My father-in-laws marriage is falling apart. Why? He's in la la land day in and day out. He doesn't concentrate well on tasks, and recently was placed on disability with his employer because he can't stay focused at work.
Does he want to get a new job? No. Is he concerned about how the bills are going to be paid? No.
He's not concerned about anything. He is a Christian but has a warped view and just repeats "God will provide".
He doesn't concern himself with any of the affairs of the house, paying bills, organizing the budget, cleaning the home, doing laundry, keeping himself showered and clean.
He does what he wants to do when he wants to do it. He recently went to a counselor provided by his work. He didn't even mention he was having marital problems! Yet that's all he can talk about when I'm around him.
I'm coming to the conclusion there is something wrong in his head. He's had brain surgery twice in his life, but he'll never admit he has a problem.
What's wrong?
2007-11-30 03:14:01 · 16 answers · asked by It's the hair 5 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Oh yeah, he's VERY forgetful too.
I sat down with him one day and showed him how to do something on the computer, probably spent 20 minutes with him.
Just a week later, he asked me to do it again and had no memory of what I did just a week ago (other than the fact we did do something on the computer)!
2007-11-30 03:24:44 · update #1
Both surgeries were to remove brain tumors, most recent was Feb. 2007
2007-11-30 03:35:29 · update #2
Dear Cucumber:
He is living In "Disney"!
He lacks "Emotional-Intelligence"!
He REQUIRES a "Check-Up~
From the Neck UP!"
INTERVENTION is the KEY!
Immediately get family members
together & seek Professional Counsel!
I feel sad for your Family!
Good Luck!
Stay Focused & Help Him!
2007-11-30 03:23:32 · answer #1 · answered by LedHead 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
He could just be having problems either from whatever forced the brain surgery in the past, or blow-outs from high blood pressure or just plain senility. He could use a cat scan or MRI to check the state of his physical brain. He could even have a tumor.
It also sounds like he could be depressed. He does not seem to care and he seems pre-occupied with something that he is not sharing. It sounds like whatever it is is eating him up, though. He would need therapy for that.
Alternately, he might have been thrown for a loop due to a mid-life crisis and just not be able to choose his new path yet. A counselor should be able to help him work through that though.
If he does not start to function as a member of the household or society soon, his wife will assume he is just withdrawing from society at her expense and she will divorce him.
He needs the CAT Scan and with the surgical history he should be able to get one on his insurance. He then needs to talk things through with a counselor - you are concerned about the marriage, but the marital issues are a symptom, not the source of the problem, which is why no one is paying much heed to that right now - even though the marriage may end in the meantime. So if the CAT scan and counseling do not yeild answers, he needs to see a therapist, because depression is a dangerous problem and does have many of these symptoms. If the problem is something else mental, the therapist could get him the needed medications and he could recover quite quickly if they can figure out a chemical deficiency and remediate it adequately with medication. In that case, his wife would remain with him as long as he chooses to take his medication - some people stop after a while and then they are on their own.
2007-11-30 03:26:29 · answer #2 · answered by Amy R 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesnt sound to much like a chemical imbalance, such as deppression. Has he be slightly going down hill to where he is or was it an over night type thing? What were the surgerys for? when was the last one done? Maybe the problem is back. It sounds like neurogolical damage of some sort. Cells either dying or being damaged in the brain. Which could come off as "depression" or being crazy. It sounds like he's emotionalless. I would take him to get a xray of his brain. Brain damage or dying brain cells sound about right on this one. Let me know if I am right.
2007-11-30 03:32:38 · answer #3 · answered by Michael 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I certainly sympathize with you.
The two brain surgeries must have done something more or less than it should. Perhaps you can inquire with the counselor of your father-in-law so that you can have a pretty good picture of what is going on.
Lastly, there is nothing impossible with God. However, God can only be accessed through humble yet persistent prayer.
2007-11-30 03:23:33 · answer #4 · answered by SEALTIEL 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there isn't enough detail to be sure.
this could be depression, and effect of 2 brain surgeries, or that an old problem has returned.
Could be early onset senility.
It doesn't sound like Alzheimer's, as i understand the symptoms.
Not showering and staying clean is a good clue that SOMETHING is wrong, not just marital problems.
2007-11-30 03:19:37 · answer #5 · answered by nickipettis 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow! at first I would say he sounds like a douchebag, but I have heard of this happening... with my own family.
Being a guy I can make the following statement: When there is something going on that is bad (problems in a relationship) rather than showing sad emotions, we pretend not to care or get upset. This is how we cope with our stress; we take it out on dumb things, rather than solving what is important.
Once he realizes that his marriage is important to him I believe he would then figure it out... it just takes time.
Sorry about your luck, sport.
2007-11-30 03:25:12 · answer #6 · answered by Ricardo S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not a clue...even a professional psychologist or psyciatrist can't really help you without meeting and speaking to your father-in-law.
This could be anything from mere burn-out, to something life threatening like a tumour. Or, it could just be chemical imballance, to an actual loosing touch with reality.
Next time he starts chiming in about "God Providing," inform him he's right..."God provides each of us with what we need from within ourselves, or by allowing us to solve the problem by our own efforts..."
2007-11-30 03:26:13 · answer #7 · answered by jcurrieii 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HAS any one taken him back to his neurologist to see if the tumor has' come back or if there's a new one in a different spot????? It seems darn evident that some things organic is going on and all everyone else is talking about is psyhciatric. He needs to go back to his doctor and find out what's going on And someone should do it ASAP!!!!
2007-11-30 04:03:36 · answer #8 · answered by Kathryn R 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like depression. Tell him he needs to go to a doctor and talk to someone and get some meds to get better .
2007-11-30 03:25:40 · answer #9 · answered by ♥Kempa♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he does sound ill and he probably doesn't realise in his own head that he has a problem...so just be there for him and be patient and make allowances for his illness even though it will be hard on the people around him .....God bless
2007-11-30 03:19:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋