My husband doesn't call me when I am away on business?

Question

I am married to a great guy and we are usually good friends, we have a great home and we are very much in love and passionate about each other for 359 days a year.
But here is the weired part. When I am flying out on business, usually for 2-3 days, and rarely. Maybe twice a year. He doesn't call me. I cannot get him on the phone either. I feel like I am "out of sight out of mind". I talked with him about it and he says that he doesn't want to bother me because I am busy and he knows I don't have time to talk on the phone. But I reassure him over and over that it is ok and he can call anytime because I love it when he calls me, or at least answer the phone when I call.
I am now on a business trip again, and its been two days and I didn't hear from him and he doesn't answer his phone.
I was thinking about getting a divorce because I think it is not ok. I am the bread winner in the house so it is not a financial problem to leave him. What am I doing wrong?

Answer 1

And the problem with this is? If not calling for a few days is grounds for divorce, what would happen to your marriage if you really had a problem.

Answer 2

I wudnt say that any of u r doing smthing wrong and its a good reason for u to divorce him.

However its strange why he doesnt answer ur calls when u call. If he doesnt call u coz he thinks u r busy then thats fine but he shud not stay without answering ur calls. U better ask him the reason for this. Is his phone ringing when u call or is it busy? if its ringing then call from another number which he doesnt recognize n see if he answers. If he does, then question him why he didnt answer when u called a while back. if he doesnt answer then note the time and ask him where he was n what he was doing that time (thats when u go back home or if u get a chance to talk to him before going hm).

Then the next question is divording him coz of this. Why dun u try explaining him that u r worried abt it and want to know what he is doing when u r away?
U said u both r hving a wonderful time together when u r together then why wud he not miss u when u r away? If he doesnt give a solid answer tell him u r frustrated and want a divorce if he doesnt tell u the real reason. It might scare him off.

Otherwise what u can do is plan a fake trip...tell him u r going on a business trip n wont be back for a couple of days. Stay at sm hotel or sm plz close by n keep an eye on what he is doing... i guess if u can do this without getting caught to him then u surely can find out what he is up to when u r away... what do u think? Isnt it worth giving it a try? if u get caught tell that u were worried why he doesnt bother abt u when u r away so u wanted to figure it out urself n wanted to convince urself that he is not up to anything bad if u know that i mean..

Good Luck!!!

Answer 3

You really don't love him. You make him sound so perfect until you don't get your way. He should call you but he don't, get over it. Everyone has something that they can change. What is the real problem? You're thinking about DIVORCING the great guy you claim you love because he doesn't call you when you're on a business trip. Out of 365 days you get 359 days of love and passion from your husband. That's a lot. When and if you decide to get this divorce, don't be surprise if you regret it.

Answer 4

I don't understand why he wouldn't answer the phone when you call. I would be totally pissed with my husband for not answering the damned phone! My husband wouldn't call me when I was away either, but he will always answer the phone when I call him.

I wouldn't divorce over this, unless his reasoning for not answering the phone is because he's at a strip club or having an affair or something.

Edit: Okay, okay. I have to add something here. I'm not trying to imply that he's cheating or anything. It could very well be that he's just doing 'guy' things while you're gone, like hanging out with friends and whatnot, as others have said. But still, he couldn't possibly be gone 24 hours a day when you're not at home. At some point, wouldn't he be there to answer the phone? That's what I'm saying.

Edit 2: I told my husband your scenario. The first words out of his mouth were "What's he up to?"

Edit 3: I don't think some people have read the part that you DO call him, but he doesn't answer the phone. I think they're focusing on the part where you say he doesn't call you - they're thinking 'overreactive nutcase'. I think it would be your responsibility to call because who knows, he may get you at a bad time, in the middle of a meeting or something.

Answer 5

Thats strange. Either he's really busy or he's ignoring you for some reason. Try leaving a message and asking him to call you. Then see what happens. Does that mean you can come over now babe?? :) Good Luck! <3

Answer 6

You've got to be kidding about getting a divorce over this really are u serious?? I mean what has marriage come to know-a-days you break up with your 8 grade crush for stuff like that. Do you guys have any kids? Female bread winners typically don't but thought I'd ask.

Listen as guys we want and need our space what he's saying is let me breath unless u don't trust him? The only thing you should look or be observant about is how he acts when you get back home. Is he happy to see you? Does he rush you str8 to the bed? Is the house clean upon your return? Remember let him breath, as the song poet wrote. "Everybody needs a little time away, I heard them say from each other."

Answer 7

What are you afraid of? Is it because you think he doesn't care for you when you're gone? Do you think he's playing around?

I mean, you've told him that you feel special when he calls and then he doesn't CALL when you're gone. I know it hurts your feelings, but you're explaining major insecurity if you're saying you all are so in love but you're thinking of divorcing him because he isn't calling you when you're gone...so it IS a big deal.

You feel insecure of his affection, right? So, do you think perhaps you are relying on him for your identity? I don't know, I mean I'm just guessing from what you wrote. But here are my suggestions:

(1) Think about this before reacting from your hurt feelings. I'm pretty sure if he loves you, he's just being a freaking GUY. They SUCK at communication. So, calm down.
(2) Let him have his down time, Girlfriend. You're only gone twice a year for a couple of days, maybe he's having fun with the guys, sleeping in, walking around the house in his boxers and enjoying some "me" time. Again, calm down.
(3) You're being needy, Girl. You need some balance. If you both love each other and stuff when you're together, you need to learn to TRUST him when you're away and not be so clingy.

I'm NOT trying to be mean, just trying to help you not lose a great man because you're scared he doesn't love you enough.

Answer 8

You are not doing ANYTHING wrong. I am in the same place he is in with my wife. When she goes on a trip or anything, I usually will not call her, not because Im not where I am supossed to be or that I dont care what shes doing. A man for some reason LOVES time where nobodys watching. He is safe at home or maybe out enjoying time with friends. He knows you are okay, but knows its okay to call. Its different for guys, they just really love time alone, but not for a long time, that would be lonelyness. Just know that hes fine, and hes trying to make the best out of it, I assure you. Do not file for a divorce for these reasons, he needs you, just may not be aware that it bothers you. Hope this helps.

Answer 9

I travel a lot for work, 5-7 days a month and often run into this same situation. I've discovered that being away on business is an opportunity for my husband to go and do "guy" things. He orders pizza, eats chips and dip, and watches football without using a coaster. It's just an opportunity for him to live a bachelors life for a few days at a time and he appreciates having his own space. I've learned to accept it and it has acutally made our relationship stronger. I leave him alone for those few days and every time I get home he is MORE Than ready to greet me with open arms.

Maybe for your husband this is also his chance to sort of get away and do all the things he's not allowed to do with the wife around. (unless he's doing really bad things, of course).

Ask him about it, he may just enjoy the space he gets from it.

Answer 10

GOOD LORD DIVORCE CAUSE HE WON'T ANSWER THE PHONE... You need to go on your business trip and leave it alone... You sound like your insecure about him not being in touch with you and that he's sneaking around or something... If this is the case, next trip hire an investigator and have him followed for 2-3 days... If he's fooling around at least you'd have good grounds... GEEZ!!!

Answer 11

Well, I understand the not calling. My wife does not and I would not either. He has no way of knowing what's happening at any given time-really bad time to call/etc. It's always better if the person attending the "thing" do the calling, then it's assured they are not in the middle of something.

having said that-- I agree there's something not right. there is no reason he should not answer his phone. I think something that's not supposed to be happening is happening.
trust is one of the main issues of any relationship-if it ain't there then the rest sorta falls apart, huh.

good luck, and trust your gut.