Thoughts Please
TIME...
Experience the minute,
promise yourself to do something
within the small amount of time
that will be remembered for eternity.
Remind yourself that you need not
impact by what you do in time,
but by who you are
in time.
A single second can turn
a enemy to an ally,
a life to a memory,
a friend to a lover.
Do not hold time in your hands
where it will slip and fall
through the cracks of your
fragile control.
Throw it to the wind
announcing your denouncement of inhibition.
Watch it return,
placing itself as your friend...
instead of your servant.
2007-11-30 01:47:53 · 8 answers · asked by Evadne Soleil 6 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
This isn't copyrighted, if you like it, use it however you want. Words are meant to be free, like time.
2007-11-30 02:58:14 · update #1
I love the subject matter, but aside from that it is a beautifully done poem. With your permission I would like to copy it down and keep it in my journal. I love it.
2007-11-30 02:12:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes nice!!
A second stretched forever
The moment of true loves first kiss
a memory held forever in the heart
By the same hand of cruel fate
year is stolen in a minute too quick it passed
A few fleeting memories all but forgotten
2007-11-30 06:48:09 · answer #2 · answered by steven m 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow--first, I thought it was spiritual when you mentioned 'eternity' and 'not what you do, but who youare', because I think that is the way it is with God.
And then I thought 'fragile control' is also how our time on Earth is----
AND THEN you said 'denouncement of inhibition' and I!! get it, but it sounds like you are making a PUBLIC SPEECH.
Ya know what I mean?
Why can't you say ' the cracks of your hands'?
"Give it to God then, announcing your trust in Him,
Watch it return,
placing itself as your friend, instead of your servant."
Then maybe you can change your subject to "TRUST"---
instead of "TIME"--
JUST A THOUGHT,........................
Do you get what I'm saying?
I mean everything nicely,........
Trust (in God)
can turn an enemy to an ally-
a sad life only to memory,
a best friend to a mate.
2007-11-30 01:56:51 · answer #3 · answered by bettyboop 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No offense to the first answerer, but i like it being time and not trust. that is not to say hers wasn't a good comment and you did ask for opinions.
it was beautiful (not being able to find a better way to word it). it caries an essence of Beutas!
2007-11-30 07:40:45 · answer #4 · answered by Rouxe *(Rue)* 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
pretty nice. l love it, but you should try using poetry language next time. imploy some of the technical terms.
2007-11-30 03:12:19 · answer #5 · answered by ezek4bliss 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That was good! I wish I could think about stuff like that to write poems! :)
2007-11-30 01:59:13 · answer #6 · answered by Jenny1124 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some interesting ideas were lost because of your over dramatics.
2007-11-30 01:57:39 · answer #7 · answered by Mister2-15-2 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Good poem :)
Thanks for sharing
2007-11-30 02:10:37 · answer #8 · answered by Poetry 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋