when you're a married couple..What do you do when you have no family to look after your kids and you're surrounded by freak'n druggies. We're in a bad area, currently looking to move and the school my daughters in isn't the best so I don't want to ask about babysitting there. We're in an extremely small town and we're dying to get out. Last time I went out was this past July and prior to that 3 yrs ago to my father-in-laws funeral. I can't get the same babysitter (my neighbours kid) long long story ended in the mullet lady getting hurt!
Do I just suck it up and try to trust a stranger with my kids that I don't know or do what I currently do and have date nights inside the house when the kids are asleep?
Cheers!
2007-11-30 03:14:07 · 32 answers · asked by Yummy♥Mummy 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I ask this b/c we've been told we're too protective of our kids, I say you can never be too trusting of a complete stranger and especially in regards to your kids! But people say put yourself and spouse ahead of your kids-isn't that stupid?!
2007-11-30 03:21:10 · update #1
Don't do the church thing--atheist here.
2007-11-30 03:25:14 · update #2
For right now, I'd keep the date nights inside the house...pop some popcorn, watch a movie, play a board game, or just sit and talk. I'd be scared to leave kids with anyone that I didn't fully trust...once you move to a better neighborhood, start going out and leaving kids with trusted neighbors in the area.
2007-11-30 03:17:32 · answer #1 · answered by Katy B 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow. I feel for you. Aren't there ANY other parents you can trust? perhaps you can trade babysitting with them, especially if they are in the same boat.
What about daycare workers - they've most likely had a background check on them. Or church workers (even though you're atheist) - they usually have background checks as well.
It's not putting your spouse before your kids. It's realizing that your marriage was there first and is the foundation that holds the family together. The best gift you can give your kids is a marriage that is strong, loving and such. That's like tending to one flower while reglecting the whole garden. Soon, the weeds will take it ALL over if you told tend to the bigger picture FIRST.
Date nights are always fun at the house - we have them a lot since we have 3 kids. We subscribe to Netflix and that's very nice. We get take out - or at the very least do a crockpot in the morning so that the evening meal is "POOF!" prepared without you having to really cook that night.
I hope you can find some solutions -
Take care!
2007-11-30 04:06:54 · answer #2 · answered by iam1funnychick 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yummy, I know what you mean. I don't trust anyone! My children are the most precious things in the world so I don't leave them with anyone unless they are family (at least at this age). We also don't have much family, only my Dad so whenever he can babysit is when we go out.
In your situation I know it's tough, but I guess I would maybe visit the nearest daycare and ask the director to recommend someone they can trust and is competent. I would have them come over and babysit while you are there for only an hour or so so it's not that expensive. Then I would have her come again and watch the kids while they are sleeping, at least when they are sleeping not many accidents can occur. Sometimes they will accept less money too if they are just watching the kids while they are sleeping, they can get homework done or just watch a movie. Also, go out on a weeknight so if you want to pay a little less the babysitter won't feel like they are giving up their Friday or Saturday night for just $20 or whatever.
2007-11-30 03:43:29 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Date nights are important only because you and your husband are spending time together. If your date night consists of drinking a glass of wine on the couch and playing scrabble-so be it. My fiance and I have "dates" like that all the time. As long as you guys are having time together to talk and express feelings, be intimate-that is all you need. Also-if you guys maybe go do those mundane errands together maybe when your children are in school-stop and get an ice cream or coffee together. Make even the most mundane things exciting again. That is also something else me and my fiance will do. Every Sunday we go grocery shopping and on the way home, we stop and get a coffee and sit and chat for a few minutes before heading home to the piles of laundry that need to be and dishes that need to be scrubbed. I actually look forward to Sundays now.....EVERYTHING can turn into a "date" if the effort is put forth.
And just for the record-I agree on the leaving the kids with a stranger thing. I am hoping that the people that suggest that dont have kids and dont realize what it is like......
2007-11-30 03:50:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Never trust strangers with your kids. If you don't have any family members to watch your kids then do the day time dating. There is nothing wrong with going on a date doing the day time while your kids is in school. If you both work days then just take a personal day off or sick day. You may find that you guys will have more fun.
2007-11-30 03:39:50 · answer #5 · answered by Musicman 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would arrange to have a "date night" at home...I know it is not the same thing as going out but it works....put the kids to bed & have a romantic evening...dinner, movie, etc.
Also there are many things that you can do together that don't require much. Play a board game, work on a puzzle, or go for a walk hand in hand.
I would NOT trust my children to strangers & "freak'n druggies"
2007-11-30 03:19:54 · answer #6 · answered by sugarbear0772 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well since you have nobody to watch the kids why not make a fun family date. No I would not just have some strange kid watch my child. I remember being young and babysitting and I should of got fired. I was on the phone most of the time. The kids I was babysitting well one was only 1 year younger then me. I remember I was 15 he was 14 and he wanted to go to the store and get a pack of cigarettes well instead of telling him no I told him to pick me up a pack as well lol.
2007-11-30 03:19:59 · answer #7 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you must consider a service of some kind some cities now have babysitting services research your area. Really sometimes you need to bite the bullet and hire a stranger just so you can keep your marriage strong and well the fires burning.
God Bless and Best Wishes. If it scares you to do this consider a hidden camera system so you can be sure if something does go wrong you have proof.
2007-11-30 03:20:35 · answer #8 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
NO PLEASE NEVER TRUST A STRANGER WITH YOUR KIDS!! Iam all for a date night but in your situation it is very hard. I would suck it up or take the kids with you even if you have 10!! Make your own date night at home after you have put the kids asleep have a couple of bottles of wine and watch movies. Do you have any friends with kids and hubbies? If so get together with all of them even if you have to drive out of that area your in be feel safer. Whatever you do dont trust nobody you dont know with your kids hon. I hope this helps.
CurlySue
2007-11-30 03:20:24 · answer #9 · answered by CurlySue 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
you need to move, your idea about being overprotective and living in a bad area do not jive. we moved when our son was 6 from an ok area to a wonderful area, big financial sacrifice, best thing we could have ever ever done. why do you have no family and are surrounded by druggies. ?? in a small town yet?? does not make sense. solve that problem first and the date night thing and the other stuff will go away. promise.
2007-11-30 04:21:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋