He likes to pretend that everything is okay, like living in lala land. But I want to come up with solutions because pretending like nothing is wrong does not make the anger and fights go away. Although when we do try to resolve something, all it does is bring another fight. Each of us feels the other is being unfair. There is never an ounce of understanding even when we try. I am willing to bend but he's just stuck in his thinking and shrugs off the problem. So the happy times seem fake. How is it supposed to work when only one person wants to really fix the problems? Maybe he doesn't care to fix it b/c he's not the one receiving most of the insults? More than half the time I feel like we're strangers living under one roof.
2007-11-30 03:23:37 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Show him what you just told millions of strangers. Tell him you have hit the wall and things need to change one way or the other.
2007-11-30 03:27:46 · answer #1 · answered by pretiusmaximus 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just got out of a three year relationship because of this same problem. And when I left he decided to write a two page letter to me telling me how he felt about me and how he didnt want to lose me, but I still to this day can not understand why he couldn't appreciate me until I decided to leave. He wouldnt talk to me for days at a time if we had a disagreement, so finally I got fed up. I think that it is the difference between most men and women. We push to hard to find answers and they would rather sweep it under the rug...it is no fun living and sleeping in the same bed as a stranger, you should tell him that. Other parts of your relationship may begin to suffer due to the lack of communication on his part. Maybe you should write him a letter saying everything that you want from him and ask him to write you back with all of his expectations and if both of you can not compromise you sides enough to come to an understanding then rethinking your situation should come into play.
2007-11-30 03:40:46 · answer #2 · answered by seeking 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe it is time to bring in a mediator as in go to marriage counselling. If he doesn't see that you are hurting and need of some communication to clear the waters persay maybe telling him yolu have set up an appointment for the two of you to see a counsellor will make it clear to him. Do not take a no from him tell him if he cannot do this for the marriage then you see know other alternative then divorce.
God Bless and Best Wishes
2007-11-30 03:34:58 · answer #3 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that is a common problem. I have the same thing going on at times. I have found that timing is everything, and the tone of the voice carries alot of weight. Example: if I want to talk about something that is bothering me, I wait til he is relaxed and say "can we talk?" and if he is open, I try to not attack him, but let him know that I am bothered by it. Try to be positive, Like: I really like it when you do this or that, but when you do this it upsets me and I react.
If that doesn't work there is also counceling that can help you communicate with one another.
2007-11-30 03:32:44 · answer #4 · answered by Ellyn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you both want counseling. in the adventure that your husband might want to enable yet another lady impression him that a lot about his spouse its a touch scary. yet you're saying you've been married for 4 years and he treats you want airborne dirt and mud. nicely you gotta come to three extent the position your sick and drained of being sick and drained and get the braveness to leave or make him replace. Marriage is an exceedingly severe vow although infidelity and abuse psychological or actual can not be tolerated!
2016-10-25 05:21:43 · answer #5 · answered by galustian 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What are these arguements over? If they are like taking out the trash and you both get into an arguement well that is just stupid to fight over anyhow. When two people argue there is really a no win situation. I argue with my husband and I notice that nobody wins. It is up to the both of you if you want to move on.
2007-11-30 03:33:43 · answer #6 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i feel the same way. I'm really sorry you seem to be going through the same situation. I suggest you hanging there if you have kids. if not leave!!! find some one that is jus the way you like.
if you are in love ...then work it out...this is what we do..i talk his ear off. and he listens now..he use to tell me to stop everytime i brough something up..now he listen and doesn't leave me alone in the house. its taken a long time...but we are getting better we are sharing more with eachother...kinda like getting to know eachother. Ask him what he likes and do it...go out of your way so he sees it..make him feel special but also be straight forward with him. Men don't like to confront issues they run from them. But give it some time. Tell him how much you love him..and he'll begin to open up to you.
2007-11-30 03:33:17 · answer #7 · answered by Tica 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im in same situation after a bust up few days ago now hes gone no chat no email no online relationship long distance
2007-11-30 03:29:28 · answer #8 · answered by aamantbelle 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in the same boat you are in. I really would like to go to therapy but he refuses. I too am at my wit's end. When everything is fine we are as happy as can be. Lot's of luck to you.
2007-11-30 03:39:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know what to do about that either. Mine agrees and then does nothing or does the same thing he has always done. We only have one problem in our lives and it is his ex wife......it is really bad.
2007-11-30 03:36:49 · answer #10 · answered by Rein 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋