the first place.....
2007-11-30 05:10:44 · answer #5 · answered by doclakewrite 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just make a clean cut. Don't be vindictive, just do what you have to do. Begin the procedings for child support, and get your life back on track. Once you are all back on track then with you and your child then you can consider dating someone again. This time make sure that they are not dating anyone else. At the first glimps that they may be with someone else cut ties. You are a strong woman and deserve to have a man who will be a strong helpmate to you and who will make a great roll model for your child. Remember every move that you make is setting an example for your child.
2007-11-30 05:25:57 · answer #6 · answered by memacabr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your own relationship with this man is over and you need to accept that. He cheated on anothe woman and used you and now you are left with a child that he seems to have forgotten about. Why would you want a man like that?
HOWEVER, this man is still the father of your child and he has a moral and financial responsibility to care for that child. Don't call him; call an attorney. You need to make sure this man stands up and takes care of his child and you need to do it legally. If the love of his life doesn't know about you or the baby, tough. She's gonna find out now and that's his problem to deal with, not yours.
Call an attorney today and establish your rights and those of your child.
2007-11-30 05:13:03 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Does he see the baby or help with the baby at all. Does she know the baby is his. My advice is if not u need to call him and find out what he is going to do as far as the child is concerned. Because the baby is more important than anything.
2007-11-30 05:07:17 · answer #8 · answered by Melinda B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try this great article:
Is Your Relationship Healthy? Some Questions To Ask Yourself
http://www.hearts-and-kisses.com/relationshipadvice-is-your-relationship-healthy.html
2007-11-30 06:15:18 · answer #9 · answered by lovehealer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need that closure. He's moved on but Iwill put money on it that once things are not going well in is marriage, he will be giving you a call for sex and he sounds like he will say whatever he needs to say to get it.
So get your closure and then move on, ultimately he will always be in your life because you guys have a klid together.
2007-11-30 05:08:36 · answer #10 · answered by huckleberryjoe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if he had this gf for thirteen years and you knew it ,Then I am sure the woman he's marrying knows about you.and if she don't than she would know about the child. every child needs a mother and if possible his father.not to just get with him but to me this is more important than just tiring to stop a wedding. and if this man wanted you he wouldn't be marrying someone else I t 's' not about you it's about the child.
2007-11-30 05:47:02 · answer #11 · answered by Clementine J 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋