I've been married before. It only lasted 7 months, and I ended up marrying a crazy person. I still to this day believe I got out right before it would have become really bad (he started hitting inanimate objects in rage over dumb things).
Honestly, I've been thinking maybe I'll get married one day. After going through all this... its too of a hassle getting divorced from a jerk.
I was already extremely independent way before him. I've been saying since I was 4 years old (now 23) that I don't want kids. Too many men get in relationships with me thinking I'll change my mind, I don't, and they get mad. My ex actually pretended to not want kids, and a month after getting married he suddenly wanted them.
I'm very goal-oriented, driven, and determined to take care of myself in life (I'm not depending on a man ever again).
My father has plenty of friends in their 40s who have never been married and never will.
2007-11-30 03:37:21 · 17 answers · asked by Ashley84 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I've been wondering lately if I'm one of those people who just aren't meant for marriage. I like my life a certain way. I've had too many relationships where they asked me to give up on who I was and focus on them. I've rarely seen non-controlling men. I don't want children, and most men want them.
Can people actually be NOT meant for marriage?
2007-11-30 03:41:01 · update #1
ABSOLUTELY!!!! Not everyone is meant for Marriage, not everyone is meant for Children either. It doesn't make your life any less important. It's just you are living the Life that makes you Happy, and isn't that what Life is All about? Being Happy. You can still have a very full, fun, successful ,productive life, being Single !! It's everyone's individual CHOICE. You Are Who you Are!! Enjoy!!
2007-11-30 03:50:07 · answer #1 · answered by casper 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I think there ARE some people who should never be married but I don't think you are one of them. Being independent and liking your life a certain way doesn't mean you shouldn't get married. You've just not met the right man yet who actually APPRECIATES independence, a career-minded woman, etc. There are plenty of men out there who don't want children. I'll use my sister-in-law and her husband as an example. She's very independent, smart, and is very much in control of her life but she's been happily married for 10 years to a wonderful man. Neither one of them has ever wanted kids so they just enjoy their hobbies and time with friends and family. They have a GREAT r'ship.
You had a bad experience which has greatly jaded your view of marriage. That doesn't mean you should never consider it again.
The people who should never get married are people who are 1) completely selfish, 2) don't understand what it takes to make a r'ship work, and 3) people who have no ability to stay faithful.
2007-11-30 04:11:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think the issue is the type of men that you date. You need to find a man who is like you.
I worked with a woman who was so career oriented that she worked up until the last possible day of her pregnancy and then planned on getting back to work as soon as possible. She met her husband at work and they often worked on clients together and traveled together.
Since they were both work-aholics they got along really well. You need to find someone who is goal oriented and not so interested in a family.
The best thing to do is to find a man who becomes your best friend and then try romance. Since he will already be your best friend, you will know if he really wants children before the romance. You will really know him.
The only people that I think are not meant to be married are people who do not respect their partners. They have no business getting married.
Take care,
Troy
2007-11-30 04:23:32 · answer #3 · answered by tiuliucci 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
There's nothing wrong with not wanting kids or marriage. You just need to make sure that any partner you have knows that, and isn't just saying so to make you happy.
It doesn't make you a bad person, it just means that you know what you want. I don't see how that hurts anyone else as long as everybody is on the same page.
Lots of people are not meant for marriage, but marry anyway. Lots of people are not meant for parenthood, but procreate anyway. In both those situations, at least one person loses.
2007-11-30 03:47:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think the answer to your question is yes, as in, marriage is not for everyone. Monogamy is not for everyone. Being a parent is not for everyone. There is so much pressure to get married, stay married and have kids, but if those really aren't things you want in life, it would be a pity to force yourself (especially if there are children involved.)
That said, it sounds like maybe you just didn't marry the right person. There is probably a much more harmonious and sane match for you... but it sounds like you are comfortable with your independence, and I REALLY REALLY admire that in a fellow indy-girl.
Best wishes to you, and cheers to inedpendence and self-sufficiency!
2007-11-30 03:44:23 · answer #5 · answered by anon 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Some people are not meant to get married. You're only 23 - why in the world would you worry about this now? Wait another 10 years then worry about it. I think marriage is overrated myself. I've been happily divorced for 5 years.
2007-11-30 04:14:37 · answer #6 · answered by tahnwen 2 · 5⤊ 1⤋
Sure. If that's where you are right now then live your life accordingly. Nothing has to be written in stone at your age. I have girlfriends that made the same decision as you and they are living the lives they wanted to. Go about your life, be independent and if you never feel the need to get married or have kids, enjoy your life!
2007-11-30 04:00:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes and I am relieved you asked. Many people are not meant for marriage.. sounds like that guy you were with is one of them as well.
It is OK to not get married and to not have children. Just keep on being a wonderful person no matter what.
2007-11-30 03:42:47 · answer #8 · answered by BelieverinGod 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I really believe there are alot of people out there that don't want marriage. I have a cousin who is a prime example. She's 44, very successful and independent, and doesn't want to get married.
My ex is another one I don't think is fit for marriage. He doesn't know how to be a husband, so I know he's better off single.
2007-11-30 03:44:37 · answer #9 · answered by dinny's engaged!! 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
im not the marriage type and dont htink i will i think its a waste of money bc you waste so much in the wedding and then even more on divorce and plus its just one day celebration and a paper wow! big deal i dont need a paper that has my signatur and my hubby's
i live with my man and daughter and i love so tranquil b/c i know that the day we dont want to be with eachother we dont have to see eachother in court or with lawyers and such things like that! we'll just part ways with nothing to worry about
2007-11-30 04:48:24 · answer #10 · answered by TTC #2 Baby Dust MEEE! 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋