Should I stay with my wife?

Question

My wife and I have had 8 shaky years together and this year was a horrible year. First in an arguement she jumps across the bed and breaks her knee, prior to that she attacked me a hurt my shoulder. Next she got pregnant - quit her very-high paying job - never got another one - and I was stuck paying every single bill. Now due to another (we've had 8) misscarriage - we have no child (that hurts), our house is about to be foreclosed and I'm 3months behind in all bills. My water and cable were cut off yesterday - my power tomorrow. I'm starting to hate my wife - really hate her. I don't want to so should I just leave and let it all go - start over. Or should I continue to be the idiot/good guy and stick it out until all gets better - if ever?

Answer 1

I'd say at least try to stick it out for the kid...

Answer 2

Well even if you were to leave your wife the bills would not go away, you would still be stuck with the bills that you currently have and the bills that will occur when and if you start all over. I can't tell you what to do with your situation, but it sounds as if you both are irritated with the fact that you don't have any children. It's not all the other stuff, the other stuff is just a covering for the real problem. The bible says to never divorce if there is no cheating involved. I think if you guys sit down and either talk it out like ADULTS and not children, and if you both can't do that alone, talk to a counselor, mediator, etc and work on the real reason (pregnancy/children) why you two aren't getting alone. I really think you two will be okay once you get passed the real problem. If you can't have children, try adopting an infant baby, at least that way it will be yours from an infant stage.

Answer 3

No matter what were the reasons , but if you started to have this life... what for to continue? Is there any sign of getting better? I have a big doubt. Have you really lived in all these 8 years? Have you realised enything but hateing each other? Why is so hard to break it once and for all? What is so scaring? The independence, the lonlyness? I am a divorced woman and I promisse you nothing is worst than an unhappy marriage, even if you have children. By the way, you would wonder why God haven't gave you to have kids together... Any way, from the moment you both will decide corectly about your life, the rest of the problems will start to rezolve (the bills, the house, the money). And the proper person will apear after a "mourning" time. Just take your breath!

Answer 4

I think you two should really try to make it work. I think that you should get counseling to discuss what is expected of one another. If she is not willing to try to resolve some issues then her heart is really not in the relationship and it has probably been over for a long time. As for children... you should not be sad you don't have any kids. You should be thankful that you are not raising children in an unstable situation. That would not be fair to anyone. Make sure you are happy with yourselves and your relationship before making a child suffer. Kids need to come first and it doesn't sound like you or your wife can provide that kind of attention at this time.

Answer 5

Ask yourself this...are the good times worth all of the basd times that you are going thru? She is probably as unhappy as you are and she is probably hurting with carrying and losing 8 children. Maybe you should suggest that she works again so that it she doesnt just have to be home. But if you do truly hate her staying with her may not be the answer. It is nice that you are a good guy, but neither one of you probably deserve to be in a relationship where you are as unhappy as you are portraying it. Also the violent behavior is unhealthy, one day when you are getting along (if ever) you should calmly ask her about it, like "when you get mad should I leave before you decide to get viplent or would that just make the situation worse?" see what she says. Good Luck! By the way, in my experience the grass isn't always greener, but it could be just as brown.

Answer 6

Has your wife always been this violent, have the miscarriages made her do this? Did she quit her job in an effort to carry this baby? Don't forget when you say she got pregnant you were there.
I would say you need to do some serious soul searching and decide if you truly love this woman and want to save the marriage. If so sit down and really talk to together about finances, children, the miscarriages, your feelings, her feelings and where you go from here.
If you don't love her, or if she won't communciate with you without fighting I would leave.

Answer 7

Only You will know for sure. BUt it sounds like you and your wife have had some really trying times, just with the miscarriages alone. I don't think you should cut and run. Your wife may be in a severe depression from her most resent miscarriage. That may be "why" she quit her job or hasn't tried finding another. Sounds like you could both use some counseling. Try it!! It can't hurt. And you aren't alone on being "broke" either. These are really tough times for ALOT of Americans!! It sucks!! And you know, when it rains, it Pours!! Good Luck!!!

Answer 8

First, realise the motive and final result. Why do you move to paintings? To get PAID. Now, do not get me incorrect, you're surely pondering yeah to help her. Right? But, incorrect. If you're this in charge man, you might nonetheless be operating with out her. Now, does this imply that it does not depend for whatever, no, under no circumstances. Next, what varieties of loved ones events are we speaking approximately. See, my husband believes he's spending loved ones time with us whilst he's residence. He both places a film on that the kids aren't allowed to observe or sits in entrance of the pc. None the fewer this isn't loved ones time. He additionally believes that high-quality time together with his spouse falls beneath the equal class as loved ones time. When I inform him I might use a holiday from the children he says I'll take them external so you'll be able to get the condominium wiped clean. Meanwhile the young children are jogging out and in desiring aid with wiping and washing fingers. Now permit me ask you for those who get annual increases? I am certain you do. I would not to a lot adore it if my organisation did not deliver me a price of dwelling elevate at least. Overall, it sounds such as you suppose as regardless that you're getting used. I need to say that she is probably not giving wherein credit score is due, however you would now not both. She would now not be creating wealth however absolutely she is saving the loved ones cash, proper? Is she getting credit score for that? Look, I am now not pronouncing that your activity is effortless however nor is hers. I as a keep at residence mother have my moments. I am very established whilst university is in however within the summers I am very comfy. I permit alot of the home tasks slide so I may also be external with the children. Maybe now that university is again in she is going to get with it? Woman want love and information and guys want appreciate. The much less one offers, the fewer the opposite feels it. Maybe she feels your frustration and thinks whats the factor?

Answer 9

You are describing physical abuse by your wife! This does not fall in the category "for better or worst". There is only so much you can do... but come on now 8 years of your life living with someone that wants to hurt you? You can do better than that.

No one should stand for being abused leave before you act on your hateful feelings but document everything that she has done with doctor/hospital visits etc.

Answer 10

Wow. It really sounds like youre upset, which is what anyone would be in your situation.

What are your fights about? major issues or are they about little things that can be solved but end up escalating instead.

Marriage these days seems to be 'oh, if it doesnt work out we'll just get divorced' which is totally wrong. But it seems like in this case some things you just need to walk away from.

Have you told her this is how you feel? That she need to get a job? that youre about to lose the house?

If she makes you THAT unhappy its not worth it.

If you give an HONEST effort and feel like you have done everything you can to try and save this thing, than maybe its time walk away from it.

Answer 11

It will never get better. If after 8 years it is still horrible, what do you think will make it better? This is no marriage. This is a torture chamber.

Get out and do it now!! This is the best time, because between the two of you, you have nothing and therefore nothing to split.

Take care and Good Luck,
Troy